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  1. J

    Does anyone like Private Peter?

    I just wanted to get an opinion poll of everyone in this forum to see how many people actually liked Pee-Pee. I mean the general concessus that I get it that he isn't well liked. So I would everyone to give their opinion of Pee-Pee so he can see that maybe it is just me who wishes he would kill...
  2. J

    Funny

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Morris goes to an agency in Manhattan and asks if they have any jobs. "Sure," replies the interviewer, "I've got an ace job - working in a strip club, what you would have to do is help the girls undress and dress, oil them and all that sort of stuff."...
  3. J

    Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!

    Bartenders Psychology: Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results: Drink: Beer Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your...
  4. J

    Funny Stuff

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Doug brought Tammy back to his apartment, took off his clothes, and said, "I'd like you to meet my little friend." Tammy took a look, gathered up her clothes, then said, "Call me when it grows up." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A few...
  5. J

    Missy is getting a little mushy

    To realize the value of a sister: Ask someone who doesn't have one.. To realize the value of ten years: Ask a newly divorced couple. To realize the value of four years: Ask a graduate. To realize the value of one year: Ask a student who has failed a final exam...
  7. J

    Women are so insensitive (YEAH BABY)

    Subject: Women are so insensitive Women are so insensitive, Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him; he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the...
  8. J

    Great Quotes by Great Ladies!!

    Great Quotes by Great Ladies! Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.. -Cora Harvey Armstrong- ++++++++++++++++++++++++ The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. -Helen Hayes (at 73)- ++++++++++++++++++++++++ I refuse to...
  9. J

    Men Are Like ...

    >Men are like ... Laxatives: They irritate the crap out of you. > >Men are like ... Bananas: The older they get, the less firm they are. > >Men are like ... Vacations: They never seem to last long enough. > >Men are like ... Weather: Nothing can be done to change them. > >Men are...
  10. J

    French's Mustard Statement

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ French's Mustard..... The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement: "We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has there ever been a...
  11. J

    New Disease Breakout - B.a.r.s.

    The World Health Organization (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning about BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified problem has spread rapidly throughout the world. The disease, identified as BARS (Beer & Alcohol Requirement Syndrome) affects people of many different...
  13. J

    Hormonal Warning

    The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other! DANGEROUS: What's...
  14. J

    Show me yours and I'll show you mine!!!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An 8 year old boy walks home from school each day past an 8-year-old girl's house. One day as he is passing by, carrying a football, he can't resist taunting the girl. He holds up the football and says, "See this football? Football is a boys' game, and...
  15. J

    How God Created Man!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HOW GOD CREATED MAN God created woman, and she had 3 breasts. He said to the woman,"Is there anything on you that you'd like to change?" She said, "Yes. Could you get rid of this middle breast?" God snapped his fingers and it was done. She...
  16. J

    To Funny

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A young girl had not been feeling well and went to her family doctor. "Young lady," said the doctor, "you're pregnant." "But that can't be. The only men I've been with are nudists and in our colony we practice sex only with our eyes." "Well my...
  17. J

    ***madjacks Softball Team Coaches*** Lolololo

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TOP 10 SIGNS YOU HIRED THE WRONG KID TO MOW YOUR LAWN 10. He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag 9. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of 13 cats 8. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher 7...
  19. J

    Nude Beach

    Nude Beach A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is."...
  20. J

    Why Fishin' Is Better Than Making Love

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why Fishin' Is Better Than Making Love * When you go fishin' and you catch somethin,' that's good. If you're making love and you catch somethin,' that's bad. * Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither. And don't want to know how many other...
  21. J

    Stages Of Sex

    Recent research shows that there are five kinds of sex. The first kind of sex is Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The second kind of sex is Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a...
  22. J

    Funny

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One day the teacher asked the children in class to give examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth. Little Johnny says "It is not good to put a lit light bulb in one's mouth." The teacher says "That is correct, but why?" Little Johnny...
  23. J

    100lbs of Dynamite

    A body builder picks up a woman at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and the woman says, "What a great chest you have." The body builder tells her, "That's 100 lb. of dynamite." He takes off his pants and the woman says, "What massive calves you have." The body builder...
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