A Republican, in a wheelchair

[MadJack]

A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.


As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door.


Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, smiling.

The Democrat jumped up and yelled,

"Don't touch me .... I'm collecting disability!!!"


:mj07:

 

[MadJack]

A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy.

Before the procedure the nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.

When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys.

The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him.

Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about.

The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever.

The nurse then dresses and wheels the patient to the operating room.

While they are going down the hall the patient sees six men in a room masturbating.

Curious, the man asks "What are they doing in there"?

The nurse responds,

"They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care.

 

[WhatsHisNuts]

A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.


As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door.


Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, smiling.

The Democrat jumped up and yelled,

"Don't touch me .... I'm collecting disability!!!"


:mj07:

:mj07::mj07::mj07:

 

[DOGS THAT BARK]

A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.


As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door.


Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, smiling.

The Democrat jumped up and yelled,

"Don't touch me .... I'm collecting disability!!!"


:mj07:

I'll have to remember that one :142smilie
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Got just as big a chuckle again reading it 2nd time--believe this is 2nd best joke I've read here--2nd only to little Johnny and baby with no ears :mj07:

 

[Lumi]

A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.


As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door.


Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, smiling.

The Democrat jumped up and yelled,

"Don't touch me .... I'm collecting disability!!!"


:mj07:

Are you sure the Lib can afford the Miller Lite ?

He should be ordering Keystone ?

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[hedgehog]

:0002 :0002

I like em both...

 

[StevieD]

....later that year when doing his taxes the Republican deducted the $2.00 for the coffee, $6.00 for the cab fare to get to the restaurant, $85.00 for a new pair of shoes,$100 for depreciation of his wheelchair, and $16.00 for his lunch. He concluded this was a business expense and Jesus was a client he was entertaining. It's just a good thing for us that he didn't take Jesus to a ball game.

 

[Chadman]

Keith Stone drinks Keystone because Keith Stone wants to drink Keystone. It's not like he's from Kentucky or something like that. Keith Stone is cool.

 

[Lumi]

Keith Stone drinks Keystone because Keith Stone wants to drink Keystone. It's not like he's from Kentucky or something like that. Keith Stone is cool.

Not only is he cool,

He scores with the babes ! :toast:

 

[RAYMOND]

racist:facepalm:

 

[hedgehog]

racist:facepalm:

:mj03:

 

[RAYMOND]

:mj03:

:142smilie :142smilie