Hope all is well with everyone!
And I'm Hoping some have an opinion here either way...
My sister is getting married in October....she is my only biological sister...and I have a older brother... my parents divorced when the 3 of us were young....since then, they both remarried and I have 3 step siblings on each side...so 9 kids total....
Anyways, my sis is getting married and recently told my dad that he is going to be walking her down the aisle... with my stepdad....my dad is hurt over it, but would never say anything to ruin her day....I however am contemplating discussing it with my mom....
When I got married, my step mom didnt get half of the "mother-son" dance....my stepmom didnt get to light a candle during the ceremony....only my mom did....and my stepmom understood....
My sisters wedding is at my mother's home....because they are hosting it, I think they have got to dictate a lot....and perhaps influenced her to have my step dad join....
My sis is my dad's only daughter....my step dad has 3 daughters of his own, and hes got to walk 2 of them already.......This is my dads only chance and hes obviously always looked forward to it
My question....is he right to be hurt? Or is it not a big deal?
Also an fyi...they sent invitations to all of the siblings (myself included) and also my dad.....literally my dad got a mailed invite to his own daughters wedding to rsvp.....I personally think my mom is excited and possibly unknowingly or subconsciously wanted to get her credit that my sis picked her house to have her wedding at....my mom isn't arrogant or mean spirited and I think she was just excited....but it made my dad feel he was the lesser..... that also hurt my father having to get an invitation and knowing that she didnt pick his property to do it (which is also big enough to hold the event)
I really feel for my dad....I have an 8 yr old daughter and I hate sharing her....but I also understand its what my sister wants....
The part that is bugging me most....they are Having my stepdad walk down the aisle but they are NOT having my step mom light a candle at the beginning with the other biological mothers.....double standard? I dont know...
My dads is a man's man... he raised me to be "tough"...I played college ball/hunt/etc....he raised me that way...but because of his tough exterior, he never let us see him hurt or vulnerable....until now...so perhaps that is why I feel sick for him.....or maybe because hes right and I agree it's a fathers job to walk his daughter.....
I suppose it really isn't my place to decide, but I honestly am thinking it's fair he feels how he does...again, my mom and sister are not mean people...I dont think it was done with intent....but they have just made him feel that hes not important or involved...
He would never complain or say anything outside of his conversation with me and my bro about it, because he wouldn't want to ruin her day....but it is still 2 months away and I'm thinking I need to say something soon so it washes over long before the wedding day....
I'm excited for my sis....and know it's her day....but its also arguably one of the 4-5 biggest days for a father as well, and I want both of them to feel excitement
We have had 4 weddings of the 9 kids this far.... and only the father walked in all 4, although a stepdad was available in all 4....so no standard or expectation for her to ask my stepdad....
I just am curious what outside perspectives are
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And I'm Hoping some have an opinion here either way...
My sister is getting married in October....she is my only biological sister...and I have a older brother... my parents divorced when the 3 of us were young....since then, they both remarried and I have 3 step siblings on each side...so 9 kids total....
Anyways, my sis is getting married and recently told my dad that he is going to be walking her down the aisle... with my stepdad....my dad is hurt over it, but would never say anything to ruin her day....I however am contemplating discussing it with my mom....
When I got married, my step mom didnt get half of the "mother-son" dance....my stepmom didnt get to light a candle during the ceremony....only my mom did....and my stepmom understood....
My sisters wedding is at my mother's home....because they are hosting it, I think they have got to dictate a lot....and perhaps influenced her to have my step dad join....
My sis is my dad's only daughter....my step dad has 3 daughters of his own, and hes got to walk 2 of them already.......This is my dads only chance and hes obviously always looked forward to it
My question....is he right to be hurt? Or is it not a big deal?
Also an fyi...they sent invitations to all of the siblings (myself included) and also my dad.....literally my dad got a mailed invite to his own daughters wedding to rsvp.....I personally think my mom is excited and possibly unknowingly or subconsciously wanted to get her credit that my sis picked her house to have her wedding at....my mom isn't arrogant or mean spirited and I think she was just excited....but it made my dad feel he was the lesser..... that also hurt my father having to get an invitation and knowing that she didnt pick his property to do it (which is also big enough to hold the event)
I really feel for my dad....I have an 8 yr old daughter and I hate sharing her....but I also understand its what my sister wants....
The part that is bugging me most....they are Having my stepdad walk down the aisle but they are NOT having my step mom light a candle at the beginning with the other biological mothers.....double standard? I dont know...
My dads is a man's man... he raised me to be "tough"...I played college ball/hunt/etc....he raised me that way...but because of his tough exterior, he never let us see him hurt or vulnerable....until now...so perhaps that is why I feel sick for him.....or maybe because hes right and I agree it's a fathers job to walk his daughter.....
I suppose it really isn't my place to decide, but I honestly am thinking it's fair he feels how he does...again, my mom and sister are not mean people...I dont think it was done with intent....but they have just made him feel that hes not important or involved...
He would never complain or say anything outside of his conversation with me and my bro about it, because he wouldn't want to ruin her day....but it is still 2 months away and I'm thinking I need to say something soon so it washes over long before the wedding day....
I'm excited for my sis....and know it's her day....but its also arguably one of the 4-5 biggest days for a father as well, and I want both of them to feel excitement
We have had 4 weddings of the 9 kids this far.... and only the father walked in all 4, although a stepdad was available in all 4....so no standard or expectation for her to ask my stepdad....
I just am curious what outside perspectives are
Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk
