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  1. Cricket

    Threesome

    A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny... keep me potent." The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small...
  2. Cricket

    Life

    Life This is perhaps the most profound philosophy I have heard in recent times: "Life is like a penis - simple, relaxed and hanging free . . . it's women who make it hard."
  3. Cricket

    Nine Thoughts To Ponder

    Number 9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world. Number 8 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 6 Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his...
  4. Cricket

    Old Farmer

    An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond...
  5. Cricket

    Economic Stimulus

    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? A. It is money that the federal government will...
  7. Cricket

    Railroad Tracks

    The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates designed the U.S. Railroads. Why did the English build them like that...
  8. Cricket

    Llittle Bruce.

    ----- ----- ----- Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, But they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, So Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are...
  9. Cricket

    Carrying Things To Far

    Carrying things too far??? I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be...
  10. Cricket

    Funny Commercial

    What a girl!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak_l2IcVn1g
  11. Cricket

    Weather Today

    Yesterday it was 60 degrees.
  13. Cricket

    Sex With A Patient

    *A doctor had sex with one of his female patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal of his patient were overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that...
  14. Cricket

    $2 Bet

    Husband takes the wife to a disco. There's a guy on the dance floor living it large break-dancing, moon-walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says...
  15. Cricket

    Best round of golf

    Best Golf Round Ever Sal Wallerstein was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying...
  16. Cricket

    Happy Mental Health Day

    Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the...
  17. Cricket

    Rice a Roni

    Subject: Fwd: FW: A Colonoscopy In San Francisco After having experienced the discomfort and embarrassment of a colonoscopy in my home state of Alabama, I decided to have my next one performed while visiting friends in San Francisco, where beautiful nurses are said to be much more gentle...
  19. Cricket

    Vacation(Joke)

    A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy...
  20. Cricket

    Alcoholic Test

    ! If you see the bar sign you are an alcoholic!!!!!!
  21. Cricket

    Fast Thinking

    The Fastest Thing... Jennifer a manager at MadJack Accounting Firm had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their...
  22. Cricket

    Might be a repost but still funny....

    A young cowboy from Montana goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money .... he calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Missoula that will teach our dog, Ole'...
  23. Cricket

    Tuber

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