Who is manly enough to admit..........

[dickiesports]

You have sharted once in your lifetime............

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiNZdTSH3-A

So been having a little stressed out stomach last few days nothing major. I went to fuddruckers for lunch today. Nothing bad......Grilled Chicken Sandwich some fries.........Pepsi. Well I had to run an errand afterwards so I pulled into the shopping plaza and they have it taped off for black-tarring.

Still no issue. Well I park. Get out and hmmm I think a little fart is coming............WELL. WTF.

WHERE WERE THE :

So here I am in the middle of a parking lot going
:scared then I start to :mj07: and wonder is this what happens when you approach middle age ?

Good thing it did not seep through my jeans or run down my leg.

 

[dickiesports]

Oh forgot to add.......

Oh forgot to add.......

Walked very precisely into the store......Made my way to the mens room.........Did my thing cleaned up washed up............Proceeded to plug the toilet and there was no plunger to be found....... :142smilie

 

[DOGS THAT BARK]

Have a couple of stories--this probably the most embarrassing.

Was in a hurry leaving hotel in China--and brushed my teeth with their tap water vs bottled water--automatic dysentary. By time I got to Hong Kong from Nanning China--stomach was rolling. Was standing by carrosal waiting for bag when little old lady tried to grab her bag which was twice as big as her--it started to drag her and I grabbed bag off for her--strain was too much and I shit all over myself--the huge croud around me waiting for their bag-parted like the red sea--wasn't anyone within 20 feet of me. got my bag off when it came around--went in bathroom -washed self off--threw old cloths away and put on new cloths and was off to find 1st drug store I could find.

 

[I LOVE WR]

Ah DTB I am laughing while typing this. Ah that was funny.

Ive done it twice in my life, couldnt clean up either time. Just went with the flow. Had wicked rash both times. I think I still have those undies somewhere also.

Life goes on

 

[jr11]

Have a couple of stories--this probably the most embarrassing.

Was in a hurry leaving hotel in China--and brushed my teeth with their tap water vs bottled water--automatic dysentary. By time I got to Hong Kong from Nanning China--stomach was rolling. Was standing by carrosal waiting for bag when little old lady tried to grab her bag which was twice as big as her--it started to drag her and I grabbed bag off for her--strain was too much and I shit all over myself--the huge croud around me waiting for their bag-parted like the red sea--wasn't anyone within 20 feet of me. got my bag off when it came around--went in bathroom -washed self off--threw old cloths away and put on new cloths and was off to find 1st drug store I could find.

That is just too funny, thanks for the laugh.

 

[yyz]

"Did you just shit your pants?"


"Well......I didn't think you would let me shit YOURS!"


:mj07:

 

[THE KOD]

I liked DTB shit story. Jack had a thread about this a year or so ago and I cant find it.

I will tell my shit story again.

I had eaten something that didnt agree with me like a double burrito with cheese and halopenas.
There are certain places I can eat and for whatever reason, well you know the rest.

It was a sunny day out and I was enjoying a nice walk. I decided to stop in a mall at a Macy's. Just as I enter the store , I feel a gurgling in my stomach. I have felt that before and it has never been a good thing.

I do not like to use public restrooms to shit.

I hate it. And if I do I got to spread out the toilet paper on both sides of the seat before I sit down .

So now I know I got to find a bathroom and I am close to doing the dirty in my pants. I ask a sales clerk where the bathrooms are and I must have had the look on my face as she pointed frantically in the general direction. I didnt even listen and make a bee line for where she is pointing.

I finally spot the sign and by now I am at a trot. The kind of trot where your holding your shit in and still running with your legs together.

I slam open the bathroom door so hard that booms down the hall and into the mall area.

I am moving fast like a robot now, trying to get in the stall. I am close to nuclear fission explosive at this point.

I push open the stall door and get my pants down.
As I turn around I remember the toilet cover is needed. I grab the toilet paper and carefully set it on both sides of the seat.

Finally I quickly sit down and as I do the wind from my ass blows the paper off the seat and I am sitting there on cold plastic.

The volcanic eruption was next, and it came then with such force that it blew a backdraft of debris up and covered my ass.

Damn I love shit storys.

 

[Mr. Poon]

On this topic, nothing can top the George Brett video. There are so many good quotes in this clip:

"I'm good about twice a year for that"

"The most perfect double tapered shit of my life. True story. Who's the pitchers in this game?"

http://www.sportsjungle.com/view.php?i=742

 

[ppabart]

One of the cardinal rules of getting older.....

NEVER trust a fart!

 

[layinwood]

DTB, thank you very much for the great start to my morning. I had a good belly laugh reading your story.

I have a story as well but it's not a shart story. Mine is due to IBS I get about once a year and for anyone that has ever had it you will know you don't have much time.

 

[jr11]

I was like around 20 years old, caddying in the PA Womens Amateur event at one of the CC here in Western PA. I got all boozed up the night before and knew I would be in trouble on the course. Long story short, I made it 7 holes, drop the poor ladies bag as we were out in two-somes/the other choose a cart, ran across the street and shit in some rich guy's well landscaped shrubs. It was a mansion, and to boot after the explosion shot all over the place, I wiped myself with the caddie shirt and left it there, including my boxers. Return to my car, sped home, cleaned up, and made it back to pick the loop up at 10. Hey, I got my $50for the round. One more thing, the guys house was the CEO of a pretty well known place.

jr11

 

[Julene]

Ah DTB I am laughing while typing this. Ah that was funny.

Ive done it twice in my life, couldnt clean up either time. Just went with the flow. Had wicked rash both times. I think I still have those undies somewhere also.

Life goes on

But it was in Canada, so it was still better than living in the U.S., right?

 

[Agent 0659]

Nothing bad......Grilled Chicken Sandwich some fries.........Pepsi

You don't know much about nutrition do ya:mj07: