The Knob
Nancy visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a
new procedure called 'The Knob.'
A small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and
could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the
effect of a brand new face-lift.
Of course, Nancy
wanted 'The Knob.'
Over the course of the years, Nancy tightened the knob,
and the effects were wonderful, Nancy remained young
looking and vibrant.
After fifteen years, Nancy returned to the surgeon with
two problems.
'All these years, everything has been working just
fine.
I've had to turn the knob many times and
I've always loved the results.
But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid
of them.
The doctor looked at Nancy closely and said, 'Those
aren't bags, those are your breasts.'
'Well, Nancy said, I guess there's no point in
asking about the goatee.'
TALKING LAB
Jim is driving around the back woods of Bug Tussle Oklahoma and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style farm house
''Talking Dog For Sale"
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
Jim goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Yellow Labrador retriever sitting there intently watching a squirrel in the nearby tree.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After Jim recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.. I wanted to help the government, so I worked for the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
'I was one of their most valuable spies for 7 years running... "
But the jetting around really tired me out,
and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so
I decided to get a job closer to home.
I signed up for a job
at the Dallas Ft Worth airport to do some undercover security.
" While wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in, I exposed some incredible
criminal plots and was awarded a batch of medals."
"Later, I got married, had a big family, and
now I'm just retired."
Jim is simply amazed, he goes back in and asks
the owner what he wants for the dog.
''Ten dollars,'' the old farmer says.
'TEN DOLLARS? This dog is amazing! Why on
earth are you selling him so cheap?'
''Because he's such a freaking liar!
He's never been out of the backyard''
Nancy visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a
new procedure called 'The Knob.'
A small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and
could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the
effect of a brand new face-lift.
Of course, Nancy
wanted 'The Knob.'
Over the course of the years, Nancy tightened the knob,
and the effects were wonderful, Nancy remained young
looking and vibrant.
After fifteen years, Nancy returned to the surgeon with
two problems.
'All these years, everything has been working just
fine.
I've had to turn the knob many times and
I've always loved the results.
But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid
of them.
The doctor looked at Nancy closely and said, 'Those
aren't bags, those are your breasts.'
'Well, Nancy said, I guess there's no point in
asking about the goatee.'
TALKING LAB
Jim is driving around the back woods of Bug Tussle Oklahoma and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style farm house
''Talking Dog For Sale"
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
Jim goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Yellow Labrador retriever sitting there intently watching a squirrel in the nearby tree.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After Jim recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.. I wanted to help the government, so I worked for the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
'I was one of their most valuable spies for 7 years running... "
But the jetting around really tired me out,
and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so
I decided to get a job closer to home.
I signed up for a job
at the Dallas Ft Worth airport to do some undercover security.
" While wandering near suspicious characters and
listening in, I exposed some incredible
criminal plots and was awarded a batch of medals."
"Later, I got married, had a big family, and
now I'm just retired."
Jim is simply amazed, he goes back in and asks
the owner what he wants for the dog.
''Ten dollars,'' the old farmer says.
'TEN DOLLARS? This dog is amazing! Why on
earth are you selling him so cheap?'
''Because he's such a freaking liar!
He's never been out of the backyard''
