the blond mortician...

AR182

Registered User
Forum Member
Nov 9, 2000
18,654
87
0
Scottsdale,AZ
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her as tonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank c heck.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'



'So I just switched the heads.'
 

freelancc

Registered User
Forum Member
Aug 18, 2002
12,268
262
83
Nevada
when are you heading to vegas ?...

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I can not stay there on Sunday if that's when you are arriving. But i will make a cameo with Jack, Jim and TerryRay:00hour
 
Last edited:

MadJack

Administrator
Staff member
Forum Admin
Super Moderators
Channel Owner
Jul 13, 1999
106,019
2,295
113
71
home
A bear walks into a bar and goes up to to the bartender. "I'll have a bud..........light." The bartender says, "Why the big pause?" The bear replies, "BECAUSE IM A BEAR"
 

MadJack

Administrator
Staff member
Forum Admin
Super Moderators
Channel Owner
Jul 13, 1999
106,019
2,295
113
71
home
A guy goes into an Irish pub and orders 3 Guinness drafts. The bartender looks at him and asks him if he wants them one at a time. He says "no I want them all at once." The bartender informs him that doing this will not be good for his other Guinness's. He says "I have 2 brothers one that lives in New York and the other is fighting in Afghanistan. We hardly get to see each other so we decided that every day at 5 o'clock EST we would have a drink together." So the bartender thinks that is a great thing for the three of them to do and pours him all three beers.

The same man comes back for the next 2 months every night having the same order. When one night he walks in and asks for 2 Guinness drafts. The bartender looks a little worried but doesn't want to ask if everything is ok and just pours the two drinks. After a couple nights of this the bartender decided to ask if both brothers were ok. The man replies yes both my brothers are fine. Then with a sigh of relief the bartender says "oh thank god I thought your brother in Afghanistan was killed in the line of duty when you were only ordering 2 beers." The man replies "oh no its not that, my doctor just told me to quit drinking."

:rimshot
 

gardenweasel

el guapo
Forum Member
Jan 10, 2002
40,607
255
83
"the bunker"
weasel spits his drink onto his his keyboard from laughing so hard ,then his brain seizes up and he does a faceplant into the keyboard.......ZZZZzzzzzzz....:sleep:


/i love em.....:142smilie
 
Last edited:
Bet on MyBookie
Top