I'm 44 years old and woke up one day and thought my life just isn't what I thought it would be at this point. Good life up to age 30 then went downhill. I have no family left except my mom and friends are nothing more than memories now since they all got married and have different lives now. Been gambling most my life for entertainment and has backfired badly pretty much ruining me financially. Getting bald and the typical man gut and pretty much just feeling old. Been told friend making days are over at this age and I believe that. Just work acquaintances at the most. Went on a dating site and have been getting dogged out by fat girls with multiple kids and not very good looking. Thankfully I landed a good job two months ago which helped but isn't a saving grace for my whole life. Quit gambling til college football and trying to workout but its hard to maintain regularly. Im 6'3" 275 lbs. andd can stand to drop a few but not morbidly obese. I spent my weekend watching season one and two of the Jersey Shore and believe it or not it got me motivated to try and recapture my youth. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Any guys ever feel like this...
- Thread starter ROBB MACK
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You're going through some depression. Talking to a professional could help a great deal. Forget psychologists too, go see a shrink that comes highly recommended.
You could also fix this yourself but sitting there all weekend watching Jersey Shore ain't gonna cut it. Drinking ain't cutting it, gambling ain't, and eating won't work either.
Focus on a couple things that would make you feel better about yourself, like losing that extra weight. Stick to it. Once you start seeing results....you'll feel better.
All that, I better start getting back on track myself. I've been eating all the wrong things and drinking more than I should, plus I quit smoking again and started back up. I can sit and dwell on these things or I can do something about it or I can wait and have it be that much harder to fix later.
I am not good at a whole lot of things in this world, but one thing I have been gifted for some reason is the ability to look in the rear view mirror and have an appreciation for those behind me rather than focusing on those out front. Look brother, I have and do deal with some of the things you mentioned as do many others. Beating yourself up over shit that is in the past is not going to change an ounce of it. You, just like the rest of us have your "issues", but I promise you don't have to dig deep to see how much better you have it than many people in this country, much less the world. If you need a reminder do some charity work, donate some time at a shelter, visit a childrens hospital, or any other number of things that would help others as well as bring things into better scope for you. I am a self-admitted fuck-up that works to be a little better everyday. Is it easy, nope. Does it always workout, nope. Are there many people out there that would kill to have my life, ABSOLUTELY. Focus on what you can change and quit allowing the past to dictate your future. Good luck brother!
I personally Take anxiety meds daily...many people fail to understand that both depression and anxiety are diseases, no different then cancer or herpes. So take Jacks advice. Go see a professional...talk to your doctor....almost always with anxiety and depression, the person is suffering from a chemical imbalance in the brain....they either are not producing enough of a certain substance, or are producing to much of one which doesn't allow for the others to do their jobs....I'm not saying you have depression or anxiety, but a lot of people suffer from symptoms ranging from mild to severe, and often times don't know what's causing the misery. In my case, I suffer from body tremors...numbness all over my head/face...palpitations...restlessness non stop....all from anxiety. I never thought of it as a disease, not physically or even mentally, until I started to develop symptoms. I often times thought I was dying during panic attacks...came to find out my brain doesnt produce enough of a chemical that is crucial to the body...he basically said that my body feels the "fight or flight" sensations non-stop and that's why it's always constant....medications are out there to help any scenario and in my case it helped.. ....the biggest savior was talking to my doctor....I'm not a huge fan of medication, but when used right and when necessary, it really can be the only difference between happy or not....at least go see the doctor...he will be able to recommend other services if he thinks it's necessary. ...or he can get you on proper medication to help.
If it isn't depression, and more of a mid life crisis eposode, still go and talk to someone. Never hurts.....some guys think it's not manly...hell, if Tony soprano can do it, anyone can.
Even if you are fine, going to the doctor and getting the assurance of a clean bill of health can do wonders. The satisfaction of knowing your OK can do a lot for the conscious....or the sub conscious.
We all gain weight don't beat yourself up...DIET...what you put into your body can not only help you lose weight, but certain foods help promote cognitive growth plus overall good wellness...
The mind is a crazy thing and at times it can overwhelm a person....doesn't make you weak or inferior...it's just the way it is....
I always try and have no regrets...you can learn from any scenario and almost always our past experiences help to determine the ones we will encounter in the future and how we react to them...
Big thing for me was using perspective. I chose to acknowledge things I maybe could have done better, but rather then dwelling on them I try to remember for next time.
Look at the families in orlando who recently passed in the mass shooting....or my buddy whose 3 year old girl has already had a heart transplant and requires more surgery. .... that perspective Helps me to realize that although we may not have everything the way we want it, there's at least another chance for redemption..
I think jack was dead on though....talk to someone. ..you aren't the only one dealing with it, and knowing that and getting that confirmation can go a long way for the psyche.
I'm not even sure I answered your qiestion...just wanting to share so you know many deal with similar stuff and you will be totally fine..
I'm not a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night
If it isn't depression, and more of a mid life crisis eposode, still go and talk to someone. Never hurts.....some guys think it's not manly...hell, if Tony soprano can do it, anyone can.
Even if you are fine, going to the doctor and getting the assurance of a clean bill of health can do wonders. The satisfaction of knowing your OK can do a lot for the conscious....or the sub conscious.
We all gain weight don't beat yourself up...DIET...what you put into your body can not only help you lose weight, but certain foods help promote cognitive growth plus overall good wellness...
The mind is a crazy thing and at times it can overwhelm a person....doesn't make you weak or inferior...it's just the way it is....
I always try and have no regrets...you can learn from any scenario and almost always our past experiences help to determine the ones we will encounter in the future and how we react to them...
Big thing for me was using perspective. I chose to acknowledge things I maybe could have done better, but rather then dwelling on them I try to remember for next time.
Look at the families in orlando who recently passed in the mass shooting....or my buddy whose 3 year old girl has already had a heart transplant and requires more surgery. .... that perspective Helps me to realize that although we may not have everything the way we want it, there's at least another chance for redemption..
I think jack was dead on though....talk to someone. ..you aren't the only one dealing with it, and knowing that and getting that confirmation can go a long way for the psyche.
I'm not even sure I answered your qiestion...just wanting to share so you know many deal with similar stuff and you will be totally fine..
I'm not a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night
- Oct 15, 2015
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Robb, we are almost in similar stature, or at least used to be. I'm 6'4 and used to weigh 252 lbs. I felt sloppy and out of shape. Which was a killer since I played all sports through HS and even college. I recently lost 35 lbs just through good eating and hard work at the gym. The hardest part is staying focused and not giving in to temptation.
How did I do it? I set small goals that helped me get to the greater goal. When I first started running, I couldn't run more than 1/4 a mile at a 10min pace!! I dropped 35 pounds and by the end I was running 5-6 miles at a 7:40 pace! I just set small goals like, "this week I want to get to 1/2 a mile" in 2 weeks i wanna be able to run 1 entire mile. Don't ever be afraid to stop. Tomorrow is a new day!
I love rum and coke. But I had to cut out soda. So I switched to vodka soda water.
Don't think you can't do it. Think you can! Don't make excuses for yourself. Make goals and motivation for yourself. I get so pumped when I see someone who wants to do better for themselves and get into shape. Fuck all those bro's who look buff in the gym. FOCUS ON YOU! Don't compare yourself to them!
You can do anything you want to do(within reason). All you have to do....is go for it!
How did I do it? I set small goals that helped me get to the greater goal. When I first started running, I couldn't run more than 1/4 a mile at a 10min pace!! I dropped 35 pounds and by the end I was running 5-6 miles at a 7:40 pace! I just set small goals like, "this week I want to get to 1/2 a mile" in 2 weeks i wanna be able to run 1 entire mile. Don't ever be afraid to stop. Tomorrow is a new day!
I love rum and coke. But I had to cut out soda. So I switched to vodka soda water.
Don't think you can't do it. Think you can! Don't make excuses for yourself. Make goals and motivation for yourself. I get so pumped when I see someone who wants to do better for themselves and get into shape. Fuck all those bro's who look buff in the gym. FOCUS ON YOU! Don't compare yourself to them!
You can do anything you want to do(within reason). All you have to do....is go for it!
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Download the app called "Meet Up" great way to make new friends with people who are looking to make new friends! There are sporting events, activities, etc....You'll love it!
Completely agree.... for years I have been "dealing with it" in the hopes I could get through it without meds but we just went through a pretty "rough spot" at home and I decided that maybe I need to get some help and I am so glad I did. Denial is part of the problem. I felt I could deal with some things on my own as long as I was surviving but now that I'm on meds I feel much better and much happier. Don't ever feel embarrassed about asking for help. You will thank yourself in the long run.
44 is still fairly young...:0074 just stay positive, find something you love and do it. Confide in friends you truly admire, you will be surprised how things will start to improve for you.:0074
I'm 44 as well and while I'm not dealing with the things you're dealing with I will say this age range is pretty tough. It's just too easy to look back and say "I wish I was in my 20s or I wish I would have known in my 30s I was still young." It hit me the other day when I was talking to my dad and he told me he would give anything to be my age again. He said his mid 40s to mid 50s were the best of his life. There's no reason you can't make the best years of your life the ones ahead of you. Get in shape and build your confidence up.
Also, you can still make new friends at any age. Even though a lot of your friends are married, they're probably also at that age where a lot of them are getting ready to become free agents again.
Also, you can still make new friends at any age. Even though a lot of your friends are married, they're probably also at that age where a lot of them are getting ready to become free agents again.
Thanks guys for all the responses. Great perspective. I forgot to mention that I'm a registered dietitian with a minor in exercise physiology. I possess the knowledge but not the motivation...until now. I have to get started tonight. Thanks again to all who replied.
soljah!! keep marching forward!
some find da path earlier than other's
but it's neva too late!
when you come apon a fork in the path
make ur best decision
right or wrong don't look back
keep going forward!
turn negative into positive
surround yourself with positive vibes!
humbly excuse yourself from negativity
you have nothing to prove to no one!
always set goals for without goals
there is no finish line!
As you already know you belong to the best forum on the Web!
da soljah'z here are solid as they come!
they have so much heart n knowledge to offer!
I know you will succeed!
keep us all posted on your path to success!
so we may all rejoice with you!
lastly always keep it real!
as always my best to you n all da MJ soljah'z!!
glta!
some find da path earlier than other's
but it's neva too late!
when you come apon a fork in the path
make ur best decision
right or wrong don't look back
keep going forward!
turn negative into positive
surround yourself with positive vibes!
humbly excuse yourself from negativity
you have nothing to prove to no one!
always set goals for without goals
there is no finish line!
As you already know you belong to the best forum on the Web!
da soljah'z here are solid as they come!
they have so much heart n knowledge to offer!
I know you will succeed!
keep us all posted on your path to success!
so we may all rejoice with you!
lastly always keep it real!
as always my best to you n all da MJ soljah'z!!
glta!
glad you are doing better! stuff can literally make you feel like you are losing your mind.....
as far as improving things, I would recommend staying away from alcohol if you can in some situations-- at least while starting meds and trying to transition......makes emotions/body/meds all work differently then intended
gl with everything
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It takes 4 weeks for you to notice your body changing.
It takes 8 weeks for your friends and family to notice your body changing.
It takes 12 weeks for the world to notice.
Just take it 1 day at a time man! You can do it!
Find your closest river and go fly fishing and I am serious. It works wonders for me. I go by myself and fish all day, it is a great stress reliever. Once you get hooked on it join a local flyfishing club and they will be dragging your ass all over the state fishing.
Edit This is assuming you know how to flyfish, if not get a free lessson at a flyfishing store.
Edit This is assuming you know how to flyfish, if not get a free lessson at a flyfishing store.
