What food causes the Worst Farts For you?
- Thread starter Clem D
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Black Eugene-Go to yahoo sports and find College pick'em or Professional pick'em.
http://fantasysports.yahoo.com/
http://fantasysports.yahoo.com/
SIX /5 WE MAY ARGUE POLITICS BUT DAMN THAT IS A CLASSIC.
funny thread! I have trouble with milk, especially when the milk is over a bowl of Sugar Smaks. After u eat those, u have to stick really close to the dog so u can blame them on him. "Daggonit, u mutt, what died up inside of u!?"
NEARLY PISSED MY PANTS I SWEAR. NOW GO VOTE FOR KERRY
funny thread! I have trouble with milk, especially when the milk is over a bowl of Sugar Smaks. After u eat those, u have to stick really close to the dog so u can blame them on him. "Daggonit, u mutt, what died up inside of u!?"
NEARLY PISSED MY PANTS I SWEAR. NOW GO VOTE FOR KERRY
Haven't seen this item yet....
Haven't seen this item yet....
I might as well add some real mustard to this thread of my own. :moon:
The girl I'm going with is, as my friend likes to call his kids, a MexiRican. Early on, she would make breakfast in the morning. Always staples are eggs, cheese, meat of some sort, bread, oj, cooked peppers, a potato of some sort, and the deadly weapon chorizo. I get two plates full easy after a night on the town and whatever other physical activity. I have very rarely had people cook for me in my adult life, so I didn't want to come across as unappreciative. But this chorizo sh*t is physically disabling to a guy of my digestive track. I started to think she enjoyed the big white boy suffering between the peppers and the Mexican sausage.
I don't think chorizo is has any actual resemblance to a meat product what so ever.
The gas and painful results were not the only problem. I had to act like all was good in a two room house! I actually started bringing a second set of underwear and leaving them under the bathroom sink.
I have since gotten her to cut this item from all meals.
Haven't seen this item yet....
I might as well add some real mustard to this thread of my own. :moon:
The girl I'm going with is, as my friend likes to call his kids, a MexiRican. Early on, she would make breakfast in the morning. Always staples are eggs, cheese, meat of some sort, bread, oj, cooked peppers, a potato of some sort, and the deadly weapon chorizo. I get two plates full easy after a night on the town and whatever other physical activity. I have very rarely had people cook for me in my adult life, so I didn't want to come across as unappreciative. But this chorizo sh*t is physically disabling to a guy of my digestive track. I started to think she enjoyed the big white boy suffering between the peppers and the Mexican sausage.
I don't think chorizo is has any actual resemblance to a meat product what so ever.
The gas and painful results were not the only problem. I had to act like all was good in a two room house! I actually started bringing a second set of underwear and leaving them under the bathroom sink.
I have since gotten her to cut this item from all meals.
This thread brings back memories. :142smilie When I was a few decades younger I would fart into my hand and could run accross the room and throw it towards my brothers face as he was sitting there unexpectingly watching TV. The reaction on his face was classic, I get a chuckle just thinking about it. Maybe I'll try it on my wife tonight. :142lmao:
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME: Chorizo and beans are a bad combo.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME: Chorizo and beans are a bad combo.
As many of you know, I am in therapy. The cause of my mental shortcomings is not what many of you may have guessed, you know, the overstated reasons of poor childhood, major traumatic event, etc. No, my problems can be traced back to my freshman year at the University of Cincinnati.
My roomate, Michael Graves from Roanoke, Virginia (hereinafter referred to as Virginie) went out with the boys one evening. I, of course, was in attendance. We went to Crows, a college bar near campus. As most college freshman go, we were all lacking in monetary means. As such we usually chose the most economical beer to consume.
Virginie, was no exception. This fateful friday night, our evening began at around 9:00 PM and ended when the bars closed at 2:30AM. During that period of time, we consumed numerous pitchers of this local beer called Berger beer. Back in the 70's, this stuff was going for about $.89 a six pack.
Unfortunately, we were drinking draught Berger beer. Since the cost of this waste product fit our respective budgets, we continued to consume it to the point that if Ruth Bader Ginsberg had been in Crow's that night we would have all been fighting over who was going to bag that hot babe.
You get the picture. Anywho, we stumble out of Crows and pool our nickels together to purchase as many sliders (White Castle burgers) possible. Virginie buys 5 sliders with cheese, onions, ketchup and a pickle right in the middle. He also orders a large onion chip.
This tempting meal is placed in the little white bag and we slog our way back to Daniels Hall (our dormitory). Virginie, who is the worst of this most disgusting lot, places the burgers and onion chips on the side of his bed and passes out without eating a bite.
The following morning, excuse me, afternoon, Virginie awakens and sees the cold burgers and onion chips sitiing next to his bed which is underneath the black light picture of Jimi Hendrix. In addition, to the cold sliders and chips, there is a warm, unopened can of Burger beer left over from several nights before.
Virginie, of course, is starving and proceeds to consume the cold sliders and chips washing them down with the warm Burger beer. Approximately, twenty minutes after he finished his meal, I was awakened by an event which has changed my life forever.
Nothing, nothing can erase the horror of that memory. Given the choice, I would gladly spend 1/2 hour chained inside the basin of a portolet filled up to my neck with excrement and urine then spend 30 seconds in my dorm room after that hillbilly let go.
Since that time I have been trying to erase the memory of that afternoon. To this day, whenever I drive by a white castle or if I drive through the commonwealth of Virginia, I repeatedly and violently gag.
Empty stomach, cold sliders and onion chips, warm Burger and a hangover is a violation of the Eighth Amendment.
Eddie
My roomate, Michael Graves from Roanoke, Virginia (hereinafter referred to as Virginie) went out with the boys one evening. I, of course, was in attendance. We went to Crows, a college bar near campus. As most college freshman go, we were all lacking in monetary means. As such we usually chose the most economical beer to consume.
Virginie, was no exception. This fateful friday night, our evening began at around 9:00 PM and ended when the bars closed at 2:30AM. During that period of time, we consumed numerous pitchers of this local beer called Berger beer. Back in the 70's, this stuff was going for about $.89 a six pack.
Unfortunately, we were drinking draught Berger beer. Since the cost of this waste product fit our respective budgets, we continued to consume it to the point that if Ruth Bader Ginsberg had been in Crow's that night we would have all been fighting over who was going to bag that hot babe.
You get the picture. Anywho, we stumble out of Crows and pool our nickels together to purchase as many sliders (White Castle burgers) possible. Virginie buys 5 sliders with cheese, onions, ketchup and a pickle right in the middle. He also orders a large onion chip.
This tempting meal is placed in the little white bag and we slog our way back to Daniels Hall (our dormitory). Virginie, who is the worst of this most disgusting lot, places the burgers and onion chips on the side of his bed and passes out without eating a bite.
The following morning, excuse me, afternoon, Virginie awakens and sees the cold burgers and onion chips sitiing next to his bed which is underneath the black light picture of Jimi Hendrix. In addition, to the cold sliders and chips, there is a warm, unopened can of Burger beer left over from several nights before.
Virginie, of course, is starving and proceeds to consume the cold sliders and chips washing them down with the warm Burger beer. Approximately, twenty minutes after he finished his meal, I was awakened by an event which has changed my life forever.
Nothing, nothing can erase the horror of that memory. Given the choice, I would gladly spend 1/2 hour chained inside the basin of a portolet filled up to my neck with excrement and urine then spend 30 seconds in my dorm room after that hillbilly let go.
Since that time I have been trying to erase the memory of that afternoon. To this day, whenever I drive by a white castle or if I drive through the commonwealth of Virginia, I repeatedly and violently gag.
Empty stomach, cold sliders and onion chips, warm Burger and a hangover is a violation of the Eighth Amendment.
Eddie
The gas and painful results were not the only problem. I had to act like all was good in a two room house! I actually started bringing a second set of underwear and leaving them under the bathroom sink. :lol2 :canada1 :tmi:
Cupping farts!!! That is classic.Can't wait to ge tmy wife tonight!!! Thanks for The BLAST from the past!!
Hey, what douche bag stole my sig! lol.
Just kidding. Thanks for the warm welcome Big Tease and Intense O! I post from the west coast so most you may be gone now, but thanks again. On most other boards, I just get put on ignore, or just banned. I'm no goodie two shoes, that's for sure.
Not sure how you could get banned or ignored on a sports board though? Start talking about men's gymnastics? Or maybe start tellin' you fellas about what a high-roller i am, but then going to some internet sports forum for advise around football time? ( I read that other dude's post. lol)
Anyway, I noticed the pools you have here, and I will be in those. Look for blackEugene down at the bottom of the heep somewhere. And, by the way, thanks for the link to yahoo, Cisco.
Those pickled bar eggs make me fart like no one's buisness.
And thanks for the memories guys. Twenty years ago I'd be lighting farts and farting away in my arm pits. Boy, farts are funny, no getting around that. I once watched a monkey in a pet store eat his own turds. He Just caught them as he went number two, and gobbled them down like no one's business. I was only around five or six at the time.
Just kidding. Thanks for the warm welcome Big Tease and Intense O! I post from the west coast so most you may be gone now, but thanks again. On most other boards, I just get put on ignore, or just banned. I'm no goodie two shoes, that's for sure.
Not sure how you could get banned or ignored on a sports board though? Start talking about men's gymnastics? Or maybe start tellin' you fellas about what a high-roller i am, but then going to some internet sports forum for advise around football time? ( I read that other dude's post. lol)
Anyway, I noticed the pools you have here, and I will be in those. Look for blackEugene down at the bottom of the heep somewhere. And, by the way, thanks for the link to yahoo, Cisco.
Those pickled bar eggs make me fart like no one's buisness.
And thanks for the memories guys. Twenty years ago I'd be lighting farts and farting away in my arm pits. Boy, farts are funny, no getting around that. I once watched a monkey in a pet store eat his own turds. He Just caught them as he went number two, and gobbled them down like no one's business. I was only around five or six at the time.
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I thought I would bring back a "blast" from the past that I wrote a couple years ago:
http://www.madjacksports.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50414&highlight=fart
http://www.madjacksports.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50414&highlight=fart
anything I eat, after some team I keyed on blows a cover in the final seconds, lol!! :scared must be the sudden motion of charging the TV and humming the remote at a speed that would make the "Rocket" blush... :moon:
When I was married I was sound asleep after we had gone over to her friends house for turkey, stuffing and such. Of course this included my favorite, deviled eggs. I must have knocked back about seven of those bad boys. Anyway, that night we are sleeping and I am having this dream that I was running away from something, most likely any type of a family event involving her indigent, truck driving, money begging, brother that, apparently, never met a shower he liked and I distinctly remember this picture of me running down a city street. Suddenly, I was running down an underground sewer drain that had slime all over the walls. The fetid odor was so distinct and so disgusting that I actually started dreaming about vomiting. Eventually, the stench woke me out of a sound sleep. I open my eyes and they instantly they are polluted with this toxic cloud and the wife actually wakes up too, asking me "What the hell is that smell?" The fact that the dog sleeps outdoors was a real setback. Anyway, I try to tell her "I don't know" when this crap cramp sends me into contractions about ten seconds apart. I had to boom boom and in a hurry with a fury. When I go to throw the covers off....................you can't believe..........I mean..............can't believe the stench that german comforter throws out. I don't know how many geese lost their lives to make this comforter but no wonder their feathers dont get wet. Sweet Jesus it sent the wife straight into violent and uncontrollable retching, all the while calling me a sick bastard. How I get blamed for it I am not sure, but I know I ran into the crapper and took the Browns to the super bowl. That bad boy was so big I actually had to walk off of it, and the stench...........OMG.............I won't ever recover from that. I think it burned out most of my olfactory sensory organs, either that or they simply packed up and moved to a more pleasant location.................Whew!!
So I am going to go with deviled eggs on that one.
So I am going to go with deviled eggs on that one.
LMFAO at this entire thread!!! :142lmao:
BTW, FDC, where in the heck have you been? Glad to see you back around, buddy.
BTW, FDC, where in the heck have you been? Glad to see you back around, buddy.
taoist said:LMFAO at this entire thread!!! :142lmao:
BTW, FDC, where in the heck have you been? Glad to see you back around, buddy.
FDC,
nice to see you back! Your best all time classic story though is about your neighbours cat!
LMAO
Roasted garlic steak and a 12 pack with 4 cognac.........Buddy and I were at Foxwoods acouple years back, we couldn't stand the smell of each other........went into the slots room with the old folk...........walked thru the slots n let um rip..........was funny as hell watching the expressions on theses people :142lmao: and still noone left their seats, they couldnt figure out where the stench was coming from :142lmao:
pickeled hard boiled eggs, chariso (ms) sausage,
and a 12 pack, I was taking a dump in the
clubhouse two days ago and somebody walked
in the restroom and not knowing who was in
the shiter but talking to another taking a wizz,
loudly said..."how bout a courtesy flush"...
fumes were so thick you could cut it with a
knife... :moon:
and a 12 pack, I was taking a dump in the
clubhouse two days ago and somebody walked
in the restroom and not knowing who was in
the shiter but talking to another taking a wizz,
loudly said..."how bout a courtesy flush"...
fumes were so thick you could cut it with a
knife... :moon:
I am not sure what exactly was the prime ingredient over here, but for the past 5 days I have been having some serious farting problems. I think it might be too much fruit? I had a bottle of Reisling wine, and ate a bunch of apples one day... and was on a high fiber diet kick for two days...
but man, these are farts that like... I feel like I am losing a piece of me when I let it go! Not big rippers, but lil sliders, and it feels like my guts fall down a notch and re-adjust themselves inside me after I let it go and make me sweat for 10 minutes while I contemplate throwing up.
and then the smell... last night i was downstairs alone and let one go.. my wife started screaming down at me 5 minutes later because she could smell it upstaits. lord knows how... but she could.
when i figure out what is causing this phenom, I will let everyone know, because this stuff is deadly.
but man, these are farts that like... I feel like I am losing a piece of me when I let it go! Not big rippers, but lil sliders, and it feels like my guts fall down a notch and re-adjust themselves inside me after I let it go and make me sweat for 10 minutes while I contemplate throwing up.
and then the smell... last night i was downstairs alone and let one go.. my wife started screaming down at me 5 minutes later because she could smell it upstaits. lord knows how... but she could.
when i figure out what is causing this phenom, I will let everyone know, because this stuff is deadly.
