Joke of the day.......

Sportsaholic

Jack's Mentor
Forum Member
Jan 18, 2000
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Crustacean Nation
A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did you call for me?"

The man replies, "No, what do you mean?"

She says, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you "called for me" and smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

Later, the man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he farts. Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward him, "Did you call for me?! " says the hairy man.

"No, what do you mean?" asks the newcomer.

"It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me." The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist. "May I help you?" she asks.

The man yells, "Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee."

"But, Sir," she replies, "you've only been here for a few hours. You haven't had the chance to see all our facilities."


The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 83 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here
 

Auris

Registered
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Jun 7, 2007
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After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed.

He begins to worry..

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly" she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

"No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me before the surgery." :)
 

IntenseOperator

DeweyOxburger
Forum Member
Sep 16, 2003
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Chicago
BEST DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH...

BEST DRUNK STORY OF THE MONTH...

A drunken man walks into a bikerbar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink.
Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He
gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest,
biker in the face and says:

"I went by your grandma's house today and I saw her in the
hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!"

The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are
confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a
hat.

The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with
your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!"

The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker
still says nothing.

The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I'll tell
you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!"

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the
shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says ...

"Grandpa, ... Go home, you're drunk."
 
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