wife- paranoid or justified concern?

[BBB]

OK I work in the oilfield and come home one week a month and see my wife and three kids. Well recently I've noticed my wife's co-workwr has been texting her a lot. Typically this wouldn't phase me. But here is what I find kind of odd. Two weeks ago he was on vacation, and during his vacation he was texting my wife that he was going golfing, had just finished up his flower bed project, headed to the mall. Weird but whatever.

Then I called my wife last Saturday night and she is babysitting his two young girls while I assume he is out with his wife. OK that is weird. This Guy is married too, just had his thirds kid.

But the frequency and amount of texting just seems a bit high to me. Yes they work in the same office, yes they going a group to lunch multiple times each week, but the texts about his new kid, traffic on a Saturday, just random shit seems a bit odd. So is this normal or justifiable concern?

 

[canuckfan77]

I think it's completely justified, a few years ago I watched this happen with a very close friend. It was different as the the man his wife (befriended) was single but, she was babysitting his kid and things progressed from there. At the very least him texting her while he's on vacation is inappropriate.

 

[The Boys]

Dr. Laura would say it's highly inappropriate and I would have to agree. Seriously now I want you to ask yourself this question, doesn't something smell fishy to you? I bet it does?

 

[The Joker]

Texting between coworkers is not uncommon anymore.


But what you describe is crossing the line.

 

[canuckfan77]

Texting between coworkers is not uncommon anymore.


But what you describe is crossing the line.

Agreed.

 

[Skulnik]

I don't Text or do facebook, is she getting Texts or does she get Facebook updates on her phone, that would determine how I would think about it.

:0008

 

[BBB]

Texting between coworkers is not uncommon anymore.


But what you describe is crossing the line.

See I think so too that that is crossing the line. I just don't know how to figure out how to verify my suspicions or see if this is just normal co-worker behavior in her mindset

 

[BBB]

I don't Text or do facebook, is she getting Texts or does she get Facebook updates on her phone, that would determine how I would think about it.

:0008

She texts him and vice versa. I dont ccheck her Facebook since her whole family is on there and didn't think she would post anything so obvious

 

[BBB]

Dr. Laura would say it's highly inappropriate and I would have to agree. Seriously now I want you to ask yourself this question, doesn't something smell fishy to you? I bet it does?

It does but what can I do to see if tthere is more to this or its just a co-worker friendly thing?

 

[hedgehog]

JUSTIFIED CONCERN MY FRIEND

He is unhappy at home and your gone working. Check phone records and see if they are talking late at night when your gone, also check facebook, emails and see if there is anything going on there. I would do some investigation if it was me.

is her cell phone locked, do you have access to cell phone records? Find out passwords for email and facebook. check them when your gone :0074

 

[hedgehog]

Texting between coworkers is not uncommon anymore.


But what you describe is crossing the line.

:SIB this is how it all starts, I know very well

 

[BBB]

JUSTIFIED CONCERN MY FRIEND

He is unhappy at home and your gone working. Check phone records and see if they are talking late at night when your gone, also check facebook, emails and see if there is anything going on there. I would do some investigation if it was me.

I can't get phone records, her cell phone is a company phone. I checked her personal email and didn't see anything. What else could I do?

Heck this seems so odd,we have a 5 ye old 3 ye old and my wife is due in 2 months. Heck and this Guy just had a kid two months ago.

 

[JOSHNAUDI]

Let me start off by saying it is just about impossible to type, your wife is lonely, without sounding like a dick. Please know that I'm trying not to be a dick here and it is obviously something that you care about and are looking for genuine advice.

What is the goal?
Do you want to catch her or prevent it from happening? I'm assuming you want to prevent it from happening.

Looks like you caught it before anything has happened but the path they are heading down is not going to end well.

She's lonely, He's horny. Fuck him, we don't give two shits about him.

I think if I was writing a Lifetime, Television for Women after school special, the scene would be.

You get home for one of your weeks off, Get a babysitter and take her out for a nice dinner. You then tell her you know how hard it must be for her to have to run everything while you're off working. You're afraid that you are losing her emotionally and the text messages to her coworker has you concerned.

Re-confirm your vows to her as a loving husband and that your hard work rough necking is so that y'all can have the things that you want for your family. Maybe try to make the date night a permanent occurrence.

Best of Luck man.

 

[hedgehog]

I can't get phone records, her cell phone is a company phone. I checked her personal email and didn't see anything. What else could I do?

Heck this seems so odd,we have a 5 ye old 3 ye old and my wife is due in 2 months. Heck and this Guy just had a kid two months ago.

maybe its nothing but friendship...is her phone locked? does she have a facebook account? Check there too :shrug: I learned the hard way and I am now divorced. I am just looking out for you my friend, just check it out...:0074

 

[BBB]

JUSTIFIED CONCERN MY FRIEND

He is unhappy at home and your gone working. Check phone records and see if they are talking late at night when your gone, also check facebook, emails and see if there is anything going on there. I would do some investigation if it was me.

is her cell phone locked, do you have access to cell phone records? Find out passwords for email and facebook. check them when your gone :0074

Her iPhone isn't locked she leaves it laying around from time to time

 

[The Joker]

What would Clint Eastwood do?

 

[BBB]

maybe its nothing but friendship...is her phone locked? does she have a facebook account? Check there too :shrug: I learned the hard way and I am now divorced. I am just looking out for you my friend, just check it out...:0074

What do I check on Facebook? How do iget access to herFacebook. Account?

 

[Jaxx]

Texting between coworkers is not uncommon anymore.


But what you describe is crossing the line.

Agreed and your suspicions are justified 100%. I was in the same boat as you in the oilfield 20 years ago with a similar thing going on (not texting) and it did not turn out well. All situations are different as is the persons involved but.........

RED FLAG!!!!!

 

[Mr. Poon]

Let me start off by saying it is just about impossible to type, your wife is lonely, without sounding like a dick. Please know that I'm trying not to be a dick here and it is obviously something that you care about and are looking for genuine advice.

What is the goal?
Do you want to catch her or prevent it from happening? I'm assuming you want to prevent it from happening.

Looks like you caught it before anything has happened but the path they are heading down is not going to end well.

She's lonely, He's horny. Fuck him, we don't give two shits about him.

I think if I was writing a Lifetime, Television for Women after school special, the scene would be.

You get home for one of your weeks off, Get a babysitter and take her out for a nice dinner. You then tell her you know how hard it must be for her to have to run everything while you're off working. You're afraid that you are losing her emotionally and the text messages to her coworker has you concerned.

Re-confirm your vows to her as a loving husband and that your hard work rough necking is so that y'all can have the things that you want for your family. Maybe try to make the date night a permanent occurrence.

Best of Luck man.

now this is one of your best posts.

 

[The Boys]

JUSTIFIED CONCERN MY FRIEND

He is unhappy at home and your gone working. Check phone records and see if they are talking late at night when your gone, also check facebook, emails and see if there is anything going on there. I would do some investigation if it was me.

is her cell phone locked, do you have access to cell phone records? Find out passwords for email and facebook. check them when your gone :0074

I'm with hedgehog on this..........