Hagglers

MadJack

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The following post is a set of e-mails from me actually trying to sell my TV. I guess I was asking too much for it.
Original ad:
PLASMA HDTV - $850
I'm selling my 42" 720p Samsung Plasma TV (PN42A410). I bought it a year ago and there is nothing wrong with it. I just want to get a bigger TV with more P's.
From ************@yahoo.com to Me

hey will you take $700 for it

From Me to ************@yahoo.com

You are asking me to drop the price by $150. I am willing to do this if you let me shoot you in the groin with my paintball gun 20 times in a row. You can't wear a cup. I get to set the velocity to 450 FPS.

From ************@yahoo.com to Me

seriously?

From Me to ************@yahoo.com

Yes. 20 shots and its yours.

From ************@yahoo.com to Me

uhh no. hows $750 sound

From Me to ************@yahoo.com

Do you have a girlfriend? If you do, and she is hot (I'll need pics), and she blows me, you can have the TV for $750. You can't watch either.

From ************@yahoo.com to Me

fuck off dude

From Me to ************@yahoo.com

Tell you what, I'll sell it to you for $900 and you won't have to do any of that stuff.

From ************@yahoo.com to Me

wtf your ad said $850

From Me to ************@yahoo.com

I added $50 for you trying to haggle me. I'll remove this $50 haggling fee if you let me break an empty vodka bottle over your head.

From ************@yahoo.com to Me

fuck off
<HR>
From **************@comcast.net to Me

A TV like that goes for $699 brand new at Best Buy. I'll give you $400 for it?

From Me to **************@comcast.net

For $400, I will cut the TV in half with a sawzall and give you half of it. Which half would you like? The left half has all of the HDMI inputs, and the right half has the power/channel/input buttons.

From **************@comcast.net to Me

I guess I'm going to Best Buy...

From Me to **************@comcast.net

WAIT! Before you go to Best Buy, consider my new offer:

I'll sell you the TV for my new low price of $800. Also, I was planning on leaving it on a paused frame of gay porn all weekend so it would be burned into the screen, but I won't do this if you accept my offer within the next 10 minutes.

<HR>
From cory ***** to Me

ill give you $600 cash for your tv

From Me to cory *****

Sounds good! When can you come get it?

From cory ***** to Me

where do you live?

From Me to cory *****

**** *******

From cory ***** to Me

well ya i know that but like whats your address

From Me to cory *****

I'm not telling you that. Sorry, but I just don't trust people from the internet.

From cory ***** to Me

well do you want to deliver it to my place?

From Me to cory *****

And get kidnapped? I don't think so.

Here's how it is going down: We'll meet Sunday afternoon in a crowded part of town. Lets say High St, by the courthouse. I'll be walking towards Market St and you'll be walking away from it at precisely 1:00 (when the courthouse clock goes off.) Have a black suitcase ready with $600 in unmarked, non-sequential US twenty-dollar bills. I'll have a suitcase as well, and be wearing a black suit. Tell me what you plan on wearing. We will accidentally bump into each other, drop our suitcases, and pick up the other person's suitcase and continue walking. The suitcase you pick up will have a key inside it to a 1998 Ford Econoline that will be parked on Miner Street. Use the key to open the back of the van, which will have the TV inside of it. Take the TV, and leave the key in the van. You will be watched so don't try anything funny. If the suitcase does not have $600 in it, the van will be destroyed.

Does this work for you?

From cory ***** to Me

no wtf

From Me to cory *****

why not?


http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=63
 

DrRays

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Good thing no one bought it from you for $850 since you are ripping people off ! :mj07: Walmart sells it for $827 with a full warranty and Best Buy the 09 version for $679.99 :

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage...2A410&lp=1&type=product&cp=1&id=1218064392359

When you sell your used items online you should expect anywhere from 25-50% discount off the posted price if you really want to sell it.


:shrug:

In the future the ad should read like this :

PLASMA HDTV - $850
I'm selling my 42" 720p Samsung Plasma TV (PN42A410). I bought it a year ago and there is nothing wrong with it. I just want to get a bigger TV with more P's. Do you have a girlfriend? If you do, and she is hot (I'll need pics), and she blows me, you can have the TV for $750. You can't watch either. That is MY FINAL OFFER. :D
 
Last edited:

kosar

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ft myers, fl

MadJack

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Good thing no one bought it from you for $850 since you are ripping people off ! :mj07: Walmart sells it for $827 with a full warranty and Best Buy the 09 version for $679.99 :

http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage...2A410&lp=1&type=product&cp=1&id=1218064392359

When you sell your used items online you should expect anywhere from 25-50% discount off the posted price if you really want to sell it.


:shrug:

In the future the ad should read like this :

PLASMA HDTV - $850
I'm selling my 42" 720p Samsung Plasma TV (PN42A410). I bought it a year ago and there is nothing wrong with it. I just want to get a bigger TV with more P's. Do you have a girlfriend? If you do, and she is hot (I'll need pics), and she blows me, you can have the TV for $750. You can't watch either. That is MY FINAL OFFER. :D

:00x32
 

Blitz

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Jan 6, 2002
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This one was hilarious!! :142smilie :mj07:

Original ad:
Old/used soccer equipment wanted for my kid. Will drive to pick up anywhere near Malvern. No calls, email only: ************@verizon.net
From Me to ************@verizon.net:

Hello,

I have a bunch of old soccer equipment that would be perfect for your daughter. I have soccer balls, nets, cleats, etc. Let me know specifically what you need and we can talk prices.

Thanks,

Mike

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

Actually the stuff is for my son because I want to get him started in soccer. I'm in need of a practice net, soccer ball and kids size 6 cleats if you have them. Thanks.

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

My mistake, I assumed it was for your daughter because it is soccer. If that is the way you want to raise your son, I have some other items you may want to buy for him. I have a pink twirling baton with silver ribbons, and a cheerleader set consisting of two pom-poms, pink cheerleader bloomers, and a toy megaphone.

I'm charging $100 for the practice net, $20 for the ball, $25 for the baton, and $30 for the cheerleader set. I don't have kids size 6 cleats, but you don't really need cleats for soccer anyway. Your son could probably just use his bunny slippers.

Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

Well I'm definitely interested in kicking your fucking ass. One question, asshole: if you think soccer is so gay, why do you have soccer equipment, and a cheerleader set and baton?

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

Please, you aren't kicking anyone's ass. The fact that you are getting your son started in soccer instead of football says a lot about you as a man.

To answer your question, I have the baton and cheerleader set as trophies. When I was a kid, I used to go around the neighborhood and beat up all the other kids who played soccer and steal their stuff. I acquired the cheerleader set and baton from this one kid in the neighborhood, Caleb. I always knew that kid wasn't right - he used to ride around on a pink bike and always wanted to have tea parties with the other kids. I tried to help him by beating him up and stealing his baton, but I don't think it worked. I saw him in Philly a few years ago, blowing some guy in an alley. Anyway, I kept my gatherings in my shed out back as a testament to my manliness, but I need to make room for my new shotgun and power saw.

So do you want the stuff or not? I also have Brokeback Mountain on DVD. I ordered Die Hard, but that was sent to me in error. It sounds like a movie that you and your son would enjoy watching.

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

You must be so proud of what a big man you are with your shotgun and power saw.

From Me to ************@verizon.net:

You're goddamn right I am. It's just part of being a man, which you apparently know nothing about. Tell you what - forget the baton and cheerleader set. I want to help you. I'll sell you my shotgun for $1,700. It is a 10-gauge Remington that'll put some hair on your chest. Take your son hunting with it. There is nothing more manly than blowing a deer's head off and eating the raw venison from its neck.

Then, after you are done manning up, you can come back and I'll sell you some football equipment for your son. I'd hate to see him blowing Caleb in an alley in Philly some day.

From ************@verizon.net to Me:

How about you take your shotgun and stick it up your ass and pull the trigger? Go fuck yourself.
 
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