Justinsmom829:
SeEiNg ThAt YoU?vE dEcIdEd To AtTaCk Me PeRsOnAlLy WiTh InCoRrEcT aSsUmPtIoNs AbOuT mY bEiNg, I wIlL nOw AtTeMpT tO rEcIpRoCaTe In KiNd! HoWeVeR, I wOuLd Be ReMiSs If I dIdN?t FiRsT aPoLoGiZe FoR rEfUtInG yOuR aCcUsAtIoNs Of HoMoSeXuAlItY aNd BeAsTiAlItY, wHiCh UnDoUbTeDlY wHeTtEd YoUr UnSoPhIsTiCaTeD sExUaL pReFeReNcEs, NoT tO mEnTiOn YoUr GiRlGoO-sTaInEd GrAnNy PaNtIeS, bUt, dO NoT aPpEaSe mE WhAtSoEvEr!
NoW oNtO yOuR wOnDeRfUl aNd FrUiTfUl LiFe!
FiRsT aNd FoReMoSt, bEiNg A sInGlE mOm, AtTeNdInG SuNdAy MaSs iS nOtHiNg ShOrT oF hYpOcRiTiCaL, aS yOu ObViOuSlY dOn?T uPhOlD tHe LiFeStYlE oF a ChRiStIaN! hAvInG uNpRoTeCtEd PrE-mAriTaL sEx AnD wHaT nOt! TsK tSk! Or PeRhApS yOu?Re SiMpLy AnOtHeR sTaTiStIc! YoU kNoW, yOuR eX gEtTiNg TiReD oF YoUr InCeSsAnT mOnOsYlLaBiC pRaTtLiNg AnD lEaViNg YoUr SoRrY pErPeTuAlLy BuTt-PlUgGeD aSs FoR tHe MuCh MoRe ApPeAlInG gAp-ToOtHeD tEeN fRoM tHe LoCaL DaIrY qUeEn! CaN yOu BlAmE hIm!
SeCoNdLy, ThE fAcT tHaT yOu AuToMaTiCaLlY EqUaTe InTeLlEcT wItH hOmOsExUaLiTy LeAdS mE tO bElIeVe ThAt AlL tHe StUcK iN tHe 80?S mUlLeTs ThAt YoU?vE sOmEhOw mIrAcUlOuSlY bAgGeD In ThE pAsT hAvE sHaReD yOuR iNaNe PaSsIoN fOr ThE dRoLl AnD sTuPiD! tHeN aGaIn, WhAt SeLf-ReSpeCtInG mAlE wOuLd AlLoW hImSeLf To Be SeEn In PuBlIc WiTh ThE LiKeS oF yOu, NoT tO mEnTiOn BeInG sPoTtEd ExItInG ThAt HoVeL lOcAtEd DeEp In ThE tRaIlEr PaRk ThAt YoU sEqUeStEr YoUrSeLf In EaCh AnD eVeRy NiGhT oF yOuR mIsErAbLe LiFe!
Or PeRhApS yOuR oUtWaRd DiSdAiN fOr HoMoSeXuAlS iS dOnE tO mAsK tHe LuSt YoU fEeL fOr ThE oThEr MuFf-DiVeRs On ThE tEaM! It?S qUiTe AlRiGhT! yOuR sEcReT iS sAfE wItH mE! a LiTtLe BlEaCh oR wAxInG wOuLd GeT rId Of YoUr ?StAcHe AnD nO OnE wOuLd Be ThE wIsEr, CaRpEt MuNcH!
FiNaLlY, i OfFeR mY cOnDoLeNcEs To YoUr CuRrEnT aNd FuTuRe OfFsPrInG! wItH a RoLe MoDeL sUcH aS yOuRsElF, i LoOk FoRwArD tO rEaDiNg AbOuT tHeM iN a FuTuRe EdItIoN oF nAtIoNaL eNqUiReR oR sEeInG tHeM oN sPrInGeR!
gOoD lUcK iN aLl YoUr FuTuRe EnDeAvOrS, gOiTeR gIrL!
ANd I hAvEn?T fOrGoTtEn AbOuT yOu EiThEr, HeLeN! yOuR pArAbLe Is FoRtHcOmInG!
