LSU/Auburn

THE KOD

THE KOD

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jrush2525 said:
LSU fans smell just like corn dogs.

Yes, it is often said, but so, so true.

LSU fans do smell like corn dogs.

I would never tell them that to their face though. This is something
better said at internet distances. Even now, I am afraid.

I am afraid that they'll know I said it. I'll walk past an LSU fan
someday, and he'll see that look in my eye that gives it away.
That look that says, "gee, what is that smell? Is it corn dogs?"
The next thing you know, I'll have flat tires on my car.

If you only learn one thing from me today, remember not to tell LSU
fans how they smell - you know, like corn dogs.

LSU fans seem, somehow, sensitive to that whole corn dog issue.

I think this may be why a lot of fans get beaten up by LSU fans. If you
attend a game in Baton Rouge, try to avoid telling them that they smell
like corn dogs. Say something else instead. Like, "Wow, LSU sure does
have a great team this year. This is going to be a great SEC game."

It's hard. I know. It's like when you're having sex and you try to
think about baseball. That corn dog smell is just so overwhelming.
It makes it hard for you to think about football or baseball or
whatever else. Your brain wanders into corn dog topics like: "Gee, I
wonder if I took a bite of your finger, if you would taste just like
a corn dog?"; or "Is this a real person or is it a giant corn dog trying
to make me think it is a real person?" or "What did that giant corn dog
just say?" or "Excuse me, Mister, why is it that you smell just exactly
like corn dogs smell?" or, of course, after a silencer:
"Madam, did you just let the corn dogs out?"

Heck, after what I've heard about LSU fans, I think it may be better
not to smell them at all. Okay, not all of them. Some of them are
nice. Sure. Smell the nice ones. That's okay.

You know what else is a bad thing to do? Holding your nose around them.
They are real sensitive to that, too. Try holding your breath. But
don't be obvious about it. Somehow they know you're trying not to
breathe in the corn dog smell. And that offends them. They'll likely
punch you for that if they catch on to what you're doing.

If you do breathe it in long enough, though, it'll permeate your whole
body, and then you'll smell like a corn dog just like they do. But
don't say, "Dang, now I smell like a corn dog." They take offense to
that. And they will throw things. But not corn dogs. Hard stuff.
Stuff that leaves bruises and makes you bleed. Then you may have to get
stitches or something. Just don't say it. If you do start smelling like
a corn dog, just shut up about it. Okay?

I think kids are acutely aware of corn dog smells too. Counsel your
kids on how to behave around LSU fans. If LSU fans are driving around
town, do not let your kids stick their heads out of your car window and
sniff the air. No. Keep your windows rolled up. An odd change in
their expression - indicating they smell corn dogs - might get a wrench
or pipe or some other object tossed at your windshield. So, that's
dangerous. Let your kids stick their heads out of the car windows as
you drive - on some other weekend

I know you are just as puzzled as I am about some of this corn dog
stuff. What puzzles me most is that I've never actually seen any of
these LSU fans with a corn dog in their hand. Okay, maybe there's no
mystery there - maybe they already ate the corn dogs. Who knows?
Maybe there's a corn dog factory in Baton Rouge and they all work there.
Maybe, there's a corn dog lotion that they wear, or a French perfume.

Maybe their city council puts corn dog juice in the water supply -
kind of like fluoride. The politics there are probably weird.
The big political issue during the city election is whether they should
add more ketchup or more mustard to the water. Don't comment on it
though. It's not politically correct over there. It's like a
malnutrition issue or something. It's like the corn dogs are probably
added to the water to prevent starvation or something.

I know when you go to Baton Rouge, you're thinking: "Ahhhh. Here I am
in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I'll bet the people here smell just like
boiled crawfish or shrimp etoufe' or some fancy Cajun food." But just
stop thinking that. That's just a myth. They smell just like corn dogs.

In fact, please listen to my advice. Leave them alone about the corn
dog odor. And don't try masking the odor with something stronger.
They'll curse at you. They'll say something like: "WTF, how dare you
smoke a cigar in my home," or "WTF!! Are you too good for the smell of
corn dogs?" and they'll cuss out your kids too: "WTF!!! Little Mister
fancy pants over here acts like he doesn't want to smell like corn dogs."

Cajuns are not like us. Don't you see that, yet? They are really
sensitive about being sniffed and about their corn dog aroma. They know
they smell like corn dogs and it is no laughing matter to them at all.
I know, I know. We sniff the Bammers and the UGA Dawgs and the Ole
messes, and we keep a straight face with each of them, but don't press
your luck with the Cajun tiger fans. Don't refer to Death Valley as corn
dog valley either. I mean that's just wrong. Even if you've been
drinking, they'll beat you up and curse out your kids.

Along these lines, be extra careful when you laugh in their direction -
even if you're laughing about something else. Like baseball or football,
or sex or whatever. If you can't control yourself and you must laugh
though, do not snort. The snorting makes them think that you smell their
corn dog body odor from a distance or that you're choking on it or
something. They'll likely burn your van for that. We lost a campus
building over just one snort.

So, just remember. You can love one another without sniffing each
other. You can enjoy the clash of a couple of good football teams.
You can enjoy the thrill of the rivalry. But after the game, please heed
my words. Please just move along. No sniffing the opposing fans this
Saturday. Okay? Get your corn dog jollies at home.

Enough with this corn dog talk. Let's play ball...
Click to expand...

..............................................................

that was a good one
 
W

Wilson

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Cie Grant said:
As if you wouldn't in the same position:mj07:
Click to expand...


I would be higher than a kite right now if I was you!

I hate you fucking guys for robbing us of another chance for a national championship. :142smilie

Not really---I had a great time down there and met some nice folks. Don't take my analysis personally :toast:

I really hope LSU whoops their ass.

By the way---I went to WVU/Auburn a couple of years ago---you can always brag you have the superior tailgates! :00hour ...and the hotter snatch. WOWSER!:kiss:
 
jrush2525

jrush2525

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:facepalm:

les-miles-corndog.jpg
 
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jrush2525

jrush2525

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20 minutes to kick off, I hear the corndogs fans didn't make a good showing down at Auburn today. I really think this will be a good one today.
WAR EAGLE!
 
Betone

Betone

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ryanmcgwyer said:
I will miss kickoff. I am tivoing the game but I will see you on here tomorrow night. I am not pounding my chest saying LSU is amazing, they have played sloppy. We have yet to see LSU play a turnover free game. If they do Auburn's defense will be in trouble. I am just wondering what the excuses will be when LSU wins outright?
Click to expand...

NO EXCUSES..............Auburns OFFENSE RULES:mj06:
 
jrush2525

jrush2525

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ryanmcgwyer said:
I will miss kickoff. I am tivoing the game but I will see you on here tomorrow night. I am not pounding my chest saying LSU is amazing, they have played sloppy. We have yet to see LSU play a turnover free game. If they do Auburn's defense will be in trouble. I am just wondering what the excuses will be when LSU wins outright?
Click to expand...

:mj07: CORNDOG! :fingerc:
 
Cie

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ryanmcgwyer

ryanmcgwyer

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Congrats Aub fans yall played great. Cam Newton had the white light if the holy spirit around his ass or something because we couldnt touch him. It looked like guys bounced off him. Our defense is vastly overrated. Good luck against bama, we hate them way more than auburn. We will get you next year with our new coaching staff.
 
TLankford

TLankford

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Very good game. Kinda surprised that we actually took care of business moreso when Lee was in at QB than JJ, which stats going into the game said it Should be the opposite.

Auburns offense is a machine, everyone says they are going to load the box and key Cam and force him to throw. Heard it from Scar, UK, Arky and LSU. Same thing was said week after week about stopping Mark Ingram last year. Sometimes an offense is just too good to stop in college football.

Very funny to me that after this weekend, it's not "Auburns offense is really unstoppable" but "LSU's defense is overrated". All of the sudden Bama has the best defense in the SEC, not LSU - because we beat LSU. Auburn's defense is not as terrible as everyone wants it to be. And Newton is 100% impossible to stop.

Dyer quietly got 100 yards on the ground saturday. The "Auburn has no weapons on offense outside of newton" argument is becoming very moot at this point as the season goes on.

Pretty positive I will be taking Auburn this weekend as well if the line stays at 7.
 
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