Two bad days in one week!! WTF?!!?

[fatdaddycool]

Okay, so the other night the GF wants to go see this local band that we see pretty often and are friends with. Well she gets kind of hammered and wouldn't you know it the ex-wife and two of her friends walk in. No big deal as we are pretty good friends. Well the GF doesn't know who she is or why I know her and her friends, so I tell her. Her reaction was as expected, she asked a couple of questions and dropped it. She is a very cool girl. Anyway, the GF gets too drunk to drive so we leave, (I actually only had two beers in three hours as I had to work the next day) and wouldn't you know it, guess whose car is parked right next to mine? You guessed it. The ex. So I giggle a bit and she (GF) asks what I am laughing about. I tell her, and this is why she is awesome. She immediately tells me I should bend her over the hood of my ex's car. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, there was no way I could have seen the handprints or the butt mark, nor did I know that her (my ex) and her husband have the same car?!?! That was not a fun phone call.


Then yesterday I had to work outside all day and I got a frigging heat rash. Well I read somewhere that sun is the best thing for a rash so in the privacy of my own back yard, I lay out on the hammock to get some sun on my nuts. Did you know that you can't lay out with your nuts pulled up to get sun on your rash? Apparently it is frowned upon even in your own backyard?!!? I told the cop that I have skinny dipped a million times and even flubbed the nub in a bird bath before. She was unimpressed. I actually got a citation!??! WTF? Stupid law.

Hope that helps,
FDC

 

[krc]

Okay, so the other night the GF wants to go see this local band that we see pretty often and are friends with. Well she gets kind of hammered and wouldn't you know it the ex-wife and two of her friends walk in. No big deal as we are pretty good friends. Well the GF doesn't know who she is or why I know her and her friends, so I tell her. Her reaction was as expected, she asked a couple of questions and dropped it. She is a very cool girl. Anyway, the GF gets too drunk to drive so we leave, (I actually only had two beers in three hours as I had to work the next day) and wouldn't you know it, guess whose car is parked right next to mine? You guessed it. The ex. So I giggle a bit and she (GF) asks what I am laughing about. I tell her, and this is why she is awesome. She immediately tells me I should bend her over the hood of my ex's car. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Well, there was no way I could have seen the handprints or the butt mark, nor did I know that her (my ex) and her husband have the same car?!?! That was not a fun phone call.


Then yesterday I had to work outside all day and I got a frigging heat rash. Well I read somewhere that sun is the best thing for a rash so in the privacy of my own back yard, I lay out on the hammock to get some sun on my nuts. Did you know that you can't lay out with your nuts pulled up to get sun on your rash? Apparently it is frowned upon even in your own backyard?!!? I told the cop that I have skinny dipped a million times and even flubbed the nub in a bird bath before. She was unimpressed. I actually got a citation!??! WTF? Stupid law.

Hope that helps,
FDC

:facepalm:

Good Luck Brother
It will get better

 

[Sportsaholic]

Dont you just hate Appartment Buildings Rules..............:SIB

 

[azbob]

Lifestyles of the demented, perverse and self-absorbed.

Even the 99 percenters are shaking their heads in replusion.

 

[bleedingpurple]

Sounds like you have an awesome GF!!

The "Old Bird Bath," get's us every time. Nothing makes me want to rub one out more than the sturdiness of a bird bath.

 

[fatdaddycool]

Lifestyles of the demented, perverse and self-absorbed.

Even the 99 percenters are shaking their heads in replusion.

Is REPLUSION a good thing. I am guessing that it isn't because when I type it......it has an unmistakable red line underneath it that screams stupid. You didn't notice it? So in the seven words you typed (the is an article and isn't reflected in word counts, nor is a numeral), you fucked two of them up and you are attempting to insult me? Am I reading that right, you are trying to insult me are you not?


Dumbass.



Hope that helps,
FDC

 

[fatdaddycool]

:facepalm:

Good Luck Brother
It will get better

Dont you just hate Appartment Buildings Rules..............:SIB

Sounds like you have an awesome GF!!

The "Old Bird Bath," get's us every time. Nothing makes me want to rub one out more than the sturdiness of a bird bath.

Actually I do have an awesome GF. If I can get her to quit pranking me and fucking with me all the time she would be better. Well that and more anal.

Thanks KRC,

No Sports it isn't an apartment building, it's the homeowners association that isn't worth a shit.


There is just something about bird baths man. Their is probably a swallow or two flying around that has my eyes..............well, maybe not a swallow........a pigeon or grackle maybe.


Hope that helps,
FDC

 

[Nole]

How about a swim with dicks on your head?

Hope this helps.





:mj07:








Hey brother!!!

 

[fatdaddycool]

How about a swim with dicks on your head?

Hope this helps.





:mj07:








Hey brother!!!

Are they spring loaded?

 

[Nole]

Are they spring loaded?

Only the best for you my friend!!!


Can't recall laughing that hard FDC!!!!!!



:toast:

 

[The Boys]

Actually I do have an awesome GF. If I can get her to quit pranking me and fucking with me all the time she would be better. Well that and more anal.

Thanks KRC,

No Sports it isn't an apartment building, it's the homeowners association that isn't worth a shit.


There is just something about bird baths man. Their is probably a swallow or two flying around that has my eyes..............well, maybe not a swallow........a pigeon or grackle maybe.


Hope that helps,
FDC

 

[RAYMOND]

Dont you just hate Appartment Buildings Rules..............:SIB

:142smilie :142smilie