Doggy gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare
his morning coffee. The water is clean and safe because some tree-hugging
liberal fought for maximum water-quality standards.
With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His
medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to
insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical
plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid
medical insurance - and now Doggy gets it, too.
He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Doggy's bacon is safe
to eat because some girlie-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the
meat-packing industry.
In the morning shower, Doggy reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is
properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents
because some crybaby granola liberal fought for his right to know what he
was putting on his body.
Doggy dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air is clean
because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop
industries from polluting our atmosphere.
He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to
work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees
because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public
transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Doggy begins his work day. He has a good job with good pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some commie leftist
union members fought and died for these working standards.
Doggy's employer pays these standards because Doggy's employer doesn't
want his employees to call the union. If Doggy is hurt on the job or becomes
unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because
some ridiculous liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his
temporary misfortune.
It's noontime and Doggy needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Doggy's deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some godless
liberal wanted to protect Doggy's money from unscrupulous bankers who gamed
the banking system just before the Great Depression.
Doggy has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his
below-market federal student loan because some liberal whiner decided that
Doggy and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned
more money over his lifetime.
Doggy is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at
his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is
among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal traitor
fought for car safety standards.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live
in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't
want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some
big-government liberal (FDR) stuck his nose where it didn't belong and
created the rural electrification act.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
quiche-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Doggy
wouldn't have to.
Doggy gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives
are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved conservative Republicans
fought against every protection and benefit Doggy enjoys throughout his day.
Doggy agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our
lives! After all, I'm a self-made man! All Americans should take care of
themselves, just as I have.
his morning coffee. The water is clean and safe because some tree-hugging
liberal fought for maximum water-quality standards.
With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His
medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to
insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical
plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid
medical insurance - and now Doggy gets it, too.
He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Doggy's bacon is safe
to eat because some girlie-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the
meat-packing industry.
In the morning shower, Doggy reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is
properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents
because some crybaby granola liberal fought for his right to know what he
was putting on his body.
Doggy dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air is clean
because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop
industries from polluting our atmosphere.
He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to
work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees
because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public
transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Doggy begins his work day. He has a good job with good pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some commie leftist
union members fought and died for these working standards.
Doggy's employer pays these standards because Doggy's employer doesn't
want his employees to call the union. If Doggy is hurt on the job or becomes
unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because
some ridiculous liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his
temporary misfortune.
It's noontime and Doggy needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Doggy's deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some godless
liberal wanted to protect Doggy's money from unscrupulous bankers who gamed
the banking system just before the Great Depression.
Doggy has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his
below-market federal student loan because some liberal whiner decided that
Doggy and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned
more money over his lifetime.
Doggy is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at
his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is
among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal traitor
fought for car safety standards.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live
in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't
want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some
big-government liberal (FDR) stuck his nose where it didn't belong and
created the rural electrification act.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
quiche-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Doggy
wouldn't have to.
Doggy gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives
are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved conservative Republicans
fought against every protection and benefit Doggy enjoys throughout his day.
Doggy agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our
lives! After all, I'm a self-made man! All Americans should take care of
themselves, just as I have.
