Just because I feel like saying a lil bit.....

hedgehog

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First of all, Bart, best of luck moving forward, and this too, shall pass. As far as the warthog advice.......


:facepalm:

Move on is my advise and don't contact her, she walked out on him and broke his heart...:shrug:

Bart, I wish you the best :0074
 

fatdaddycool

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Move on is my advise and don't contact her, she walked out on him and broke his heart...:shrug:

Bart, I wish you the best :0074

I still talk to both my exes. I even stay at my first wife's house sometimes when i am in Chicago and she is married with two kids. Her son is actually planning on moving down here to go to school and play baseball next year so it isn't impossible to remain cordial. However, for now, I would distance myself a little bit more than I was comfortable with in an effort to get into the meat of the process so to speak. I think the more often you communicate the more you draw yourself back into false hope and waiting for her to say something other than, "I miss hanging out too." While you may not want to let it but pain and disappointment have to run their course sooner or later.

Hope this helps,
FDC
 

hedgehog

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I still talk to both my exes. I even stay at my first wife's house sometimes when i am in Chicago and she is married with two kids. Her son is actually planning on moving down here to go to school and play baseball next year so it isn't impossible to remain cordial. However, for now, I would distance myself a little bit more than I was comfortable with in an effort to get into the meat of the process so to speak. I think the more often you communicate the more you draw yourself back into false hope and waiting for her to say something other than, "I miss hanging out too." While you may not want to let it but pain and disappointment have to run their course sooner or later.

Hope this helps,
FDC
Thats what I mean, distance yourself and if you dont hear from her in 6 months or so, then send an email or text :shrug:
 

Hashish

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Ppabart, I am always impressed by the maturity of your posts. Keep moving forward.

Hedgehog, I am always shocked by your ability to make every thread about you and your stupidity.
 

Betone

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Bart, Hope you feel better soon...those antibiotics will kick in within the next couple days. The finality of ending your relationship is a harder pill to take. Time is the only cure for that my friend. Maybe an email to one of those lovely ladies on the golf course will improve your spirits.....

You are a good man Bart, better times are waiting for you!!!! Believe that :0008
 

MadJack

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Thats what I mean, distance yourself and if you dont hear from her in 6 months or so, then send an email or text :shrug:

Judging from FB posts, I think Elizabeth B wants a good schtupping. :0074
 

ppabart

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I think enough of you know me around here to know what kind of person I am. What you see is what you get. It's just how I operate. I owe a lot to having a great Mom and Dad. To all the ones that have commented so far, I appreciate the dialogue. It's exactly what i wanted. I don't pretend to make perfect decisions....but you better believe I will learn from the mistakes I make/made. If you don't make mistakes, it means you aren't taking risks.....and sometimes in life, you just have to just take a leap of faith. Sometimes it works.....sometimes it doesnt. But if you learn from it....that's what really matters. Obviously I thought I was only going to be married once....divorced none. Well, plans change.....life isn't predictable. Some factors are always going to be out of your control. If you asked me the question...was I a perfect husband.....the answer is no. I know I made mistakes....but i know i learned from them.

In the limited discussions I have had with Samantha (none of which were phone calls), I told her that I obviously don't know how things will go on a day by day basis, but I see us maintaining contact less and less. The fact is she has a new life to start in Canada and i have a new life to start here. The hard part is feeling like I am losing a good friend. Some would argue i lost that good friend a long time ago, once she made the decision to move. But that doesn't make it any easier for me. I have 12 years invested in someone that I care about.....not just on a romantic level.....but more importantly, on a personal level. She's someone I always would go to bat for because I know she's a good person. Maybe i am loyal to a fault....and if so....that's my cross to bear....but I can live with that.

Like I said.....love big....hurt big. But ya know....at least she wasnt a tranny (thank god, right Sportsaholic?) ;)
 

Happy Hippo

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Bart - Don't think there is really anything to say that will heal your pain immediately, but I think you are definitely on the right track. Your philosophy of going all out in all you do is the way to live. Just think that you wouldn't have had all the wonderful times you did with your wife if she hadn't been such a great person and friend to you, and if you hadn't invested the type of energy you did in her. That makes it hurt more, but you got that time with her, and some people will never have that type of relationship with another person. I'm sure with time you will be able to move on, and find someone else to share your life with.

Head up, and hope you feel better soon!
 

THE KOD

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hang in there bart


I read the part about your ex not being a communicator.

The other day I was eating lunch in a Boston Market deli like place they have here in Georgia

There was a couple that sat in a booth close to me that were obviously married and probably for a long time. In their early 40s

During their lunch not one word was exchanged between them . Not one how ya doin, not one what are we doing this weekend , not nothing
nada

They got up and left and I thought to myself.

What kind of a marriage is that.

Maybe this time around you will find a woman that appreciates your loyalty and good sense about life and things. One that can communicate how she feels and can express emotions when necessary.

It is not the first time I observed couples like that and it makes me sad.
 

Old School

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Thanks Brent. It's really been a "soak it all in" kind of time. I guess after I got home from work at lunch today, I was ready to just open up. I'm a communicator.....I think most of you know that by now. I don't like internalizing things all the time. I did a lot of that during my marriage to accommodate Samantha because she wasn't a communicator. That was a huge sacrifice for me to make. It just wasn't me. But even through all of that, I loved her....when you spend so much time together and are such great friends.....you never want to see that come to an end.

One thing I will share is this. About a week ago, she and I exchanged a few emails....just catching up and making sure each other was ok. Me being me....said a lil too much and told her that "I missed her." Her response....."I miss hanging out with you too." Huge kick in the nuts.....but one i needed. It really hurt but it absolutely put me in my place.


time for you to ask a fine lookin' lady to share a meal..

:0074
 

fatdaddycool

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hang in there bart


I read the part about your ex not being a communicator.

The other day I was eating lunch in a Boston Market deli like place they have here in Georgia

There was a couple that sat in a booth close to me that were obviously married and probably for a long time. In their early 40s

During their lunch not one word was exchanged between them . Not one how ya doin, not one what are we doing this weekend , not nothing
nada

They got up and left and I thought to myself.

What kind of a marriage is that.

Maybe this time around you will find a woman that appreciates your loyalty and good sense about life and things. One that can communicate how she feels and can express emotions when necessary.

It is not the first time I observed couples like that and it makes me sad.

That is why I am so glad that we are able to communicate so well. I love listening to your stories...

Now join the fantasy league you bastid.


Hope that helps,
FDC
 

gardenweasel

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bart...i had to post this....i have this song on every dvd and mp3 player i have......it`s one of my absolute faves from the past...it really reminds me of your situation.....every time i get into the car and crank up some music,this comes on and it reminds me of you....it` seems like they could have written it for you.....

hope it doesn`t make you feel bad....it`s just so perfect...


<iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cg-n07PJqU0?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


i honestly think you`ll hear from her again...in a good way...

g.l.,bud...
 
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