DJV:
Hang him!!! Hang him!!! What happened to innocent until proven guilty. I have not yet (nor do I anticipate) seen any evidence that would implicate my client for.............. for............... My God, it just dawned on me, he hasn't even been charged with a crime yet!!! I ask you, what has this man done other than run a country to the best of his ability (and, in the most recent photograph) look strikingly similar to Jesus Christ? Is that a crime?
Please my fellow right wing brothers and sisters, name me one statute, ordinance, or law, whether Iraqi or American, that my client has violated. Once you have identified the law, please show one shred of evidence that would implicate him of such violation. Here we are, hanging this man, without a trial. Sounds like Texas justice to me.
We (the legal dream team) already have our crack squad of investigators combing the Arabian desert for clues that will lead to the real perpetrators of any alledged crimes against humanity. One of our investigators, a Mr. Mark Fuhrman of Los Angles, California, has already found a bloodied glove outside of a mosque in Mosul and a white Chevy Blazer with the cruise control set at 15mph abandoned in south central Baghdad near the 405.
Mr. Fuhrman (a former Los Angles police detective, has repeatedly denied ever using the term "sand nigger" when refering to Middle Easterners) also found a witness, who will testify that he heard the plaintiff wail of a dog at about 11:00 PM the evening the US began its pre-emptive strike based upon a perceived threat.
Well gotta go. I'm busy preparing our motion for change of venue from Baghdad to Superior Court in south central Los Angles. I remain,
Absolutely and positively, not guilty,
Eddie