Subject: Wal-Mart Computer
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Wayne says to Carl,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I better see a doctor."
Carl replies, "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money.
There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it
a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and
what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars..
That's a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Wayne deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up
and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the
slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout that says, "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
was, Wayne began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine
samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the
mixture for good measure then hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager
to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with an anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Wayne says to Carl,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I better see a doctor."
Carl replies, "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money.
There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it
a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and
what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars..
That's a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Wayne deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up
and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the
slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout that says, "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology
was, Wayne began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine
samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the
mixture for good measure then hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager
to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with an anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
