Things You Won't Hear a Woman Say:
1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
2. I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!
3. This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang.
4. Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wet spot.
5. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.
6. That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?
7. I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby-sitter Tracy.
8. "You're my Daddy! You're my Daddy!"
9. The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
10. Honey, did you leave that skid mark in the toilet bowl? - Ha, Ha, Ha!
11. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
12. Bar food again!? Kick ass.
13. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
14. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.
15. I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.
16. I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine's day gift!
17. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
18. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?
19. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.
20. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila shot off of Linda's bare ass!
21. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.
22. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.
23. I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!
24. You are so much smarter than my father.
25. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter.
The Perfect Woman
The Perfect Woman would say:
1. I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.
2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. I'm bored. Let's shave my p*ssy!
4. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porn film,a crate of beer, and have my friend over for a threesome!
5. God. if I don't get to blow you soon, I'll kill myself!
6. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?
7. You're so sexy when you're hung over.
8. I'd rather watch you and your mates watch sports and serve the beers than go shopping.
9. Let's subscribe to the Porn channels.
10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
11. Let's go shopping so you can look at women's arses
12. I love it when you watch football on Saturday, I just wish you had time to watch on Sunday too.
13. Darling, our new neighbour's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!
14.I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
15. Do me a favour, forget the stupid Valentine's day thing and buy yourself new gadgets.
17. That was a great fart! Do another one!
18. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for you.
1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
2. I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!
3. This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang.
4. Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wet spot.
5. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.
6. That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?
7. I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby-sitter Tracy.
8. "You're my Daddy! You're my Daddy!"
9. The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
10. Honey, did you leave that skid mark in the toilet bowl? - Ha, Ha, Ha!
11. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
12. Bar food again!? Kick ass.
13. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.
14. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.
15. I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.
16. I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine's day gift!
17. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
18. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?
19. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.
20. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila shot off of Linda's bare ass!
21. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.
22. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.
23. I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!
24. You are so much smarter than my father.
25. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter.
The Perfect Woman
The Perfect Woman would say:
1. I'll swallow it all . . . I love the taste.
2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
3. I'm bored. Let's shave my p*ssy!
4. Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porn film,a crate of beer, and have my friend over for a threesome!
5. God. if I don't get to blow you soon, I'll kill myself!
6. I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?
7. You're so sexy when you're hung over.
8. I'd rather watch you and your mates watch sports and serve the beers than go shopping.
9. Let's subscribe to the Porn channels.
10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?
11. Let's go shopping so you can look at women's arses
12. I love it when you watch football on Saturday, I just wish you had time to watch on Sunday too.
13. Darling, our new neighbour's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!
14.I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
15. Do me a favour, forget the stupid Valentine's day thing and buy yourself new gadgets.
17. That was a great fart! Do another one!
18. I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for you.
