Here's a good one.....

[barfly]

This should keep Scott busy for hours....


A man goes golfing with his friend, Scott-Atlanta. He arrives home several hours late.
His wife asks, "What took you so long?"

He replies,"Oh, honey, it was an horrible afternoon! On the third hole, Scott-Atlanta had a heart attack and died on the spot!" She says,"Oh, darling! It must have been awful for you!" The husband replies, "It was hell! Fifteen holes of 'hit the ball, drag Scott, hit the ball, drag Scott...'"

 

[yyz]

Barfly,

That is such bullshit! Even his closest friend would just leave him, and play out the 18!

 

[THE KOD]

Very Funny ! Very funny !

OK then two can play that game !

There is these two Green Bay Packer fans named yyz and barfly.
They decide to become the best handicappers in the land but don't know what to do.

They go in search of a surgeon that may be able to help them.

The doctor says I can do it but it is dangerous. Only one of you can go under the knife for this brain surgery. So after much discussion it is determined that since yyz has no luck at all and has the common sense of a doorknob, and barfly has some brainpower, that barfly should be the one to go ahead and become the worlds best handicapper.

During the procedure the surgeons hand slips and he ends up severing 2/3s of barflys brain stem. This worrys the surgeon as barfly wasnt that sharp to begin with.

When barfly is in the recovery room and begins to come around the doctor rushs to his side and says:

....barfly forget being the best handicapper in the world, I cut out most of your brain stem. You will have the IQ of a chimp and be lucky to talk at all.

Barfly looks up and says...






WAR EAGLE


Scott-Atlanta

 

[Jhpga]

That's the worst joke Ive ever heard....try again Scott...I know you got something...anything better than that.:shrug:

 

[THE KOD]

That's the worst joke Ive ever heard....try again Scott...I know you got something...anything better than that.:shrug:

These two dwarfs were very small men and they decided to both go down and be measured by the Guiness Book to see if they qualified in any category. They wanted fame.

They get there and the first dwarf says, I am going to try for the smallest fingers in the world. So he goes in and in about two hours he comes out and says ....I got in ......smallest fingers in the world.

The second dwarf says ...well I got the smallest penis in the world so I should have no trouble getting in the Guiness Book.

I bet my penis is not even a inch long fully erect. The second dwarf agrees with him and waits outside.

After about two hours the doors crash open and the dwarf screams ----


WHO THE HELL IS Jhpga !

 

[yyz]

With all the cash you should have won on your
TITFDAHYDLYMFALIDMOTT play, you could by a better loke book.

Christ......My kid had those two in her "Highlites" magizine.

 

[THE KOD]

With all the cash you should have won on your
TITFDAHYDLYMFALIDMOTT play, you could by a better loke book.

Christ......My kid had those two in her "Highlites" magizine.

jealousy will get you no where in this life yyz. Try another occupation.


Scott King of Dogs

 

[Jhpga]

Scott thanks for attacking me...I see your confidence is running high after your 1 win streak....I really wish you would quit wondering about my penis size...I realize this is what gays do in there spare time!!!!Since you want to use these 1980"s jokes how about these: Scott ....Yo moma's like a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay."


Yo moma's like a turtle, once she's on her back she's ****ed.



Yo moma's like a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.



Yo moma's like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.



Yo moma's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.



Yo moma's like a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.



Yo moma's like a mail box, open day and night.



Yo moma's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.



Yo moma's like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.



Yo moma's like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.



Yo moma's like a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.

 

[THE KOD]

:grins: :jump: :grins:


Scott King of Dogs

 

[MadJack]

come on, guys! i'm not the ONLY one getting sick of this bull$hit!