your biggest fears?

[safrank99]

I figured I would throw this topic out there to see what you guys are afraid of. The reason I am interested is because one of my biggest fears is going to funerals. My mother called me this morning to let me know that the boy that lives next door to my grandparents house had passed away. He was 14, had down syndrome, and a bunch of other health problems. He was always very nice to me and my grandparents always had him over to play with the dog or just talk whenever he was home.

My mother and grandparents thought I should go to the service in the morning. The kid was very nice to me and I feel very sad for his loss especially at that age it is horrible but I have this huge fear of funerals. I think a lot of this has to do with a best friend hanging himself while on drugs when I was a freshman in college. It was my first and only funeral and it just totally freaked me out. Not seeing him but like the shortness of life.

I feel uneasy about going tomorrow but I think I should try to conquer my fear though it freaks me out to no end and pay my respects. My family is aware of my uneasiness but insist it is the proper thing to do.

Do any of you guys have similar fears or anything like this?

 

[gardenweasel]

I figured I would throw this topic out there to see what you guys are afraid of. The reason I am interested is because one of my biggest fears is going to funerals. My mother called me this morning to let me know that the boy that lives next door to my grandparents house had passed away. He was 14, had down syndrome, and a bunch of other health problems. He was always very nice to me and my grandparents always had him over to play with the dog or just talk whenever he was home.

My mother and grandparents thought I should go to the service in the morning. The kid was very nice to me and I feel very sad for his loss especially at that age it is horrible but I have this huge fear of funerals. I think a lot of this has to do with a best friend hanging himself while on drugs when I was a freshman in college. It was my first and only funeral and it just totally freaked me out. Not seeing him but like the shortness of life.

I feel uneasy about going tomorrow but I think I should try to conquer my fear though it freaks me out to no end and pay my respects. My family is aware of my uneasiness but insist it is the proper thing to do.

Do any of you guys have similar fears or anything like this?

i hear you...i`m the same way....`cept i`ve been to way too many...

the whole "laying out the body" for days thing just totally makes no sense to me...it`s morbid and ghoulish.....

i say get em in the ground as soon as possible..in my case,burn me the same day and spread the ashes......

it`s hard enough on the family without all the theater that goes with the viewing and the funeral....

 

[buddy]

Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 (King James Version)

2 It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.

3 Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.

4The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.

 

[Axle]

Spiders.

 

[safrank99]

Thanks for the comments guys. It is just really uneasy for me but I want to be respectful. My family isn't too happy with my decision not to go so I maybe guilted into going even though it truly freaks the shit out of me.

I like the passage that you mentioned. Didn't Jesus also say, "Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.' 61 Another said, 'I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home.' 62 Jesus said to him, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.'

 

[gardenweasel]

Thanks for the comments guys. It is just really uneasy for me but I want to be respectful. My family isn't too happy with my decision not to go so I maybe guilted into going even though it truly freaks the shit out of me.

I like the passage that you mentioned. Didn't Jesus also say, "Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.' 61 Another said, 'I will follow you, Lord; but let me first say farewell to those at my home.' 62 Jesus said to him, 'No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.'

frank...theres no law that says you have to "conform " to mourn...imo,mourning is a personal matter...

you should mourn in a way that suits you....not necessarily be guilt tripped into doing what "others" think is appropriate for you...

you were good to the kid in life...that`s the most important thing...not standing over his husk to prove something to everyone else...

 

[buddy]

Luke 9:60

Jesus said unto him, "Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God".

Note 2 at Lk. 9:60: Since a dead person cannot literally bury another dead person, Jesus is here speaking of the spiritually dead burying the physically dead. This somewhat harsh response of Jesus to someone who said "suffer (allow) me first to go and bury my father" was meant to reveal this man's heart.

Had his father truly died, this man would already be occupied with funeral and burial arrangements which often took place within a day or two of the death. The words "bury my father" more likely meant that he wanted to delay following after Jesus until such time as his father died. Then he would be free to follow Jesus.

Jesus made it perfectly clear that putting any person or thing "first" before following Him was unacceptable (see refs. c and d at Lk. 9:59, p. 247). This man was being called into ministry by Jesus Himself! Temporal affairs could be handled by the spiritually dead (Prov. 21:16; Eph. 2:1,5; 5:14; Col. 2:13; 1 Tim. 5:6; Rev. 3:1).

 

[THE KOD]

I He was 14, had down syndrome, and a bunch of other health problems. He was always very nice to me

I should go to the service in the morning. The kid was very nice to me and I feel very sad for his loss especially at that age it is horrible but I have this huge fear of funerals.

...............................................................

It says alot about you that you mentioned a downs syn boy was nice to you. I mean that in a good way.

I dont think anyone likes funerals.

The thing is that you should show your respect for his family and celebrate his life.

You dont have to do anything you dont want to do at the funeral. Sit in the back and just think about things.

Leave when your ready. As long as the family knows you were there. Your good.

my fear is heights , I climbed up a water tower one time and froze about half way up with no harness. The wind was blowing hard. Freaked me out.

 

[Lumi]

Skulnik in the position of political power

 

[The Joker]

Another opinion -

I don't like funerals either and I simply refuse to go unless it is a close friend or close family member. (I wouldn't go to a cousins funeral if I can't remember meeting them.)

This is my policy.

It may change in the future - but my wife and others that know me - know it is my policy. I just don't do it.

I am the same way with hospitals - although I do visit church members from time to time. I consider it to be of more value and importance to visit people in the hospital - however, I do it on a discretionary basis.

it may be selfish - I guess it is - oh well.......

 

[Morris]

I was waiting for others to voice opinions. I truly believe that wakes and funerals are tough on the families and are primitive as others have stated.

Back in the early 70's my grandparents donated their bodies to science, My parents did the same.

After my Dad passed my wife saw how much easier it was on the family not to go through all the wake and funeral things that we also donated our bodies to science.

My children also did the same.

We have talked about this and a simple memorial service will be all

We donated our bodies to a teaching medical school here that will help people in the future. When they are done we will be creamated and properly buried.

 

[safrank99]

...............................................................

It says alot about you that you mentioned a downs syn boy was nice to you. I mean that in a good way.

I dont think anyone likes funerals.

The thing is that you should show your respect for his family and celebrate his life.

You dont have to do anything you dont want to do at the funeral. Sit in the back and just think about things.

Leave when your ready. As long as the family knows you were there. Your good.

my fear is heights , I climbed up a water tower one time and froze about half way up with no harness. The wind was blowing hard. Freaked me out.

I meant that in the nicest of ways. He was always very kind in talking to me and he truly loved my grandparents. He was a very good kid and if I think if my grandparents were asked they would say he gave more joy to them then they ever gave to him. Which says a lot for a 14 year old boy.

I've decided to go to the service because my grandmother who has terminal cancer can't attend the service.

Thanks for all of the comments guys.

 

[hedgehog]

I meant that in the nicest of ways. He was always very kind in talking to me and he truly loved my grandparents. He was a very good kid and if I think if my grandparents were asked they would say he gave more joy to them then they ever gave to him. Which says a lot for a 14 year old boy.

I've decided to go to the service because my grandmother who has terminal cancer can't attend the service.

Thanks for all of the comments guys.

I have the same fear and do not like funerals. Its all about his family members and showing them support. Glad to hear you changed your mind, it will mean the world to his family, trust me

 

[buddy]

[[U [/U]have the same fear and do not like funerals. Its all about his family members and showing them support. Glad to hear you changed your mind, it will mean the world to his family, trust me

"Others Lord, yes others,
Let this my motto be.
Help me to live for others,
So I may live like thee"

 

[SixFive]

Frank, I don't like going to funerals either. I tend to go to the visitation (referred to as 'the viewing' in some parts of the country, and I hate that term. U don't go to view the body, u go to visit the family) which is usually the day before or a few hours prior to the funeral. The visitation is much more personal and brief; you can talk briefly to the family, pass out a few hugs, and tell them you are sorry.

Where people get hung up at the visitation or the funeral is feeling as if they have to say something that is going to miraculously make the family feel all better. That's not going to happen, so don't stress yourself out trying to rehearse your lines. A simple, "I'm sorry for your loss" is sufficient. If you don't know the family member, a brief introduction is fine. If you know the deceased and family well, a favorite memory that captures the deceased's personality is great. Sometimes, you don't need to say anything at all as the family member will do the talking.

Get in, pay your respects, and get out. No need to stick around and sit in the pews after you go to the coffin or by the memorial.

Sorry for you loss, Frank, but try not to let it stress you out so bad.

 

[pug]

1. Heights
2. Water
3. Flying (For obvious reasons)

 

[SixFive]

oh, and my fears...

Change
Heights
Agent

 

[tigerfan]

2nd the not going unless it is a close friend or one of their parents - i just dont do funerals.

Also hate SNAKEs, Aligators, Crocs and sharks.

 

[hedgehog]

oh, and my fears...

Change
Heights
Agent

one of my biggest fears is change too :shrug:

 

[THE KOD]

one of my biggest fears is change too :shrug:

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yeh change for me too