Because you all are my brothers.....

[THE KOD]

sorry to hear this bart.

take care of yourself first.

I have been thru it twice. Its really hard to break contact , but if you dont it takes so much longer to move on.

 

[Betone]

Good luck with your future relationships, i know this has to hurt as you guys are good friends. Things happen for a reason even though we do not realize it while in pain. Your a good guy and you will find your soul mate, she is out there bud!!!

:0008

 

[ppabart]

Got home a bit ago and just not logged in and read everyones' comments. I knew I was coming to the right place to let my feelings fly. So much is changing so fast, and it's a pretty scary process. But here's what I can tell you......after going through my Dad's passing away from brain cancer, I learned a lot about emotional pain and how to deal with it. I guess even after he's gone, my Dad is still helping me out years later.......which is how it should be.

One thing I can tell you all is I know I'll be ok in the long run. Short term.....this is really hard and it does hurt.....a lot. But I know I'll be ok. It's good to have friends that care......even if they are Canadian like kickserv

So this weekend I think I'm taking a little trip. I'm gonna head up to Boston with a good friend of mine and catch a Red Sox game and a Celtics game. Never been to Boston so I'm kinda kicking a couple of things off the ol bucket list. They don't make em much better than Skipper

 

[kickserv]

"even if they are Canadian like kickserv"

:mj07:

 

[Deucer]

Sorry to hear Bro. Hoping all the best for you.
Take care. :toast:

 

[WhatsHisNuts]

One thing I can tell you all is I know I'll be ok in the long run.

And so do we.

Bart, there is nothing lonelier than living with someone you don't want to be with. Thank her for getting out before you had to figure it out for yourself, and start looking forward to a new stage in your life. Scary as it is, it can also be very exciting. Nobody likes to be rejected but you will be better for it as a human being. This sucks, but you're a smart dude and you'll make the best of it.

Take care.

-Gary

 

[MadJack]

Been there, done that, and I know everything will work for the best. Love you brotherman.

It's just tough at the beginning. I promise. :0008

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZBR2G-iI3-I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

[gardenweasel]

Bart, I'm very sorry to hear that. I don't know you but on MJs you seem like a great guy.

i`ll second this....and maybe third it....

bub,you said it perfectly...if that`s what she wants,that`s all there is to it.....you can`t make somebody stay with you(and trying is always counterproductive)...let her go and see if maybe she has second thoughts.....it`s possible....


that said,i think you`re handling it perfectly(and that doesn`t surprise me one bit)...

tough slog ahead...but it sounds like you`ll be fine...in time....

hang in there,bud...

 

[CryBoy]

Good to know that you are going to Boston this weekend. Have fun! You have received lots of good advice here.

 

[ppabart]

It's funny to think that I'm gonna be "dating" again. I'm obviously in no hurry for that activity. I can honestly say I've never had a one night stand in my life, and I can't see that starting now......just not really my style. Besides, any woman has always come back for seconds, at least. LOL

But seriously, I know I have said this, but the weirdest thing for me is to think as an individual again. So much of my personal makeup is thinking about what is best for others or the group. Hell, when Lizzie was around, I took better care of her than I took care of myself. But I know that there are positives to be seen here. It's hard to see them right now, but I know that they are there. Like you said Gary, better now than later on down the line. I really believe that too.....but it doesnt make it easier to accept at this moment.

I'm lucky to have great friends like all of you. It makes a huge difference. This weekend.....Boston with Skipper. Next weekend....Mother's Day with mom. The following weekend, golf tournament with Skipper in Knoxville. That almost takes care of every weekend prior to her leaving the country.

And ya know, after all of this, I still care and want to make sure that she's ok and that she gets to Canada safely. Once she is there, I don't see us talking much anymore. I personally don't see the point. All it will do is torment me....and I won't ever be good for myself or any other woman in my future. It's hard to imagine not having Samantha in my future....but it's necessary to let go and move on with life. You can let life pass you by too easily....and I don't want to do that. I want to be happy....and I want to find someone to share it with. Those things will happen.

 

[ripken8]

It's funny to think that I'm gonna be "dating" again. I'm obviously in no hurry for that activity. I can honestly say I've never had a one night stand in my life, and I can't see that starting now......just not really my style. Besides, any woman has always come back for seconds, at least. LOL

But seriously, I know I have said this, but the weirdest thing for me is to think as an individual again. So much of my personal makeup is thinking about what is best for others or the group. Hell, when Lizzie was around, I took better care of her than I took care of myself. But I know that there are positives to be seen here. It's hard to see them right now, but I know that they are there. Like you said Gary, better now than later on down the line. I really believe that too.....but it doesnt make it easier to accept at this moment.

I'm lucky to have great friends like all of you. It makes a huge difference. This weekend.....Boston with Skipper. Next weekend....Mother's Day with mom. The following weekend, golf tournament with Skipper in Knoxville. That almost takes care of every weekend prior to her leaving the country.

And ya know, after all of this, I still care and want to make sure that she's ok and that she gets to Canada safely. Once she is there, I don't see us talking much anymore. I personally don't see the point. All it will do is torment me....and I won't ever be good for myself or any other woman in my future. It's hard to imagine not having Samantha in my future....but it's necessary to let go and move on with life. You can let life pass you by too easily....and I don't want to do that. I want to be happy....and I want to find someone to share it with. Those things will happen.

bart, i just saw this. i too have never met you, just on here and a few texts. i'm old enough to be your father so i offer a little different perspective but the maturity you show in this post convinces me you have a good head on your shoulders and you'll get thru this. you have alot of friends here, i'd like to include myself as one. if you need anything you know how to get a hold of me... Oh, and one more thing. About marriage, it'll be 31 years in august and i love her more today than i did yesterday. you're still young and you'll find her...:0008

 

[hedgehog]

It's funny to think that I'm gonna be "dating" again. I'm obviously in no hurry for that activity. I can honestly say I've never had a one night stand in my life, and I can't see that starting now......just not really my style. Besides, any woman has always come back for seconds, at least. LOL

I felt the same way you do about a year ago...lots of women in our shoes 35 and single, trust me...they have some baggage but who doesn't by this age? and most have kids...my advise is to cut off all communication with her when she gets back to Canada...it does get better in time...

 

[BobbyBlueChip]

Sorry to hear this Bart. Time to get your groove back :0074

And make sure she doesn't take all the good shit while you're going on benders with Skipper.

 

[PocketAces]

Prayers sent. Good things happen to good people. So be ready!

 

[ppabart]

Sorry to hear this Bart. Time to get your groove back :0074

And make sure she doesn't take all the good shit while you're going on benders with Skipper.

I guess that's one of the positives here. She'll be taking virtually nothing but her clothes. Since she is driving back home to Canada, it would cost her more to transport large things than those items are actually worth. So in that respect, I'm fine. Where I get paid back is that her car is paid for whereas mine isn't. So things do have a way of evening out I suppose.

Skipper and I got our Sox tickets last night. We'll be sitting above the visitors dugout.....seems like great seats to me. :0074

 

[Sportsaholic]

I guess that's one of the positives here. She'll be taking virtually nothing but her clothes. Since she is driving back home to Canada, it would cost her more to transport large things than those items are actually worth. So in that respect, I'm fine. Where I get paid back is that her car is paid for whereas mine isn't. So things do have a way of evening out I suppose.

Skipper and I got our Sox tickets last night. We'll be sitting above the visitors dugout.....seems like great seats to me. :0074

This might be of help this weekend unless you have Beantown Jim already setup :0008

http://www.bailbond.com/massachusetts

 

[Wineguy]

Very sorry to hear this Bart, but I promise that it will get better. Stay busy as you are, there will be temptations quickly because of your "take care of someone" mentality and makeup. I reached in a lot of wrong places like younger women, but I think somehow it is the makeup of us as men in general. Good luck, and if you guys are playing anytime soon again in Knoxville I,d love to join you guys. Take care bro, see you in 2 months otherwise.

 

[Nole]

They don't make em much better than Skipper

Well, I don't know about that.






:facepalm:


















You guys have a blast! Wish I could have joined you.







:toast:

 

[ppabart]

Ya know what's funny.....

I still haven't gotten around to telling my brothers about all this that is going on. I actually went over to my older brother's house after work with the intent of telling him and my sister in law, but they were having a pretty rotten day already.....so obviously I didn't feel like adding to the shit parade that was their day. Ugh......I can't stand telling everyone anyways. Just makes me run through all the feelings of sadness, anger, hurt, shame, etc all over again.

I hate that this is so hard, but at the same time, if it wasn't hard, something would be wrong with me. I just keep telling myself that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't see it yet.

 

[Sylvan]

Bart, I don't know you but I have recently gone through this and would like to wish you the best of luck. Everything I have read so far in this thread seems to be great advice. The first few weeks are the worst so keeping busy and hanging with friends that support you will help. And you're right to cut off communications with her, that will make it easier to get over her.

You seem like a pretty upbeat guy so I think you'll pull through this very well. I look at my situation like it happened for a reason and that the best is yet to come and I believe that. Keep your head up and I wish you the best. It will get better!