Worst golfer....me! Among the things I have hit...
∙ From the white tees, I nailed the red tee marker 15 yards away, breaking it in half;
∙ I've hit a ball-washer;
∙ I've hit golf carts;
∙ I've hit the roof of snack shop on the course;
∙ Similar to a story above, I hit a guy's golf bag, with the owner of the bag standing right behind it. He didn't have to duck to avoid getting hit, but he may have lost a testicle if not for that golf bag;
∙ I have hit a shot INTO a friend's golf bag. He left it lying on the ground next to the green, and though it should have been nowhere near being in play, I managed to hit my approach right into the bag;
∙ I've hit a drive almost 100 yards straight backwards. Hitting the ball off the tee (and probably teed up too high), I undercut it so much and so thin that it popped up almost straight up, but only slightly higher than my head. At the top of my swing, the club face then caught the ball again...and the ball goes rocketing backwards, over the shrubs behind me and over the previous green. Penalty stroke for the double hit and now I'm 100 yards behind the tee for shot #3! ;
∙ I've hit a ball into a bird's nest;
∙ I had one round where I overshot the green on a Par 5, landing the ball on the green of the next hole, a Par 3. Then, teeing off on that Par 3, I sliced my drive up and into a tree...only to have it drop right out of the tree and right onto the green of that previous Par 5;
∙ First hole of one club I played at, the clubhouse runs down the right side of the fairway. 12-foot wide pane glass windows all the way along, with foot-long brick pillars in between the panes. Sliced a ball screaming towards the club house. Hit a brick pillar and breathed a HUGE sigh of relief.
Those are the ones that come to mind at the moment. I've got a LOT of distance, but no control over my distance or when it will suddenly appear, and pretty much no control over the direction of my ball either!