I woke up this mornin' with the sundown shinin' in
I found my mind in a brown paper bag within
I tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high
I tore my mind on a jagged sky
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
What up?
DEN +1.5 @ CHI 41
Denver is the better team and they're improving. Chicago is again two games under .500 and they're quitting. Broncos roll, Bears roll over.
DENVER +1.5
TEN -1.5 @ CIN 46.5
Speakina quitting ... Welcome to Cincinnati! The Titans fast start keeps their target of the playoffs in front of them. The Bengals huge egos keep the targets on their backs.
TENNESSEE -1.5
BUF +8.5 @ JAX 36
The Cow Pow numbers make this J'ville by 10, but they find themselves in a huge letdown situation. Mix in the loss of MLB Mike Peterson and Buff's embarrassment last week and you've got yourself a cocktail I like to call "Upset".
BUFFALO +8.5
OAK+6 @ KC 34.5
Backing Oakland these days is tougher than the special at Sizzler. They are 23-51-1 ATS in their llast 75 games! The word "yuck" comes to mind. Or something similar, if'n yuz catch my drift. Nevertheless (hey, big words is how I roll), favorites that can't control the line of scrimmage rarely cop the coin. It's tough, but in case you've forgotten... I'm a tough guy.
OAKLAND +6
I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole and then I followed it in
I watched myself crawlin' out as I was a-crawlin' in
I got up so tight I couldn't unwind
I saw so much I broke my mind
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
HOU +4 @ CLE 51
Houston gets Andre Johnson back and the Brownies just had a 30 slapped on 'em by Kyle Boller. The aformentioned line of scrimmage thingy pertains here as well.
HOUSTON +4
SEA -3 @ STL 44.5
I understand that it was NO and SF, but home dogs with momentum always get my attention. The Seahawks, it seems to me, are about as reliable as a poker machine. You like dags? Dags! You like dags?
ST LOUIS +3
MIN +7 @ NYG 41
The purple will definitely control the lines. Speakina lines... this one is, like me, too high.
MINNESOTA +7
NO -3 @ CAR 41
Only a drunken idiot would spend two hours handicapping this somniferous engagement. So, take it from me. This game is void of any (hic) value.
PASADENA
WAS +3 @ TB 38
Psst. Keep this little tidbit under your lid. Ya saavy? The TB Bucs are the league's most underrated team. Now, don't say I never gave yuz nuthin'.
TAMPA BAY -3
SF +10.5 @ AZ 39
What?! Zona layin' double-digits? There's somethin' you don't see every day. I think the Patriots are makin' the lines bigger everywhere. They're the "Vimax" of the NFL!
SAN FRANCISCO +10.5
Someone painted "April Fool" in big black letters on a "Dead End" sign
I had my foot on the gas as I left the road and blew out my mind
Eight miles outta Memphis and I got no spare
Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
BAL +10 @ SD 38.5
This number musta taken a double-dose of them pills. I ain't sure the Bolts should be 10 over anybody these days. And the Rave is still pretty decent. I mean, they're decent, ain't they, Jack? I am gobblin' these points like they was 3-day old giblets.
BALTIMORE +10
PHI +23 @ NE 50.5
Ladies and gentlemen, a pointspread so humumongous that it makes Barry Bonds' head seem normal by comparison. If you learn only one thing from our time together here today, I beseech you, let it be this... Lay the women, take the points. Like, moo.
I said I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
Yeah yeah oh-yeah
BARTENDER!
I found my mind in a brown paper bag within
I tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high
I tore my mind on a jagged sky
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
What up?
DEN +1.5 @ CHI 41
Denver is the better team and they're improving. Chicago is again two games under .500 and they're quitting. Broncos roll, Bears roll over.
DENVER +1.5
TEN -1.5 @ CIN 46.5
Speakina quitting ... Welcome to Cincinnati! The Titans fast start keeps their target of the playoffs in front of them. The Bengals huge egos keep the targets on their backs.
TENNESSEE -1.5
BUF +8.5 @ JAX 36
The Cow Pow numbers make this J'ville by 10, but they find themselves in a huge letdown situation. Mix in the loss of MLB Mike Peterson and Buff's embarrassment last week and you've got yourself a cocktail I like to call "Upset".
BUFFALO +8.5
OAK+6 @ KC 34.5
Backing Oakland these days is tougher than the special at Sizzler. They are 23-51-1 ATS in their llast 75 games! The word "yuck" comes to mind. Or something similar, if'n yuz catch my drift. Nevertheless (hey, big words is how I roll), favorites that can't control the line of scrimmage rarely cop the coin. It's tough, but in case you've forgotten... I'm a tough guy.
OAKLAND +6
I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole and then I followed it in
I watched myself crawlin' out as I was a-crawlin' in
I got up so tight I couldn't unwind
I saw so much I broke my mind
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
HOU +4 @ CLE 51
Houston gets Andre Johnson back and the Brownies just had a 30 slapped on 'em by Kyle Boller. The aformentioned line of scrimmage thingy pertains here as well.
HOUSTON +4
SEA -3 @ STL 44.5
I understand that it was NO and SF, but home dogs with momentum always get my attention. The Seahawks, it seems to me, are about as reliable as a poker machine. You like dags? Dags! You like dags?
ST LOUIS +3
MIN +7 @ NYG 41
The purple will definitely control the lines. Speakina lines... this one is, like me, too high.
MINNESOTA +7
NO -3 @ CAR 41
Only a drunken idiot would spend two hours handicapping this somniferous engagement. So, take it from me. This game is void of any (hic) value.
PASADENA
WAS +3 @ TB 38
Psst. Keep this little tidbit under your lid. Ya saavy? The TB Bucs are the league's most underrated team. Now, don't say I never gave yuz nuthin'.
TAMPA BAY -3
SF +10.5 @ AZ 39
What?! Zona layin' double-digits? There's somethin' you don't see every day. I think the Patriots are makin' the lines bigger everywhere. They're the "Vimax" of the NFL!
SAN FRANCISCO +10.5
Someone painted "April Fool" in big black letters on a "Dead End" sign
I had my foot on the gas as I left the road and blew out my mind
Eight miles outta Memphis and I got no spare
Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
BAL +10 @ SD 38.5
This number musta taken a double-dose of them pills. I ain't sure the Bolts should be 10 over anybody these days. And the Rave is still pretty decent. I mean, they're decent, ain't they, Jack? I am gobblin' these points like they was 3-day old giblets.
BALTIMORE +10
PHI +23 @ NE 50.5
Ladies and gentlemen, a pointspread so humumongous that it makes Barry Bonds' head seem normal by comparison. If you learn only one thing from our time together here today, I beseech you, let it be this... Lay the women, take the points. Like, moo.
I said I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
Yeah yeah oh-yeah
BARTENDER!
