Gifts for your squeeze: Well you got Valentine?s Day, Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa, Mother?s Day (if applicable) and the birthday gift. These four days are land mines to me. I am the world's worst gifter. When you misstep, the results are often devastating and sometimes irreparable.
For example, one year on Mother?s Day I had Cardinals tickets and failed to shop prior to our departure for Busch. So I am at the ball game, draining eleven dollar beers, when it dawns on me: I can pick up a gift in the Hall of Fame souvenir shop. In my hurried quest between innings I decided on a powder puff blue Willie McGee jersey. My next mistake was to hand her the bag as soon as I got back to the seats and announced with Bud Light driven pride, ?Happy Mothers Day!? She looked inside the bag and her eyes immediately filled with tears. Not the tears of great joy and the promise of Mothers Day night bj?s I was hoping for.
If you are old like me, and in a serious, decades-long relationship, you have been through 120+ of these days. That?s a lot of presents and it?s tough to be creative and win like Charlie Sheen every time the calendar sends you to the mall. So this time I ask you, Madjack brothers and sisters, what is a cool, thoughtful gift I can pickup tonite for tomorrow?s big event? I asked my brother, who is the best gift giver I have ever known and he suggested finding a photo of her with her parents and get it enlarged, reprinted and framed. But dude, I only got like 24 hours. So he told me I should post it in the General forum and see what kind of replies might come through. Of course, your comedy jokes are always welcome!
TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR GRAND PRIZE ELIGIBILITY
Mail-in entries: for those unable to post ideas to madjacksports.com you may still enter the contest by submitting a postcard or a unlined, white index card that is no smaller than 3 ? x 5 inches and no larger than 4 ? x 6 inches. Legibly handwrite your complete name, mailing address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, major credit card number, expiration date and PIN and mail with proper postage to no pepper?s Birthday Sweepstakes, PO Box 10427, Blair, NE 55545. All write-in entries must be postmarked by August 1, 2016. Please no Xeroxed submissions unless accompanied by Paris Hilton sex tape stills. Faulty transmissions, telecommunications malfunctions, human error, entries not received resulting from any hardware or software failures of any kind, spicy foods, lost or unavailable network connections, failed, incomplete or garbled computer or telephone transmissions, genital warts, typographical or system errors and failures, faulty transmissions, technical malfunctions, or otherwise are not the responsibility of no pepper.
For example, one year on Mother?s Day I had Cardinals tickets and failed to shop prior to our departure for Busch. So I am at the ball game, draining eleven dollar beers, when it dawns on me: I can pick up a gift in the Hall of Fame souvenir shop. In my hurried quest between innings I decided on a powder puff blue Willie McGee jersey. My next mistake was to hand her the bag as soon as I got back to the seats and announced with Bud Light driven pride, ?Happy Mothers Day!? She looked inside the bag and her eyes immediately filled with tears. Not the tears of great joy and the promise of Mothers Day night bj?s I was hoping for.
If you are old like me, and in a serious, decades-long relationship, you have been through 120+ of these days. That?s a lot of presents and it?s tough to be creative and win like Charlie Sheen every time the calendar sends you to the mall. So this time I ask you, Madjack brothers and sisters, what is a cool, thoughtful gift I can pickup tonite for tomorrow?s big event? I asked my brother, who is the best gift giver I have ever known and he suggested finding a photo of her with her parents and get it enlarged, reprinted and framed. But dude, I only got like 24 hours. So he told me I should post it in the General forum and see what kind of replies might come through. Of course, your comedy jokes are always welcome!
TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR GRAND PRIZE ELIGIBILITY
Mail-in entries: for those unable to post ideas to madjacksports.com you may still enter the contest by submitting a postcard or a unlined, white index card that is no smaller than 3 ? x 5 inches and no larger than 4 ? x 6 inches. Legibly handwrite your complete name, mailing address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, major credit card number, expiration date and PIN and mail with proper postage to no pepper?s Birthday Sweepstakes, PO Box 10427, Blair, NE 55545. All write-in entries must be postmarked by August 1, 2016. Please no Xeroxed submissions unless accompanied by Paris Hilton sex tape stills. Faulty transmissions, telecommunications malfunctions, human error, entries not received resulting from any hardware or software failures of any kind, spicy foods, lost or unavailable network connections, failed, incomplete or garbled computer or telephone transmissions, genital warts, typographical or system errors and failures, faulty transmissions, technical malfunctions, or otherwise are not the responsibility of no pepper.
