Twas the night before Christmas

TIME TO MAKE $$$

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Jul 24, 2001
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TORONTO, CANADA
Twas the night before Christmas
And on the Madjack board
Not a finger was typing
Not even from the Hoard

Of post whores and bigots
and those who are bored
Just nothing but data
not being stored

No buzzing no smilies
no ill tempered flames
no no
no childish games

Jack was not happy for there
were no threads to be locked
And BeantownJim had long since been banned
and couldn't run amok, half-cocked

Bahamama was asleep,
propped up by her hair
And VaANurse was still deciding
to model the madjacks.com underwear

Always Prayen was bored
and his mood was somber
for he couldn't find online,
his little Buzzbomber

Even Toronto Vigilante was conked out
fast asleep in his bed
with visions of ball bearing turbos
spooling in his head

No one had a reason
no one had the answer
Not even Eddie H,
He was with the Pink Panther

All seemed hopeless
and full of dispair
When a heavy-set dude
flew through the air

Then one by one
Jack and IE and friends
said this will be fun
and put silly hats on our heads

Our two beloved admins
sat upon our couch
and led us in a meeting
of how to "Bring back the Lounge"

We talked about old-timers
and pranks of our past
The good and the bad
and how we kicked the man's a$$

How we all missed the days
of Crackrat and Cow?
and hated the crap brought in
by Billy the kid

We decided that respect
and love for our elders
intelligent dialect
and top handicappers
were the things that made
the discussion lounge so great

So we made a pact
and shook hands that day
that we would at least have a little love
for those in the madjack suaree'

As Jack and IE left
we thought something was wrong
we look on our heads and noticed
Our hats were made from madjacksports.com thongs!




Just wanted to say Merry Christmas to all since I won't have access to a computer next week as I am off to florida for a much needed holiday! Thought you might enjoy my retarded attempt at a Madjacksports.com Christmas Poem!




:) :)
 

djv

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Nov 4, 2000
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:iagree: :iagree: :142lmao: :idea: Happy Happy to all.
 

in2fitness

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Nov 28, 2001
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Atlanta, GA
'Twas the Night Before Christmas--Politically Correct Version

'Twas the Night Before Christmas--Politically Correct Version

Thought this was funny too. Great job on the madjacks version TIME TO MAKE $$$. Very creative! :lol:


'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
 
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