A man suffered a serious heart attack and had bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find he was in the care of nuns
in a Catholic hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked him
questions regarding how he would like to pay for his treatment.
She asked if he had health insurance. He replied, in a raspy
voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, "No
money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you out?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not
spinsters, nuns are married to God."
The man replied, "Then send the bill to my brother-in-law!"
*******************************
Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers, when she
passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers, on their
way to classes.
As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good
morning ladies."
The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be
with you."
But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the
other, "I think she got out of the wrong side of the bed this
morning."
This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the
issue.
A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of
the Sisters who had been teaching at the convent for several
years. She greeted them with, "Good morning Sister Martha,
Sister Jessica, may God give you wisdom for our students
today."
"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you, and may God be with
you."
But again, after passing, Mother Superior overheard, "She got
out of the wrong side of bed today."
Baffled, she started to wonder if she had spoken harshly, or
with an irritated look on her face. She vowed to be more
pleasant. Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired
Sister Mary approaching, step by step, with her walker. As
Sister Mary was rather deaf, Mother Superior had plenty of time
to arrange a pleasant smile on her face, before greeting Sister
Mary. "Good morning, Sister Mary. I'm so happy to see you up
and about. I pray God watches over you today, and grants you a
wonderful day."
"Ah, Good morning, Mother Superior, and thank you. I see you
got up on the wrong side of bed this morning."
Mother Superior was floored! "Sister Mary, what have I done
wrong? I have tried to be pleasant, but three times already
today, people have said that about me."
Sister Mary stopped her walker, and looked Mother Superior in
the face. "Oh, don't take it personal, Mother Superior. It's
just that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers."
He awakened from the surgery to find he was in the care of nuns
in a Catholic hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked him
questions regarding how he would like to pay for his treatment.
She asked if he had health insurance. He replied, in a raspy
voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, "No
money in the bank."
The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you out?"
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not
spinsters, nuns are married to God."
The man replied, "Then send the bill to my brother-in-law!"
*******************************
Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers, when she
passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers, on their
way to classes.
As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good
morning ladies."
The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be
with you."
But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the
other, "I think she got out of the wrong side of the bed this
morning."
This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the
issue.
A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of
the Sisters who had been teaching at the convent for several
years. She greeted them with, "Good morning Sister Martha,
Sister Jessica, may God give you wisdom for our students
today."
"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you, and may God be with
you."
But again, after passing, Mother Superior overheard, "She got
out of the wrong side of bed today."
Baffled, she started to wonder if she had spoken harshly, or
with an irritated look on her face. She vowed to be more
pleasant. Looking down the hall, Mother Superior saw retired
Sister Mary approaching, step by step, with her walker. As
Sister Mary was rather deaf, Mother Superior had plenty of time
to arrange a pleasant smile on her face, before greeting Sister
Mary. "Good morning, Sister Mary. I'm so happy to see you up
and about. I pray God watches over you today, and grants you a
wonderful day."
"Ah, Good morning, Mother Superior, and thank you. I see you
got up on the wrong side of bed this morning."
Mother Superior was floored! "Sister Mary, what have I done
wrong? I have tried to be pleasant, but three times already
today, people have said that about me."
Sister Mary stopped her walker, and looked Mother Superior in
the face. "Oh, don't take it personal, Mother Superior. It's
just that you're wearing Father Murphy's slippers."
