You stink!

[yyz]

So I'm on the ol tread mill at the gym tonight. Get about 4:00 into my groove, and this schlub hops the ride next to me.

Now, he was in the locker room when I got there, and camped out right next to my locker. I managed to get dressed quicker than him, and out I went.

Well, at any rate, he sidles up to me, and WHAM! I get an instant shot of funk right in the old snot locker! I mean it was an olfactory assault the likes of which I can hardly describe.

At first.....I thought it was farm scent. Little bit of alfalfa and buckwheat gone bad on a hot summer's day. I tried to tough it off. After a few more seconds, I realized it was just plain old nasty dirty gym bag funk! Not normal B.O...... But the odoriferous "WTF?" that comes with "workout" clothing worn time and time again without washing!!!!

I've seen this cat at the club before, and I'll tell you.......He sweats like a University of Miami Afalete at a Dade County rape line-up.

Now, what would possess this turd to wear the same duds more than once without washing is beyond me, but I have not smelled anything like that since junior high gym class! In a fit of sensory panic, my mind locked up and trailed off at the same moment. The only idea I could come up with to combat the smell, was to speed up the pace of my machine as if to try and outrun it!

I need not tell you it didn't work. This momentary lapse was quickly snapped backed into check, and I decided I could no longer nose the smell of this ogre. I stopped my machine a mere 6:30 into my workout by slamming the STOP button with jarring force. I stormed off of the machine, and headed to the locker room.

I was ready to stick my face in the dirty towel bin, just to shake the stench from my nostrils! I was now living that Seinfeld episode with the valet parking guy who polluted the car! I mean......I could STILL smell this fukker on MY CLOTHES!

Ok.....I was all prepared to go back out and re-start my workout, but now I'm saddled with the prospect of people thinking I smell like sock boy, too!

Fukk it. I hauled ass home, and hopped in the shower.

I finally feel some semblance of normalcy again, but I know I will see this oaf again tomorrow...........Gadzooks! I might just piss in his locker, now that I know where it is. On second thought......maybe someone's beat me to it?

 

[1%er]

 

[The Sponge]

So I'm on the ol tread mill at the gym tonight. Get about 4:00 into my groove, and this schlub hops the ride next to me.

Now, he was in the locker room when I got there, and camped out right next to my locker. I managed to get dressed quicker than him, and out I went.

Well, at any rate, he sidles up to me, and WHAM! I get an instant shot of funk right in the old snot locker! I mean it was an olfactory assault the likes of which I can hardly describe.

At first.....I thought it was farm scent. Little bit of alfalfa and buckwheat gone bad on a hot summer's day. I tried to tough it off. After a few more seconds, I realized it was just plain old nasty dirty gym bag funk! Not normal B.O...... But the odoriferous "WTF?" that comes with "workout" clothing worn time and time again without washing!!!!

I've seen this cat at the club before, and I'll tell you.......He sweats like a University of Miami Afalete at a Dade County rape line-up.

Now, what would possess this turd to wear the same duds more than once without washing is beyond me, but I have not smelled anything like that since junior high gym class! In a fit of sensory panic, my mind locked up and trailed off at the same moment. The only idea I could come up with to combat the smell, was to speed up the pace of my machine as if to try and outrun it!

I need not tell you it didn't work. This momentary lapse was quickly snapped backed into check, and I decided I could no longer nose the smell of this ogre. I stopped my machine a mere 6:30 into my workout by slamming the STOP button with jarring force. I stormed off of the machine, and headed to the locker room.

I was ready to stick my face in the dirty towel bin, just to shake the stench from my nostrils! I was now living that Seinfeld episode with the valet parking guy who polluted the car! I mean......I could STILL smell this fukker on MY CLOTHES!

Ok.....I was all prepared to go back out and re-start my workout, but now I'm saddled with the prospect of people thinking I smell like sock boy, too!

Fukk it. I hauled ass home, and hopped in the shower.

I finally feel some semblance of normalcy again, but I know I will see this oaf again tomorrow...........Gadzooks! I might just piss in his locker, now that I know where it is. On second thought......maybe someone's beat me to it?

:142smilie

These type of people are priceless. I worked with a guy who came into work at 7 am and stunk like B.o. and when it was lunchtime five hours later he stunk like garbage. I just had a dry heave thinking about this recollection you so kindly brought back to me.

 

[Morris]

Call the guy out..embarass him in front of everyone..You don't even know the guy, so who cares, he probably won't ever show up again. I'm sure you're not the only person who noticed this. You'll be the hero. GL

 

[IntenseOperator]

He's probably from France

 

[Morris]

He's probably from France

:mj07: :mj07:

 

[Blackman]

Happened at my gym -- guy became notorious and was finally asked to leave by management. There were so many complaints the gym owner felt forced to revoke the membership.

 

[dawgball]

I used to play ball during lunchtime with a group of guys. One of the guys that played was the same way. There are some ABSOLUTE facts about these people:

1. They sweat more than a human is supposed to
2. It's always a big man. Can't be some little ****er at the point where I can keep my distance. If it was, he can shoot jumpers all day on me because I ain't getting near him. BUT NO! Gotta be a post guy. Bumping and rubbing all freaking game.
3. They are always loud breathers! Som of a bitch. Buy a ****ing inhaler or something. I have a plumbing snake at home if you need some help with that.
4. They play hard. Can't just once, the smelly guy be the one cherry picking? **** it. Let him score, just don't chase me down the damn court!

Thanks, yyz, for bringing that nightmare back to memory.

 

[The Sponge]

we had another guy who worked with us that was a way to serious hunter. He wouldn't use any type of soap during hunting season. Guy use to make animal noises on the job and you thought their was an animal around. He was that good. Supposedly he had some records in the Guinness book of word records. I use to tell people he got them all because they passed out 50 feet in front of him and he just dragged them to his houses. His hair was a greasy mess but for some reason he stunk in the summer to. He just flat out stunk and i think that hunting excuse was just that. Check out these other guys wives cause his was a huge one. Maybe they have that in common. I wonder if Raymond knows him because he stinks up by him. I mean lives.

 

[Agent 0659]

:mj07:


The O attached itself to the B?!?

:com:


That is a nasty funk...

 

[SixFive]

we had another guy who worked with us that was a way to serious hunter. He wouldn't use any type of soap during hunting season. Guy use to make animal noises on the job and you thought their was an animal around. He was that good. Supposedly he had some records in the Guinness book of word records. I use to tell people he got them all because they passed out 50 feet in front of him and he just dragged them to his houses. His hair was a greasy mess but for some reason he stunk in the summer to. He just flat out stunk and i think that hunting excuse was just that. Check out these other guys wives cause his was a huge one. Maybe they have that in common. I wonder if Raymond knows him because he stinks up by him. I mean lives.

all the serious hunters I know actually bathe before the morning hunt, and if they go back out in the afternoon, bathe again. They do it with special soap that doesn't have all the perfumes, but it lathers like the rest and does get you clean. If this guy stinks this bad, I doubt he's killing much.

PS I can do all the animal noises too.

 

[SixFive]

I used to play ball during lunchtime with a group of guys. One of the guys that played was the same way. There are some ABSOLUTE facts about these people:

1. They sweat more than a human is supposed to
2. It's always a big man. Can't be some little ****er at the point where I can keep my distance. If it was, he can shoot jumpers all day on me because I ain't getting near him. BUT NO! Gotta be a post guy. Bumping and rubbing all freaking game.
3. They are always loud breathers! Som of a bitch. Buy a ****ing inhaler or something. I have a plumbing snake at home if you need some help with that.
4. They play hard. Can't just once, the smelly guy be the one cherry picking? **** it. Let him score, just don't chase me down the damn court!

Thanks, yyz, for bringing that nightmare back to memory.

reminds me of a guy I used to play with when I was a teenager. He was at the time the older 28 year old brother of my 15 year old friend. He didn't smell so bad, but he did play exceptional defense at all times and would actually dive on the driveway after the ball. He was hairier than an ape and always seemed to have a booger or 2 trapped in his snarl of nose hair. The hair on his arms was like constantine wire. He sweat like heck, and had hair creeping out from the front and back of the neck of his tee shirt, and heaven forbid he take his shirt off. He was like George the animal Steele. When he was guarding you with his shirt off, you might as well turn it over on purpose or prepare to bleed from that hair! He was about 5'4", and he also liked to talk chit. He always called me and everybody else over 6' tall "big man". He also had the aforementioned breathing problem, kind of like a waking sleep apnea.

 

[SixFive]

Well, at any rate, he sidles up to me, and WHAM! I get an instant shot of funk right in the old snot locker! I mean it was an olfactory assault the likes of which I can hardly describe.

reminds me of a supervisor I had when I first started working right after school. Her name was Dixie, and we called her "Stank Dixie". She had the bad sort of BO that was compounded with a strong smell of seafood one week out of the month. She did not believe in using deodorant because deodorant contains aluminum which has been linked to Alzheimer's disease.

3 stories about her. One winter, we had a really bad snow/ice storm here. She lived close to work, so she invited one of the other nurses who lived out of town about 40 minutes to stay with her. The other nurse said she got up early, showered, and got ready. She said when she got out of the shower and told Dixie the shower was free, Dixie was already dressed in the same scrubs she wore the night before, and of course, she had no opportunity to bathe as her apt. only had 1 bathroom. :scared :mj07: She was ripe with BO that night!!

Dixie was helping a nursing assistant change a patient's bed. The nursing assistant was very funny and was really kind of mouthy. She actually asked the patient, "honey, did they not give you a bath tonight? I'll fix that up for you." She then preceded to bathe the patient. Turns out as soon as Dixie left the room, the odor left with her, so she was actually smelling Dixie the whole time and not the patient.

Lastly, Dixie somehow attracted a boyfriend. He would come to visit her at work from time to time, and the time he came in so they could announce their impending engagement :scared she smelled like the cafeteria dumpster after the outdated milk is trashed. Dixie was a strong Southern Baptist, and had mentioned many times how she was a virgin and wasn't going to give that up until her wedding night. I thought more than once, poor guy, he has that to look forward to when he gets married. SAD!!

 

[dawgball]

He was like George the animal Steele.

Absolutely!

This should have been number 5. Could it be that showering hurts with that much hair? Is it like fire ants biting as you strip the dirt away?

 

[snoozer]

It is amazing how other people at the gym can affect your workout. I usually run 2-3 miles... One day I was at the gym and just finished my 3 miles, was about to get off the treadmill and this little spinner got on the treadmill in front of me. 4 miles later I finally got off the treadmill.

I paid for it for the next few days... actually, after my workout I had to take the elevators down 1 floor because my legs were so tired.... But it was well worth it

 

[CornHunka]

Chances are this guy is one of those New Year's Resolution guys. He'll be working out another 2 weeks tops, a few of them will make it to the end of Februrary, but by then, most of them will be gone and us regulars will have the gym back to ourselves. Health Clubs make most of their annual income from these resolution people. Check out all the infomercials on exercise equipment and diet crap. Every January, its the same thing.

 

[layinwood]

Sixfive, your post really started out bad.


reminds me of a guy I used to play with when I was a teenager. He was at the time the older 28 year old brother of my 15 year old friend.



Had me wondering.

 

[ripken8]

are you sure he was really there yyz. not trying to be funny but when you use sidles and saddled in the same thread it makes me wonder. maybe you weren't feeling "the groove" that day, it happens to all of us. Or worse yet, maybe you just max out at 6:30. again a tough thing to admit. so in your mind it's easier to create this "olfactory assault" which quite possibly was just in your imagination. food for thought. I'm just saying, it's so easy to blame the other guy when to find the answer we need to look no further than in the mirror.
And don't ever call me a schlub again (see ya at the gym) :SIB

 

[redsfann]

You said it all, CornHunka. Can't wait for the next 2-3 weeks to go by so that the gym is back to normal. No more waiting for the benches to open up; no more having to sign-up for the elipitcals/treadmills right away so that in an hour after arriving you can get your cardio work in; ect ect.

Funniest thing is to see these newbies come strutting in like they own the joint-- and see the regulars working out with what looks to be not much weight--and the newbie procedes to grab the next bench over, toss a plate on each side of the straight bar and without warming up lays down and with horrible form maybe manages to get the weight up 4-5 times...:mj07:

Then, they get up and strut around like they've just set a new world record in the bench press only to watch the regular add ANOTHER plate to his bar and, with good form, procede to put 225 lbs up 6-8 times.
While it sucks this time of year at the gym, moments like this one make it all worthwhile.

Well, that and the fact that 99.9% of those kinds of yahoos will be gone really soon and us regulars will have our gyms back...

 

[SixFive]

Sixfive, your post really started out bad.


reminds me of a guy I used to play with when I was a teenager. He was at the time the older 28 year old brother of my 15 year old friend.



Had me wondering.

:scared yikes. I was referencing dawgball's basketball playing story, so my playing referred to playing hoops.