Hippo-Kramer Contest - Week 2 (Writeups + Comedy)

[Mr. Mel]

I can smell those biscuits now :00hour

 

[Agent 0659]

Mr. Mel...mind your manners!

Let it be known, I will not be removing Mr. Mel from his handicapping duties after the 0-4 start. There is no biscuit eater controversy here, although if he chokes to death or something....Bear is waiting in the wings.

One of the main reasons is, in laying out the biscuits for this weeks show, I realized the stupid human (not me!) left out the Minnesota biscuit. Either that, or Mr. Mel somehow ate said biscuit without anyone seeing:shrug:

In any event, he is NOT to blame for his bad start! At the very least, he needs a full slate!

Good boy Mr. Mel....good boy..:mj23:

 

[Kramer]

:mj23: :bigun: :bigun: :bigun: :bigun: :bigun:

:director: You aint beaten me you flee biten
mutt :moon:

 

[smurphy]

in laying out the biscuits for this weeks show, I realized the stupid human (not me!) left out the Minnesota biscuit.

Oh man, controversey already! He probably ate the Vikings biscuit and was so confused by the process that followed that he couldn't concentrate - hence, the Romo-esque dropping of the winning Texans biscuit.

And the Jets pick was obvious - he didn't know the Pats were cheating!

The way I see this, he probably should have gone 3-0 last week. Vikings, Texans, and Jets (in a fair matchup).

We will see about Mel's strength of character this week as he attempts to rebound.

 

[Kramer]

Obviously you deadbeat nitwits need a little help.
So I am going to release my 10,000 star GAME OF
THE FRICKEN UNIVERSE selection, FREE, but in
order to get this MONSTER LOCK

adlock: adlock: adlock: you need to call one
of my representatives at toll free BR549.

:toast: :drinky: :Yep:

 

[smurphy]

Obviously you deadbeat nitwits need a little help.
So I am going to release my 10,000 star GAME OF
THE FRICKEN UNIVERSE selection, FREE, but in
order to get this MONSTER LOCK

adlock: adlock: adlock: you need to call one
of my representatives at toll free BR549.

:toast: :drinky: :Yep:

Get that shit outta here, flea bitten tout!:nono:

 

[Kramer]

Get that shit outta here, flea bitten tout!:nono:

:mj07: :mj07: :mj07: :142smilie :142smilie

 

[Mr. Mel]

My picks are in. I've decided to go a completely different route this week. The dogs didn't work so well for me, so I am going with three favorites. I have used sound logic this week and based my picks on three of my favorite animals. Here is my show for the week:




Week 2 Selection Show











Bears -12

Rams -3.5

Lions -3

Since my brother's name is Bear and it was my first choice, I will make them my DOUBLE PLAY :00hour



Good luck, FOLKS, you will need it!

 

[Kramer]

:142smilie :142smilie :142smilie

You go Melster :mj07:

You STOLE my GAME OF THE FRICKEN UNIVERSE
you flee biten mutt, of wait, Agent called my
TOLL FREE #, and signed up for my PRESIDENTS
CLUB MEMBERSHIP, again that toll free number
is BR549. :00hour

 

[smurphy]

These selection shows are quickly becoming my favorite thing on the net! Mel seemed kinda reluctant. I'm not sure he likes gambling.:shrug:

....Any possibilities of introducing Mel to the world of totals?

 

[Kramer]

These selection shows are quickly becoming my favorite thing on the net! Mel seemed kinda reluctant. I'm not sure he likes gambling.:shrug:

....Any possibilities of introducing Mel to the world of totals?

Hey Smurph, did you notice during the first
selection show there were obvious signs that
Mr. Mel was starving to death and the Vick's
of the world were having to hold Mr. Mel back
because he was lurching at the picks :nono:

then in the second video, obviously animal shelter
was alerted to the cruelty of the situation and
came to the rescue of Mr. Mel and fined the
Vickest owners, hence Mr. Mel was being fed and
wasn't really interested in week two picks. OR,
I was just off base on my observations :mj07:

 

[smurphy]

obviously animal shelter
was alerted to the cruelty of the situation and
came to the rescue of Mr. Mel and fined the
Vickest owners, hence Mr. Mel was being fed and
wasn't really interested in week two picks. OR,
I was just off base on my observations :mj07:

Probably a little of each. Obviously the 'starvation method' is flawed because, although you end up with an enthusiastic canine capper, you don't necessarily end up with one with sharp judgement. Clearly he was better fed this time, which led to a more discriminating selection process. But as a result, some enthusiasm on Mel's part was missing. ...This is a dificult catch-22 and may be the reason the use of biscuit capping isn't more prevelant.

I liked how Mel was more interested in "licking carpet" :grins: than eating biscuits.

 

[Kramer]

Probably a little of each. Obviously the 'starvation method' is flawed because, although you end up with an enthusiastic canine capper, you don't necessarily end up with one with sharp judgement. Clearly he was better fed this time, which led to a more discriminating selection process. But as a result, some enthusiasm on Mel's part was missing. ...This is a dificult catch-22 and may be the reason the use of biscuit capping isn't more prevelant.

I liked how Mel was more interested in "licking carpet" :grins: than eating biscuits.

That's kinda why I like that flee biten mutt,
we are both carpet munchers :142smilie

 

[smurphy]

That's kinda why I like that flee biten mutt,
we are both carpet munchers :142smilie

:00x12 :00x12 :00x12

:toast: :jump: :jump: :jump: :toast:

 

[Agent 0659]

I love how he went from all dogs to all faves, with the obvious square thinking that faves are now the nuts:mj07: Perfect over reaction.

Then, counting on his animal friends to bail him out.:142smilie

I don't think it's too early to say Mr. Mel is in a must win situation!:com:

 

[Agent 0659]

....Any possibilities of introducing Mel to the world of totals?

I have contemplated this for sure. Just can't think of a way to do it?:shrug:

I already decided if he picks 2 teams playing each other, his pick is the over in that game.

I am also contemplating alternate biscuit configurations, if anyone has any ideas. Thinking of going with a half moon next week.

 

[smurphy]

I have contemplated this for sure. Just can't think of a way to do it?:shrug:

I already decided if he picks 2 teams playing each other, his pick is the over in that game.

I am also contemplating alternate biscuit configurations, if anyone has any ideas. Thinking of going with a half moon next week.

Yeah, you definitely gotta mix things up. He favors the biscuits up front, as any proper mammal does.

I like your 'over' solution, but it needs to have an under alternative as well.

I'd like to see something more than just biscuits somewhere during the season. Maybe something involving chew toys or where he chooses to lay down or relieve himself or ...????:shrug:

 

[smurphy]

I love how he went from all dogs to all faves, with the obvious square thinking that faves are now the nuts:mj07: Perfect over reaction.

Mel is smelling like a square, but I still predict he goes 2-1 for +2 this week.

 

[RollTide72]

Agent and Hippo, I hope you have been keeping an eye on Mr. Mel... we don't need him committing sideways on us for going 0-4 last week.

Does Mr. Mel go both ways? Obviously from the video he likes to munch carpet, but I've witnessed him licking himself :shrug:

Anyway, on with my picks for the week before I forget.

Bungles -6.5 @ Brownies :toast:
As long as Cincy can keep it's players out of jail prior to kickoff, it should be a long day in the Puppy Pound for Romeo and his boys.

Over/Under on the fans chanting "Bra-dy, Bra-dy"

less than 3 offensive series -135
more than 3 offensive series +200

Cowgirls -3.5 @ Fins :drinky:
Honestly, how can you bet on a team coached by Cam Cameron? Hell, how can you bet on any team coached by a guy named Cam? A former IU football coach and a former IU quarterback spell bad news for Miami. Not to mention they just signed two safeties who were cut from Oakland and Tennessee. Come on, how bad do you have to be if you were cut from Oakland?

Chiefs @ Da Bears -12 :bigun: :bigun:
Plain and simple, KC sucks. How do you expect to only put 3 up on the board against Houston and win at Chicago? The only thing that scares me is Train Rex calling the shots for Chitown. Of course, Damon Huard doesn't exactly make you quiver in your boots now does he? I love this game so much, I'm making it my first double play of the season.

Andy, you might as well give up now and ship those Dreamland ribs to me so I can enjoy them while watching the Tide kick some piga$$ Saturday night. :00hour

 

[Happy Hippo]

This week is easy:


BUFFALO +10

CAROLINA -6.5

Baby Blue!!

And give me some BRONCOS -10

and DOUBLE MY ORDER


This last one won't even be close...31-10

:00hour :00hour