~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MEMORIES
A little house with three bedrooms and one car on the street,
A mower that you had to push to make the grass look neat.
In the kitchen on the wall we only had one phone, And no
need for recording things, someone was always home.
We only had a living room where we would congregate,
Unless it was at mealtime in the kitchen where we ate.
We had no need for family rooms or extra rooms to dine,
When meeting as a family those two rooms would work
out fine.
We only had one TV set, and channels maybe two, But
always there was one of them with something worth
the view.
For snacks we had potato chips that tasted like a chip,
And if you wanted flavor there was Lipton's onion dip.
Store-bought snacks were rare because my mother liked
to cook, And nothing can compare to snacks in Betty
Crocker's book.
The snacks were even healthy with the best ingredients,
No labels with a hundred things that make not a bit of sense.
Weekends were for family trips or staying home to play,
We all did things together -- even go to church to pray.
When we did our weekend trips depending on the weather,
No one stayed at home because we liked to be together.
Sometimes we would separate to do things on our own,
But we knew where the others were without our own
cell phone.
Then there were the movies with your favorite movie star,
And nothing can compare to watching movies in your car.
Then there were the picnics at the peak of summer season,
Pack a lunch and find some trees and never need a reason.
Get a baseball game together with all the friends you know,
Have real action playing ball -- and no game video.
Remember when the doctor used to be the family friend,
And didn't need insurance or a lawyer to defend?
The way that he took care of you or what he had to do,
Because he took an oath and strived to do the best for you.
Remember going to the store and shopping casually, And
when you went to pay for it you used your own money?
Nothing that you had to swipe or punch in some amount,
Remember when the cashier person had to really count?
Remember when we breathed the air; it smelled so fresh
and clean, And chemicals were not used on the grass to
keep it green.
The milkman used to go from door to door, And it was just
a few cents more than going to the store.
There was a time when mailed letters came right to your
door, Without a lot of junk mail ads sent out by every store.
The mailman knew each house by name and knew where it
was sent; There were not loads of mail addressed to
"occupant."
Remember when the words "I do" meant that you really
did, And not just temporarily 'til someone blows their lid.
T'was no such thing as "no one's fault; we just made a
mistake," There was a time when married life was
built on give and take.
There was a time when just one glance was all that it
would take, And you would know the kind of car, the
model and the make.
They didn't look like turtles trying to squeeze out every
mile; They were streamlined, white walls, fins, and
really had some style.
One time the music that you played whenever you would
jive, Was from a vinyl, big-holed record called a forty-five.
The record player had a post to keep them all in line, And
then the records would drop down and play one at a time.
Oh sure, we had our problems then, just like we do today,
And always we were striving, trying for a better way.
And every year that passed us by brought new and greater
things, We now can even program phones with music or with rings.
Oh, the simple life we lived still seems like so much fun,
How can you explain a game, just kick the can and run?
And why would boys put baseball cards between bicycle
spokes, And for a nickel red machines had little bottled Cokes?
This life seemed so much easier and slower in some ways,
I love the new technology but I sure miss those days.
So time moves on and so do we, and nothing stays the same,
But I sure love to reminisce and walk down memory lane.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those
responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, DC.
But, I'm over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day,
leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier.
If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into ubmission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?" An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly. An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys
get up early (to pee).
If old guys are captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like
them almost better than naps. They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one." And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun
a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, to wear pants without the top of the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out, to learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 200-watt speaker in the back seat! of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to
keep our sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible death. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.
Share this with your senior friends
MEMORIES
A little house with three bedrooms and one car on the street,
A mower that you had to push to make the grass look neat.
In the kitchen on the wall we only had one phone, And no
need for recording things, someone was always home.
We only had a living room where we would congregate,
Unless it was at mealtime in the kitchen where we ate.
We had no need for family rooms or extra rooms to dine,
When meeting as a family those two rooms would work
out fine.
We only had one TV set, and channels maybe two, But
always there was one of them with something worth
the view.
For snacks we had potato chips that tasted like a chip,
And if you wanted flavor there was Lipton's onion dip.
Store-bought snacks were rare because my mother liked
to cook, And nothing can compare to snacks in Betty
Crocker's book.
The snacks were even healthy with the best ingredients,
No labels with a hundred things that make not a bit of sense.
Weekends were for family trips or staying home to play,
We all did things together -- even go to church to pray.
When we did our weekend trips depending on the weather,
No one stayed at home because we liked to be together.
Sometimes we would separate to do things on our own,
But we knew where the others were without our own
cell phone.
Then there were the movies with your favorite movie star,
And nothing can compare to watching movies in your car.
Then there were the picnics at the peak of summer season,
Pack a lunch and find some trees and never need a reason.
Get a baseball game together with all the friends you know,
Have real action playing ball -- and no game video.
Remember when the doctor used to be the family friend,
And didn't need insurance or a lawyer to defend?
The way that he took care of you or what he had to do,
Because he took an oath and strived to do the best for you.
Remember going to the store and shopping casually, And
when you went to pay for it you used your own money?
Nothing that you had to swipe or punch in some amount,
Remember when the cashier person had to really count?
Remember when we breathed the air; it smelled so fresh
and clean, And chemicals were not used on the grass to
keep it green.
The milkman used to go from door to door, And it was just
a few cents more than going to the store.
There was a time when mailed letters came right to your
door, Without a lot of junk mail ads sent out by every store.
The mailman knew each house by name and knew where it
was sent; There were not loads of mail addressed to
"occupant."
Remember when the words "I do" meant that you really
did, And not just temporarily 'til someone blows their lid.
T'was no such thing as "no one's fault; we just made a
mistake," There was a time when married life was
built on give and take.
There was a time when just one glance was all that it
would take, And you would know the kind of car, the
model and the make.
They didn't look like turtles trying to squeeze out every
mile; They were streamlined, white walls, fins, and
really had some style.
One time the music that you played whenever you would
jive, Was from a vinyl, big-holed record called a forty-five.
The record player had a post to keep them all in line, And
then the records would drop down and play one at a time.
Oh sure, we had our problems then, just like we do today,
And always we were striving, trying for a better way.
And every year that passed us by brought new and greater
things, We now can even program phones with music or with rings.
Oh, the simple life we lived still seems like so much fun,
How can you explain a game, just kick the can and run?
And why would boys put baseball cards between bicycle
spokes, And for a nickel red machines had little bottled Cokes?
This life seemed so much easier and slower in some ways,
I love the new technology but I sure miss those days.
So time moves on and so do we, and nothing stays the same,
But I sure love to reminisce and walk down memory lane.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those
responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington, DC.
But, I'm over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day,
leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier.
If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into ubmission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?" An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly. An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys
get up early (to pee).
If old guys are captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like
them almost better than naps. They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one." And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun
a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, to wear pants without the top of the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out, to learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 200-watt speaker in the back seat! of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to
keep our sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sending them off to a possible death. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.
Share this with your senior friends
