Understanding Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike." She threw the bike to the ground,
took off all her clothes, and said "Take what you want." The second engineer
nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! Let's have
a word with him. Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes,
that's a group of blind firefighters.They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.
" The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad.
I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. " The doctor said,
"Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and
see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.
Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical
engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.
" The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent
over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again
and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I
will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out,
"If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and
do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it,
and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for a
week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said,
"Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking
frog, now that's cool."
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike." She threw the bike to the ground,
took off all her clothes, and said "Take what you want." The second engineer
nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! Let's have
a word with him. Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes,
that's a group of blind firefighters.They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.
" The group was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad.
I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. " The doctor said,
"Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and
see if there's anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.
Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical
engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.
" The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent
over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again
and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I
will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out,
"If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and
do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it,
and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and I'll stay with you for a
week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said,
"Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking
frog, now that's cool."
