your daily dose of humor ........COLONOSCOPY..."that little camera's deep inside of m
aaaaaaaaaaahh...........or should I say.........ooooooohh........or more likely AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! :scared What is it about this word in the English language that just the mention of it strikes fear into those walking, breathing, God-fearing souls called men? Those facing the "procedure" clench their gluteus maximus before the syllable 'oscopy' even reaches their ears. What is it that can make men who have their picture under the word Macho in the dictionary quiver like frightened little puppies? I mean it's not like we're facing the agony of going through labor, like someone's trying to force a bowling ball into a test tube. I'm sure most of the members of the MJ community aren't concerned about colonoscopys at their young age (hell, some of these young "whipper snappers" --{my grandpa used to say that} probably don't even know what one is)
But us "old buzzards" have to face the music eventually. My doctor assures me that I won't remember 97% of the experience (it's already the 3% I'm concerned about!) where a foreign object is SHOVED up inside of me. Doc says the' tool of the trade' is no bigger than the diameter of his little finger (wouldn't you know my gastroenterologist has huge hands and kind of resembles one of Saddam's torture specialists at Abu Graib) Now I'm a big advocate of the anti-drug campaign but I can assure you I'm looking forward to being in la la land at the time of insertion!! :Yep:
I'm not the world's biggest wuss but will admit there is a certain amount of trepidation on the home front. My wife assures me it will be fine, to stop worrying, that I won't feel or remember MUCH!! Of course this is coming from a woman who's been through childbirth twice, so to her it's like getting blood drawn. Just the preparation alone for this 'adventure' is a workout. All you do is drink (no unfortunately it's not beer), sit, run to the john....drink, sit, run to the john...drink,s..run to the john..drink, run to the john...stay on the john. Shoot, I used to get my exercise doing triathlons every summer. This is a pretty "draining workout" -- and great cardio conditioning with all the running! kurby (both literally and figuratively)
Looks like the clock says it's time to head out. Can't wait to get back so I can finally respond to Clem's "fart thread." (This has to be one of the funniest posts of all time. My son walked by the room the first day and wanted to know what was going on. I was laughing so hard my abs {well it's actually hidden abs} ached and tears were running down my cheeks. So this "tooter" boy of mine joined me and we were just roaring :142lmao: ). When I get back maybe I can narrow down what's most offensive with my expulsions. Right now it seems that everything I eat leaves a rancid noxious aroma lingering in the house -- hence my visit today. Time to get the ol' internals checked out -- just wish there was an alternative way to check without entering the external door :scared As the final minutes approach I feel like "dead man walking" except that I missed out on my last meal(36 hours with no food). I can ponder that when I'm in the recovery room :thinking: -- let's see, what are some good ingredients I can add to the furnace to respond to Clem
This is intended to be humorous, but please in all seriousness don't neglect your yearly visits to the Doc. Wins and losses will come and go but your health...........
Use some of those winnings on the doctor's fee for your annual checkup. Will update when I get back to the comfort of my desk. Now let's all have a great day!!
aaaaaaaaaaahh...........or should I say.........ooooooohh........or more likely AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! :scared What is it about this word in the English language that just the mention of it strikes fear into those walking, breathing, God-fearing souls called men? Those facing the "procedure" clench their gluteus maximus before the syllable 'oscopy' even reaches their ears. What is it that can make men who have their picture under the word Macho in the dictionary quiver like frightened little puppies? I mean it's not like we're facing the agony of going through labor, like someone's trying to force a bowling ball into a test tube. I'm sure most of the members of the MJ community aren't concerned about colonoscopys at their young age (hell, some of these young "whipper snappers" --{my grandpa used to say that} probably don't even know what one is)
But us "old buzzards" have to face the music eventually. My doctor assures me that I won't remember 97% of the experience (it's already the 3% I'm concerned about!) where a foreign object is SHOVED up inside of me. Doc says the' tool of the trade' is no bigger than the diameter of his little finger (wouldn't you know my gastroenterologist has huge hands and kind of resembles one of Saddam's torture specialists at Abu Graib) Now I'm a big advocate of the anti-drug campaign but I can assure you I'm looking forward to being in la la land at the time of insertion!! :Yep: I'm not the world's biggest wuss but will admit there is a certain amount of trepidation on the home front. My wife assures me it will be fine, to stop worrying, that I won't feel or remember MUCH!! Of course this is coming from a woman who's been through childbirth twice, so to her it's like getting blood drawn. Just the preparation alone for this 'adventure' is a workout. All you do is drink (no unfortunately it's not beer), sit, run to the john....drink, sit, run to the john...drink,s..run to the john..drink, run to the john...stay on the john. Shoot, I used to get my exercise doing triathlons every summer. This is a pretty "draining workout" -- and great cardio conditioning with all the running! kurby (both literally and figuratively)
Looks like the clock says it's time to head out. Can't wait to get back so I can finally respond to Clem's "fart thread." (This has to be one of the funniest posts of all time. My son walked by the room the first day and wanted to know what was going on. I was laughing so hard my abs {well it's actually hidden abs} ached and tears were running down my cheeks. So this "tooter" boy of mine joined me and we were just roaring :142lmao: ). When I get back maybe I can narrow down what's most offensive with my expulsions. Right now it seems that everything I eat leaves a rancid noxious aroma lingering in the house -- hence my visit today. Time to get the ol' internals checked out -- just wish there was an alternative way to check without entering the external door :scared As the final minutes approach I feel like "dead man walking" except that I missed out on my last meal(36 hours with no food). I can ponder that when I'm in the recovery room :thinking: -- let's see, what are some good ingredients I can add to the furnace to respond to Clem
This is intended to be humorous, but please in all seriousness don't neglect your yearly visits to the Doc. Wins and losses will come and go but your health...........
Use some of those winnings on the doctor's fee for your annual checkup. Will update when I get back to the comfort of my desk. Now let's all have a great day!!
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