Just came up in a conversation with a friend. My Mother and Father drank very little, mainly at social events.
:0corn
:0corn
Was your Father or Mother a Drunk?
- Thread starter The Boys
- Start date
Both social drinkers on this end.....Had a buddy growing up who's dad was a mean drunk though.....Always yelling at him and the occasional smack...You could never visit his house fearing his dad would come home.....This guy has never taken a drop in his life for fear of turning into his dad......It's a shame, probably one of the most miserable person you've ever been around and all because of his childhood.....:0008
Ugh. My dad. He has straightened up since I was a kid but it was scary when I was little. If you couldn't find my dad all you had to do was call the bar and see if he was there. He usually was. I remember many nights he would come home from the bar and beat the crap out of my step mom and she would tell us to all go in my room and lock the door and not come out. The one that stuck in my mind the most I had to be about 9 yrs old. He beat her up and then locked her outside on the front porch naked with the lights on so everyone would see her. I remember opening my door and hearing her banging on the door to please let her in. So I ran as fast as I could down the hallway to the door and unlocked it and let her in. Us three kids fell asleep cowering in my room and the next morning when we went out into the kitchen there was a huge hole in the wall. Apparently she and my dad kept fighting and she spun him around so hard he went straight thru the drywall. Of course they told us that they swung the door open so hard the knob knocked a hole in the wall but holy fuck it was a 2 foot x 3 foot hole. I also didn't find out until I was 30 that he also beat my mom. I felt such sadness at that time that she let someone do that to her because I never thought she would put up with that. My parents split when I was 1 1/2 so I don't remember any of that. But drinking ruined both of his marriages. I always said NO ONE would ever lay a hand on me. The funny thing is when someone says about "what would you do if someone beat your daughters or your granddaughter?" his response is that he would kill them because those were his girls and no one would hurt them. Kind of ironic.
You chose a real up lifting subject. Are you doing a study of children of alcoholic parents ? What would your kids say about you ? Have to cut this short because one of my cat's just got into the vodka again. Now that's a interesting subject. " Was your Cat or Dog a Drunk ? Forgot , what would your kids say about you ?
I have never seen my mom drunk :shrug: she would drink a couple back in the day but that was it
I have seen my dad drunk at the deer lease, he never drank at home, ever...neither do I :shrug:
I have seen my dad drunk at the deer lease, he never drank at home, ever...neither do I :shrug:
Gary,
My Father drank himself to death. He had a disease. It was and is incredibly sad to see happen. I don't want to demean his existence by referring to him as a drunk, he wasn't, he had a disease and didn't have the strength to fight it. He didn't play catch in the yard, he drank. He didn't take me to a single ball game, he drank. He never attended a single hockey, football, or basketball game I played in as a kid, not a single one, he drank. He did fly out to my graduation from Marine Corps boot camp, then he went to the hotel and drank and my Mom and I spent the week rest of the week together. Wrecked cars and relationships were the norm, he drank. He was the head buyer for Sears & Roebuck at 35 years of age. By 50 he had been fired from Franks Nursery and Crafts for leaving the doors wide open one night. He sold appliances part time for the next few years until he retired. He had no friends left at the end. Not that there weren't people that cared about it, they just didn't care to be around him. He sat in the guest room at my parent's condo and drank. All day, every day. He became withdrawn and depressed.
He fell in the bathroom getting ready for his father's , my grandfather, funeral. He hit his head on the soap dish in the bathtub and scalped himself. The crown of his head was peeled back and he refused to go to the hospital. He wanted to drink and watch the Bears playoff game the following day. He was in the hospital, saw the Bears game and gave up.
He was cremated and his remains are buried here in Texas by me rather than in Chicago. The last few years of his life we were able to come to a middle ground. He would come visit me and we would go fishing, usually only once because he didn't want to be too far from the vodka and honestly didn't have the strength or will. The last time he visited, I saw the toll it had taken on him and his body. He was 5'11" and weighed 118 pounds, chronic diarrhea, frail and weak.
Funny thing, he attended the final day weigh in of the state championship where I was able to come from behind and win on the final day and win state angler of the year.
What I know from living with that my entire life is, that I cannot fathom the ultimate sadness and despair that he must have felt every day. His last words ever spoken were to me, to tell me he loved me and always has. I always thought he hated me. I never thought I would care that he died, we had our differences and I was not a good kid. I certainly never thought the memory of him would make me sad. I miss him. More than I ever would have imagined. I really wish we could have seen a ball game together, but he drank.
Hope this helps,
FDC
My Father drank himself to death. He had a disease. It was and is incredibly sad to see happen. I don't want to demean his existence by referring to him as a drunk, he wasn't, he had a disease and didn't have the strength to fight it. He didn't play catch in the yard, he drank. He didn't take me to a single ball game, he drank. He never attended a single hockey, football, or basketball game I played in as a kid, not a single one, he drank. He did fly out to my graduation from Marine Corps boot camp, then he went to the hotel and drank and my Mom and I spent the week rest of the week together. Wrecked cars and relationships were the norm, he drank. He was the head buyer for Sears & Roebuck at 35 years of age. By 50 he had been fired from Franks Nursery and Crafts for leaving the doors wide open one night. He sold appliances part time for the next few years until he retired. He had no friends left at the end. Not that there weren't people that cared about it, they just didn't care to be around him. He sat in the guest room at my parent's condo and drank. All day, every day. He became withdrawn and depressed.
He fell in the bathroom getting ready for his father's , my grandfather, funeral. He hit his head on the soap dish in the bathtub and scalped himself. The crown of his head was peeled back and he refused to go to the hospital. He wanted to drink and watch the Bears playoff game the following day. He was in the hospital, saw the Bears game and gave up.
He was cremated and his remains are buried here in Texas by me rather than in Chicago. The last few years of his life we were able to come to a middle ground. He would come visit me and we would go fishing, usually only once because he didn't want to be too far from the vodka and honestly didn't have the strength or will. The last time he visited, I saw the toll it had taken on him and his body. He was 5'11" and weighed 118 pounds, chronic diarrhea, frail and weak.
Funny thing, he attended the final day weigh in of the state championship where I was able to come from behind and win on the final day and win state angler of the year.
What I know from living with that my entire life is, that I cannot fathom the ultimate sadness and despair that he must have felt every day. His last words ever spoken were to me, to tell me he loved me and always has. I always thought he hated me. I never thought I would care that he died, we had our differences and I was not a good kid. I certainly never thought the memory of him would make me sad. I miss him. More than I ever would have imagined. I really wish we could have seen a ball game together, but he drank.
Hope this helps,
FDC
That was hard to read FDC, sorry to hear man. I understand you more after reading this. I could not imagine, I am sure you are a good role model for your daughter.
Thank you brother, I appreciate the kind words. I certainly try to be.
We all need to learn from our mistakes if anything is to ever get better, right?
FDC wow brother I really feel for you. Fathers aren't supposed to neglect their family and be that selfish. I'm glad you saw what he was like and you became a much better person. Thanks for being a great guy and sharing your life with us.
Thanks Spartan,
I guess the title got to me. I don't like to think of him or anyone as drunks. I think it is dismissive and mean and I by no means think the Boys meant it that way any more than I think my Dad meant to be selfish or uncaring, but it still bothered me a bit. Anyway, thanks man I appreciate your very kind words. I mean that.
Cheers,
Cris
