Any Doctors in the house???

[jer-z jock]

Jer z

you should tell us , it could help alot of us.

Especially if it works and is logical.

I have heard drink 2 gallons of water for 3 days and it will flush system enough to pass.

:weed:

OK fellas, I am around to help and I REALLY ENJOY THIS SITE AND MEMBERS OF IT, so LAUGH OR NOT....USE IT OR NOT....IT WORKED FOR ME!!!!! Here we go:


1) I used a sandwhich bag, some people use bottles or other things but reasons for a sandwhich bag DOUBLE BAGGED MAKES SENSE later in the process......get someone whos CLEAN to piss in the bag OF THE SAME SEX!!! Usually the day of or night before the test is BEST!!

2) You got the CLEAN PISS PART DOWN.....now we must worry about TEMPERATURE. What I did was bought a TEMPERATURE GAUGE (NOT GLASS) stainless steel if you can find one!!! I used a thermos that was microwaveable.......filled it up a little more then halfway with water and heated the water up to around 100-110 degrees(if you are close to the site you can do this at home but if you must drive hour or so away we would always take the thermos full of water with us) after the water is properly heated drop the BAG OF PISS in the thermos (and cover if riding with it) measure the water temp and let BAG sit in water around 7-10 mins.....this heats the piss up to NORMAL BODY TEMPERATURE.

3) Once the water is verified to be 100-110 degrees you can take the BAG out after it sits for allotted time, NOW COMES THE TRANSPORTATION PART!!!

4) This is where I found the BAG to be BETTER THEN ANY BOTTLE OR ANYTHING ELSE. This is the funniest part of the whole deal to me, YOU MUST WEAR OLD SCHOOL BRIEFS OR TIGHTY WHITIES as we call them, the old fruit of the looms or any brand that HUGS YOUR BUTT/NUTS with enough width that your sacks arent hanging out:mj07: . If you are close to the site FROM wherever you are you now must place the HOT BAG OF PISS IN YOUR TIGHTY WHITIES, CAREFULLY...my first attempt at this part I just dropped the SUPER HOT BAG IN MY UNDIES THINKING ITS NOT THAT HOT, and OUCHHHH!!!!! Now if its TOO HOT relax its a good thing dont put it in yet. Frequently checking to place it back in AS SOON AS YOU CAN STAND THE TEMPERATURE(key being to get the HOT BAG NEXT TO YOUR BODY ASAP SO IT MAY COOLDOWN TO BODY TEMP---TRYING TO HEAT UP FROM COLD TO BODY TEMP USUALLY RESULTS IN FAILURE) I would place the BAG on MY BAGS underneath and close and tight, it allows you to walk freely and also SITDOWN WITHOUT BURSTING THE BAG OF PISS(remembering NOT sit sitdown fully but a bit more towards the edge of the chair reduces chances of embarrassment!!!!)

5) You are loaded up and ready to make the deposit......I used a bobby pin on my belt or at the top of my sockline to puncture a hole in the BAGS once inside the testing room bathroom, squeezing the piss in the cup to create a little foam......once you've done that YOU MUST TAKE ALL BAGS AND ITEMS BACK WITH YOU, STUFFING THE SOMETIMES WET BAG IN YOUR SOCK OR UNDIES IS A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE especially knowing it wasnt your piss!!! But as soon as you return to the car or another bathroom you can fix that, by changing socks , undies or having a rag to scrub off(never said it was fun I said it WORKED!!!)

The pretty lady takes the temp, asks you to sign and your're free to go.... smiling KNOWING you've just passed a test you had NO BUSINESS DOING SO!!!!

FOOTNOTE----the only difference is long travels you may load the undies in the parking lot, versus at the house, key is to give enough time for the BAG to be BODY TEMP, NOT TOO HOT...if its the middle of the day....go to WAWA or any convience store with a microwave and they have no problem letting you heat up plain water even if its a $0.50 charge and resume the process!!!! I always had my thermos and temp taker in the car with me going to work, IF you dont KNOW when the test is---taking a bag of piss to work everyday seems quite odd but hey its what I USED TO DO TO SECURE MY JOB(dont use the same bag of piss, have a buddy or someone regularly ready to piss for you( WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR:shrug: ), ONLY MYSELF AND MY BUDDY KNEW...NO NEED TO GO BRAGGING SO WHO GONNA REALLY KNOW?

If it seems I left any parts out or if something seems not complete JUST MENTION IT I WILL FILL IN THE BLANK, I am REMEMBERING THIS OFF THE HEAD AND POSSIBLY I LEFT SOMETHING OUT......ANY QUESTIONS I WILL BE HAPPY TO ADDRESS AND BEST OF LUCK...

TO ALL THE ONES THAT SCARF OR LAUGH AT THIS, DOESNT MATTER TO ME..I SMOKED HEAVILY AND ENJOYED DOING SO...without the WORRY OF LOSING MY JOB!!!!!!

 

[THE KOD]

thanks but thats not logical

only yyz would ask another man for clean piss.

Then you are carrying a thermos and a plastic bag around in your whitie underwear.

I thought it was going to be eat some squash or something.

Dont they stand in the bathroom to make sure your not cheating ?

Best to just quit the herb if your job requires testing.

 

[jer-z jock]

thanks but thats not logical
only yyz would ask another man for clean piss.

Then you are carrying a thermos and a plastic bag around in your whitie underwear.

I thought it was going to be eat some squash or something.

Dont they stand in the bathroom to make sure your not cheating ?

Best to just quit the herb if your job requires testing.

LOL, to each his own, I DID QUIT SMOKING but EVIDENTLY NOT EVERYONE HAS OR HAS THE WILL POWER TO DO SO!!!!!!! KNOCKING SOMEONE FOR THEIR FAULTS ISNT WHAT IS NEEDED RIGHT NOW, HE WANTS TO PASS THE TEST....I GAVE HIM THAT OPTION REGARDLESS IF YOU LIKE THE IDEA OR NOT, IT WORKS!!!
But you are NOT carrying a thermos and so fourth in your draws, its in the car!!!!! RE READ IT, and THEY ARE NOT PERMITTED EXCEPT FOR GOVERNMENT JOBS OR NFL,MLB, OR OTHER JOBS AS SUCH TO WATCH YOU PISS....YOU ARENT ON PROBATION FOR KILLING SOMEONE ITS A RANDOM PISS TEST......IF you think its NOT LOGICAL then YOU DONT OR NEVER HAD THE PROBLEMS OF BEING FACED WITH LOSING YOUR JOB DO TO SMOKING!!!!! I HAVE AND IVE BEAT THE TEST THIS WAY OVER 8 TIMES MYSELF!!!! EAT SQUASH, CHEW DIRT THEN DRINK THAT TEA AND HOPE IT WORKS CLEAN PISS IS THE ONLY GAURANTEED WAY TO BEAT THE TEST!!!! I missed an opportunity to get a job making $25 p/hr 7 years ago!!!!!! Because of failing a test......I WAS TOLD THEY DIDNT TEST, unfortunately they started for ONLY NEW HIRES THE MONTH I GOT BROUGHT ON!!!!! Since that blown opp. I vowed not to DO THAT AGAIN!!!! AND HAVENT THUS LANDING ANOTHER GREAT OPP AND TAKING ADVANTAGE OF IT WITH THIS TEST BEATER!!!! I have been smoke free since January of '08

If you are so be-littled by asking another man or young adult for piss then you have no idea what being jobless with NO INCOME IS ALL ABOUT!!!!! Some of us arent so LUCKY!!!!

 

[THE KOD]

jz

I read it I was just fawking with yu about the thermos in the underwear.

I am not sure I could go through all that just to pass a piss test.

I work on goverment jobs sometimes and they want to piss test my crew before we start.

I told the guy to fawk off and whipped it out and pissed on his boots. Then I took his hard hat off his head and bitch slapped him.

 

[amich1]

i recommend the whizinator w/ the heating element, you can buy chinese piss to go in it, i'm not kidding and it works 100% of the time, at least it has for me and others i know who used it, there is no way your municipality is spending the extra money to do ethnic testing on your piss, drugs only... they also won't watch you while you pee, it isn't probation

 

[SixFive]

jz, lmao!! Whatever works I guess?

I don't think it's necessary to even have the same sex pee for you. It's just a simple dipstick test usually; they aren't checking for hormones.

I sure wouldn't have somebody pee the night before either. If the pee is out more than an hour or so and not refrigerated, it starts building up bacteria. U don't want a rancid baggie of piss spilling in those drawers, do u?

I would also think that the baggie of pee right next to/under your 'bag' should keep the piss at a warm enough temperature to pass.

 

[no pepper]

Now if its TOO HOT relax its a good thing dont put it in yet. Frequently checking to place it back in AS SOON AS YOU CAN STAND THE TEMPERATURE...I would place the BAG on MY BAGS underneath and close and tight, it allows you to walk freely and also SITDOWN WITHOUT BURSTING THE BAG OF PISS

Thread of the year. You are cracking me up, jer-z. And I don't know about buying that Chinese piss. Theres a Madjacks boycott I think I read on Chinese stuff until August.

 

[jer-z jock]

jz, lmao!! Whatever works I guess?

I don't think it's necessary to even have the same sex pee for you. It's just a simple dipstick test usually; they aren't checking for hormones.

I sure wouldn't have somebody pee the night before either. If the pee is out more than an hour or so and not refrigerated, it starts building up bacteria. U don't want a rancid baggie of piss spilling in those drawers, do u?

I would also think that the baggie of pee right next to/under your 'bag' should keep the piss at a warm enough temperature to pass.

All is correct except the highlighted part!!!! SAME SEX PISS IS NEEDED, a little period blood in the test will surely have you caught:mj07: or even a pregnant chick will have you nailed also!!
As for old piss--I keep deer piss for hunting in an extra fridge for months once its opened, so you may or could choose to keep it cold but PLEASE SEAL THE CONTAINER AND MARK IT, imagine company or little kid getting up in the middle of the night and having some lemonade!!!! The cold wont matter as its getting heated up regardless!!!! And yes the NUTS keep it warm and allows it to BE BODY TEMPERATURE WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!!! Never had success going from cold to the nuts without heating the piss first.....I once told I should be dead due to the piss being cold, I failed a few test before perfecting this method:142smilie

Scott KOD--cool I was only offering what I did and knew in trying to help.....glad it wasnt a rip deal!!!

 

[Dr Feelgood]

Thanks Jer-Z, much appreciated, but I'm just gonna quit. I have no way of knowing when or where the test will be given or when my number comes up...it's plain and simple, I must quit or lose my livelihood...It was a good 25 year run...I'll miss it for sure as it was just like butts for me. Over the long run, I'll be healthier and hopefully lighter as i won't be scarfing down boxes of twinkies at midnight anymore...:scared

 

[MadJack]

Thanks Jer-Z, much appreciated, but I'm just gonna quit.

good move.

 

[Dr Feelgood]

and switch to prescription painkillers...:00hour :shrug: :mj07: