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I don't remember the very last swallow of alcohol that night but I do remember Dec. 9, 1996
OAKLAND 26, Kansas City 7
The last football game I ever watched while drinking..
A broken down drunk sipped on a $1.00 draft beer knowing it had to be last consumption of alcohol in any form in order for life to continue.
A night unlike any other in my entire life .Sitting alone in a booth instead of at the bar with the all the guys and girls for Monday Night Football I peered into my past,the present and an unforeseen future.Rock bottom had finally arrived.With every sip of that draft I glanced at the tv screen then towards the horseshoe bar and then at the front door.
Time stood still as I sipped on the beverage that I had allowed to ruin not only my life but unfortunately the life's of many others.Fear,anxiety and worthlessness swept over me worse than ever before as the glass began to empty with every swallow.The recollections of two broken marriages mired in countless arguements with those spouses raced through my mind.The failed career and loss of respect among my peers reflected in what was now a nearly empty 20oz beer glass.Lieing,cheating and broken promises were my drinking buddies that Monday Night.Just like they had been for far to many years. But this night we would be the last night we would hang out together.Stnding up reaching into my pocket to make sure of the time and date written on the card for my court appointed rehab stint to start.
I had no idea what lie ahead of me as I took a glance back at the crowded bar while exiting through one of many doors that had been an entrance into my self-inflicted destruction.
Lieing,cheating and broken promises still occupied the booth from which I had just left. A single swallow of alcohol still nestled in the bottom of the beer glass that I had purposely left as a signal to myself that I could walk away from my demon of self destruction screamed at me to return.That same demon who I had allowed to control my very existence to a point where one was to many and a thousand were never enough once again called to me.Why shouldn't it..More times than I can recall the enticement of "Good Time Charlie" was all I needed to continue the downward spiral.No,not this time.The door closed behind me and I walked to my truck toward what I hoped would be the last time alcohol would control my life.
That Tuesday Dec 10,1996 was the very first day of my recovery.A self appointed day to arrive on Wed. Dec. 11th at the start of rehab without alcohol in my system.
A year of rehab and countless AA Meetings were the beginning of a new life...A rebirth to which I celebrate my birthday of sobriety.
Dec.10th 1996
Happy Birthday to me..
* My door open and cellphone on for those who need a little encouragement and or guidance as to how get on the path and slay the Dragons that ruin us.
* Nothing is more important than becoming the "Master of Your Own Mind and The Keeper of Your Own Soul.
OAKLAND 26, Kansas City 7
The last football game I ever watched while drinking..
A broken down drunk sipped on a $1.00 draft beer knowing it had to be last consumption of alcohol in any form in order for life to continue.
A night unlike any other in my entire life .Sitting alone in a booth instead of at the bar with the all the guys and girls for Monday Night Football I peered into my past,the present and an unforeseen future.Rock bottom had finally arrived.With every sip of that draft I glanced at the tv screen then towards the horseshoe bar and then at the front door.
Time stood still as I sipped on the beverage that I had allowed to ruin not only my life but unfortunately the life's of many others.Fear,anxiety and worthlessness swept over me worse than ever before as the glass began to empty with every swallow.The recollections of two broken marriages mired in countless arguements with those spouses raced through my mind.The failed career and loss of respect among my peers reflected in what was now a nearly empty 20oz beer glass.Lieing,cheating and broken promises were my drinking buddies that Monday Night.Just like they had been for far to many years. But this night we would be the last night we would hang out together.Stnding up reaching into my pocket to make sure of the time and date written on the card for my court appointed rehab stint to start.
I had no idea what lie ahead of me as I took a glance back at the crowded bar while exiting through one of many doors that had been an entrance into my self-inflicted destruction.
Lieing,cheating and broken promises still occupied the booth from which I had just left. A single swallow of alcohol still nestled in the bottom of the beer glass that I had purposely left as a signal to myself that I could walk away from my demon of self destruction screamed at me to return.That same demon who I had allowed to control my very existence to a point where one was to many and a thousand were never enough once again called to me.Why shouldn't it..More times than I can recall the enticement of "Good Time Charlie" was all I needed to continue the downward spiral.No,not this time.The door closed behind me and I walked to my truck toward what I hoped would be the last time alcohol would control my life.
That Tuesday Dec 10,1996 was the very first day of my recovery.A self appointed day to arrive on Wed. Dec. 11th at the start of rehab without alcohol in my system.
A year of rehab and countless AA Meetings were the beginning of a new life...A rebirth to which I celebrate my birthday of sobriety.
Dec.10th 1996
Happy Birthday to me..
* My door open and cellphone on for those who need a little encouragement and or guidance as to how get on the path and slay the Dragons that ruin us.
* Nothing is more important than becoming the "Master of Your Own Mind and The Keeper of Your Own Soul.
