Mel:
Oh my God!!! You have my picture as your avatar!!! I am touched. I guess that means were goin steady.
But Mel, although I am honored, how can you do this to your little sister? Stealin her boyfriend. You outta be ashamed.
Before I dump Helen, tell me are you a one-dater, two-dater or more? Are you discreet, as I don't want to have to pay the trophy any alimony?
Can we meet half way between Cincinnati and Philadelphia? At least were both national league cities. Unfortunately, you have a professional football team and we don't.
By my calculations, half way between Cincinnati and Philadelphia puts us around..................................... oh my God.............Bowling Green, Kentucky. Maybe Wayne and Clint can join us for a drink.
While awaiting your response, I am preparing my Dear Helen letter to send to your sister. I know she will be crushed but when I get a whiff of tuna its Katy bar the door.
Your stud in waiting,
Eddie