Please, forgive me

[buddy]

There was a painter named Wayne who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit farther.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on one of their biggest buildings.

Wayne put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job.

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.

Well, Wayne was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Wayne clear off the scaffold to land
on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.


Wayne was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:

"Oh, God, forgive me; what should I do?"



And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...



(you're going to love this)






"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

 

[IntenseOperator]

A successful rancher died and left everything to his
devoted wife. She was
determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little
about ranching, so she
placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two

cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the
other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one
else applied she decided
to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to
have him around the house
than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours
every day and knew a lot
about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked
hard and the ranch was
doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have
done a really good job, and
the ranch looks great. You should go into town and
kick up your heels."



The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on
Saturday night.

He returned around 2:30 am, and upon entering the
room, he found the
rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a
glass of wine, waiting for
him. She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off" she said.
Trembling, he did as she
directed.

"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever
so slowly.

"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and
placed them neatly by
her boots.

"Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it,
constantly watching her
eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands,
he did as he was told
and dropped it to the floor.





Then she looked at him and said "If you ever wear my
clothes into town
again, you're fired!"

 

[Old School]

There was a painter named Wayne who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit farther.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on one of their biggest buildings.

Wayne put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job.

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.

Well, Wayne was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Wayne clear off the scaffold to land
on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.


Wayne was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:

"Oh, God, forgive me; what should I do?"



And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...



(you're going to love this)






"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"

:mj07: :mj07: :mj07:

 

[Morris]

:mj07: :142smilie :142smilie

 

[bear]

:shrug:
only kidding
:mj07: :mj07: