Week 7 Male Enhancement.. From your pal The Maggot

[Maggot]

Everyday I get bombarded with emails promising a bigger boner. When I rough up the suspect or punch the clown,my hand don't complain one bit. Neither does my kids old muppet sock puppet. I always had a thing for Miss Piggy. ( Just saying) Now I'm not excavating new territory anymore with my shlong but I'm not embarrassing myself when I piss in the troth at the Vfw clambake each summer either. I guess you'd say my shwanz like my picks are a little better than the average Joe, Especially for an Irish Fcuk like me. When i was younger I extended my Junk like any normal guy. First of all I beat off.
Often. Secondly I Cooked bacon naked. And thirsd living near the shore as a young pup whenever possible I humped a red jellyfish while listening to John Cougar sing Hurt So Good.
No Pain No Gain,


Picks shortly my wireless is on the fritz

:facepalm:

 

[elmer fudd]

lmfao..:142smilie

 

[Speed]

Poet or Handicapper...

Poet or Handicapper...

You make the call....:shrug:

 

[hedgehog]

reminds me of Clem D :shrug:

keep writing, you are funny...

good luck this week

 

[Franchise_Davis]

reminds me of Clem D :shrug:

keep writing, you are funny...

good luck this week

He needs that funny Al Bundy picture

 

[Maggot]

I'm hoping to "Enhance" the bankroll. I'm having a real hard time narrowing my picks down to 5 and putting them in order. Waiting on some info today.
Year to Date
Straight plays 19-11 +704
Best Bets 2-4 :scared
Totals 9-5
Parlays 0-6 (-600) :nono:
Teasers 4-2 +460

Just a reminder I play 5 games all for a benjamin. The first one on my list is my best bet. I parlay the first 3 for a benjy. And tease the top three for a deuce. Just playing for beer money. My real concern is my bet with my local bartender that I can't hit some benchmarks for the season. Other than the parlays I'm on pace to do it. I hate parlays.

 

[elmer fudd]

Can u make ml parlays?

 

[ldabdou]

reminds me of Clem D :shrug:

What happened to him?

 

[Smitty]

What happened to him?

rumor has it that the seahag finally chopped his dick off. :scared

 

[canuckfan77]

rumor has it that the seahag finally chopped his dick off. :scared

:mj07:

 

[Hersh24]

LOVE THE MAGGOT

LOVE THE MAGGOT

Don't post much but been on here since College....ahhh Clem D, I rode that guys coattails to the best damn bowl season of all-time. (2005?)

I'll never forget the quote he put at the bottom "The agent for the book I used asked how I did it. I said I followed some clown online who quit his job and was living the dream, true story."

Love seeing the Maggot's stories week to week, might even inspire me to post more on here with everybody.

:0074

:mj07:

 

[Maggot]

This play will not count against the bankroll but I did find a rare middle opportunity on the Buffalo/Minny game. I caught my local sleeping with his line still at 7 and got offshore at -5.5. I think this might be still out there. Anyway If Buffalo wins by 6, I'm going to be role playing with the queen at 4:30 on Sunday. We are going to pretend I'm still broke and she is a korean massage girl. When I flip over for some frontal massage, my wang is going to pretend to be mt Vesuvius and her face is the lost city of Pompeii.:00hour

On to the action.

Baltimore over 49.
Saints under 48
Arizona-3.5
Bears- 3 (120)
Wash under 46

Will this be the week the parlay comes through? I'm going with yes because I popped it for a deuce. Get your popcorn ready.:0corn
The teaser looks fatter than Oprah
Balt over 39
Saints under 58
Cards + 6.5
For a triple

 

[Maggot]

The Maggots real tip of the day.. Never take your queen doggy style after she ate Mexican food and drank 12 of them mexican beers that the Old fuck with the beard is trying to pimp in those commercials.
My Take

I don't often have erectile disfunction but when I do you can bet my bitch was drinking shit beer and had refried beans and I made the mistake of taking her from behind.


The bitch carpet bombed me. Man down! I felt like I got hit by a skunk. I pulled out my shrinky dink and promptly passed started dry heaving as I hobbled like a penguin down the hall with my Levis down around my ankles. Never in all my years have I inhaled anything like that, I shit you not I could taste everything she consumed. You know what made it worse the Queen was howling with laughter.

What was she raised by wolves?

 

[Maggot]

I chickened out and kept the parlay for a single and the teaser for the usual deuce..

Have a good one

 

[Maggot]

straight 3-2 +70
Best 0-1 fml
Parlay loser -100
Teaser -loser -240

-270 for the week.



If I just played my five games straight Im killing it this season... Damn You Slim the Bartender and our bet.. :nono: