Why Athletes Can't Have Real Jobs

[Chopsticks]

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
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New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
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And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
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Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
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Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
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Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to
graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)
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Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
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Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
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Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawk's left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
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Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
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Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
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Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
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Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
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Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too ugly to kiss good-by."

 

[cisco]

Mickey Rivers' Words Of Wisdom About Baseball




"Me and George and Billy are two of a kind."

-Baseball player Mickey Rivers, on his relationship with George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin

"My goals are to hit .300, score 100 runs, and stay injury-prone."

-Mickey Rivers


"Out of what, a thousand?"

Mickey Rivers, responding to teammate Reggie Jackson's claim he had an IQ of 160.

"Pitching is 80% of the game and the other half is hitting and fielding"

-Mickey Rivers

"No wonder you're all mixed up. You got a white man's first name, a Spanish man's second name and a black man's third name."

-Mickey made this comment to Reginald Martinez Jackson in July of 1977

"You'd better stop readin' and writin' and start hittin' ! "

-Mickey Rivers' quip back at Reggie Jackson when Jackson told Rivers, in front of reporters, that he should learn how to read and write

"I'm going to double my limit."

-Mickey Rivers' response to a 1975 interview question asking him how many bases he was going to steal that season.

"I was eating too well and getting too much rest. I take my old lady dancing every night now. Doin' the bump keeps your legs in shape."

-Mickey Rivers' response to a 1975 interview question of why he started playing better

"He's so ugly. When you walked by him, your pants wrinkle. He made fly balls curve foul."

-Mickey Rivers on former Major Leaguer Danny Napoleon's looks

"He is so ugly he should have to wear an oxygen mask."

-Mickey Rivers on teammate Cliff Johnson's looks

"I might have to commute. You know, left field, DH, wherever."

-Mickey Rivers

"The first thing you do when you get out to center field is put up your finger and check the wind-chill factor."

-Mickey Rivers

"The wind was blowin' about 100 degrees"

-Mickey Rivers' response to the wind in the outfield at Chicago's Comiskey Park

"I was brought up in Florida, so there isn't much difference between playing there and playing here. The climax are about the same."

-Mickey Rivers on playing in Texas

"He was lost out there. He was the Lost Mohegan."

-Mickey Rivers on a teammate who just played his first game

"I felt alone out there, like I was on a desert island. I felt like Gilligan."

-Mickey Rivers' response to playing left field for the first time

"I've been doing my 2 1/2 miles every day and I've gained 2 pounds. My stomach is getting smaller but my butt's getting bigger."

-Mickey Rivers in response to the Texas Rangers training methods of 1981

"I like playing on this team. We actually been doin' real good. Got a different mix here. Most important thing is you gotta keep pickin' up in paces. That's why we're playing contentious play. We got top names, guys can still hit in the majors, guys been out of the game hittin' the ball, shockin' it. Don't have no old, old guys. Not sayin' they don't get a good job done. Fact is, they've been vice versa. So that's incentive right there. It's been a plus."

-Mickey Rivers commenting on his teammates in the SPBL in 1989

"I threw about 90% fastballs and sliders, 50% fastballs and 50 % sliders...I'm starting to sound like Mickey Rivers."

-John Butcher, former Texas Rangers Pitcher

"These guys are so old they're eligible for meals on wheels."

-Mickey Rivers commenting on the age of Texas Rangers teammates Bill Stein and Larry Bittner

"That felt good. I hadn't hit off a lefty in two months."

-Mickey Rivers' post game comment after hitting a double off of Boston Red Sox right handed pitcher Bob Stanley

 

[IntenseOperator]

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawk's left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
QUOTE]


:142lmao:

 

[IntenseOperator]

"He's so ugly. When you walked by him, your pants wrinkle. He made fly balls curve foul."

-Mickey Rivers on former Major Leaguer Danny Napoleon's looks

:142lmao: :142lmao:

 

[trolln4walii]

Some funny chit. Thanks guys. Really laughed at the Metcalf and Bum Phillips quotes :142lmao:


and Mickey Rivers....what can you say :142lmao: