Although David Wells has pitched relatively well, the Red Sox front office is disturbed that Wells is not only ignoring the diet guidelines they have set for him, but has in fact shown utter disdain for them. ?I ain't out to win no beauty contests,? Wells said recently when asked about the guidelines. ?Food don?t have nothing to do with how you pitch.?
Theo Epstein, however, disagrees. ?The statistics clearly show that David could be even more effective if he improved his diet,? Epstein said. ?Our guidelines call for a breakfast of high-fiber toast and a low-fat bran cereal, with a big soy protein smoothie. David typically starts his day with ice cream, leftover pizza, or Chinese food, and has even been known to wash it down with a beer. The main ingredient in any smoothie he drinks is vodka. With our diet he?d have the energy to go nine innings and would add years to his career.? Wells replies that the diet simply wouldn?t work for him. ?I?d be on the can all day, man. I gotta pitch. When you?re on the mound they don?t stop the game for bathroom breaks.?
Epstein is also exasperated that instead of consuming energy bars or nutritious snacks such as applesauce or a banana during a game, Wells scarfs down hot dogs drenched in sauerkraut between innings, along with a customary beer. ?The beer dehydrates him and dulls his reflexes, and the fat from the hot dog slows him down,? said a disgusted Epstein. ?We tried switching the hot dog to a nice tofu-dog one night, and he spit it out right there in the dugout.? Wells simply shrugs and says, ?I ain?t eating that crap.?
Wells is diplomatic when explaining his philosophy. ?I told Theo from day one, get away from me with those charts and graphs. Just gimme some heavy metal music, a cooler of beer, and hand me the ball every five days. I might look like The Blob, but I can pitch.?
Theo Epstein, however, disagrees. ?The statistics clearly show that David could be even more effective if he improved his diet,? Epstein said. ?Our guidelines call for a breakfast of high-fiber toast and a low-fat bran cereal, with a big soy protein smoothie. David typically starts his day with ice cream, leftover pizza, or Chinese food, and has even been known to wash it down with a beer. The main ingredient in any smoothie he drinks is vodka. With our diet he?d have the energy to go nine innings and would add years to his career.? Wells replies that the diet simply wouldn?t work for him. ?I?d be on the can all day, man. I gotta pitch. When you?re on the mound they don?t stop the game for bathroom breaks.?
Epstein is also exasperated that instead of consuming energy bars or nutritious snacks such as applesauce or a banana during a game, Wells scarfs down hot dogs drenched in sauerkraut between innings, along with a customary beer. ?The beer dehydrates him and dulls his reflexes, and the fat from the hot dog slows him down,? said a disgusted Epstein. ?We tried switching the hot dog to a nice tofu-dog one night, and he spit it out right there in the dugout.? Wells simply shrugs and says, ?I ain?t eating that crap.?
Wells is diplomatic when explaining his philosophy. ?I told Theo from day one, get away from me with those charts and graphs. Just gimme some heavy metal music, a cooler of beer, and hand me the ball every five days. I might look like The Blob, but I can pitch.?
