Funny Joke......

[ctownguy]

Man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he
noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention
and asked, "Sir, what will you have?"
The man thought a moment then replied, "A martini please." The robot
clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever
had.

The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?" The man answered "Oh,
about 164."
The robot then proceeded to discuss the 'theory of relativity',
inter-stellar space travel', 'the latest medical break throughs',
etc.......

The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a
different tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and
asked what he would have. "A Martini please." Again it was superb.

The robot again asked "What is your IQ, Sir?" This time the man
answered, "Oh, about 100". So the robot started discussing Nascar
racing, the latest basketball scores, and what to expect the Dodgers to
do this week end.

The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a
stool. This time he ordered just a Bud Light. Then the question, "What
is your IQ?"??

This time the man drawled out " Uh..... bout 50". The robot clicked then
leaned close and very slowly asked , "A-r-e? y-o-u-r? p-e-o-p-l-e???
g-o-i-n-g? t-o?? n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e? H-i-l-l-a-r-y-?????

 

[AR182]

i like it...but then again i'm not a hilliary fan....

ctown...

we haven't had a good political humorist since will rogers.....political humor may be your calling if the card playing doesn't work out....(lol)

and btw...you can expect some george bush jokes to be entered here shortly...

 

[MadJack]

you want a george bush joke?

you want a george bush joke?

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell, where the
Devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the Devil.
"You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell
you what I'm going to do.

I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.

The Devil opened the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed-over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.

No," Bush said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil led him to the next room: in it was Tony Blair with sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said,
Yeah, I can handle this."

The Devil smiled and said,

OK, Monica, you're free to go."

 

[Chain Saw]

Jack..that is a funny, funny joke.

 

[THE HITMAN]

yup, that is a good one !

 

[IntenseOperator]

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan
desert when he saw something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little
old Jewish man sitting at a card-table with neckties laid out on it.

The Taliban asked, "My thirst is killing me. Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?

They are only $150. This one goes very nicely with your robes."

The Arab shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an overpriced tie. I need water!"

"OK," said the old Jew, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie,
and that you insult me. I will show you that you have not offended me.

If you walk over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely
restaurant. Go! Walk that way! The restaurant has all the water you need!"

The Arab staggered away toward the hill and eventually disappeared.

Four hours later the Arab came crawling back to where the Jewish man
was sitting at his table. The Jew said, "I told you, about two miles over that hill.

Could you not find it?"

"I found it all right," rasped the Arab. "Your brother won't let me in without a tie!