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Hang it there buddy, everything will turn out alright.
You have already proven that you are going to handle all of this and come out a better person.
Less than 36 hours away.....
- Thread starter ppabart
- Start date
:0074
Hang it there buddy, everything will turn out alright.
You have already proven that you are going to handle all of this and come out a better person.
I guess I am an asshole...I would just tell her call or text me when you get there and then cut off all communication :sadwave: I am being serious too, nothing worse than being rejected...Bart is a bigger person than I am for being so cool about it
Thanks Sponge, and not something I am going to rehash to you all again. You all are great. In regards to Bart, its a loss, and one that is out of his control really, so I liken it to mine.
For intensive purposes, emotionally I think Bart will be all over the place. The gambit of emotions will be high, sad mad bitter and so on. He seems to be doing as good as one could hope, and for that I applaud.
I hope nobody ever has to go through what is happening here or with me. No matter how tough you think you are, and trust me not many out there physically stronger than me and mentally I am steel, but it broke me.
I think hes doing all the right things, so all the best again Bart, time will help. Just stay from Noley (LOL).
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If you always do what you've always done, you always get what you've always got :0008
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something I have noticed about your advice.
It always stems from the experiences you have had in relationships.
your ex brought you down hard and you aint got over it and may never
Bart,
Hope all is going as well as it can for you so far brother. Good feelings your way.
Gentlemen,
Stay on point. Not the thread to be worried about other posters. Please keep in mind who started the thread and the content.
Cheers to all you good madjackers!
Hope that helps,
FDC
Hope all is going as well as it can for you so far brother. Good feelings your way.
Gentlemen,
Stay on point. Not the thread to be worried about other posters. Please keep in mind who started the thread and the content.
Cheers to all you good madjackers!
Hope that helps,
FDC
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now we are getting somewhere.
A strong woman like your mom.
So describe your relationship with your mom.
I bet we can understand alot about how you treat woman.
Maybe you should start a new thread tho.,
ppbart is on a level keel right now and we dont want to upset the applecart.
Hey Scott....the only I thing I do is treat people how I'd like to be treated. Kinda like the whole "you get what you give" saying. I know that what you've gone through with your wife must have really hurt you....and I wish that on no man. But make sure to take care of yourself. Everything else will just come naturally......that's what I'm banking on. I was with Samantha for 12 years if you add in the time we dated, and the world really has changed a lot since then. Some women are more aggressive, technology gives dating a whole new wrinkle, BUT what remains the same is the person you are. You don't have to be anyone but yourself. Someone out there will like you and want to be with you for the right reasons. All you can really do is be yourself and hope for the best. I know I have my fingers crossed.
I hope you have a great weekend
I just spoke to Samantha a few minutes ago and she's about an hour outside of Fargo, ND. She's really made awesome time....and she's exhausted. I'm glad that she's meeting a couple of her friends there in Fargo tonight and staying 2 nights before driving the final 3-4 hours to her home. I know she's glad to have the majority of this drive behind her.
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respect your opinion Morris but I have to disagree.
I think there is no way bart can be handling this pretty good.
Truth be known he may be a emotional wreck.
He has to come home to the same place he has been living with her for a long time. When its just him and his thoughts what do you think he is thinking about.
I been thru it.
It takes time. She just left yesterday. Its been one day since she drove away.
I will never forget my wife and I were visiting her mom who was almost 80 in a nursing home in NJ.
I had never met her before so she did not know me.
We flew up there and rented a car.
She could not believe that the GPS which had just came out was telling us directions.
Her mom was not the best mom in the world as she was a alcoholic and abusive.
She was married to a Lt Col and was always used to having nice things and being taken care of.
The father died of a massive heart attack when my wife was 12. She could not handle the new found responsibility with 4 young kids to raise. She took to the bottle to take away the pain.
She had Alzheimers and could not easily recognize family.
But when we got there she was lucid as a cat. We sat out on the patio and my wife had a chance to just talk to her for a hour and she responded quite well as they caught up on family things.
They had not talked like that in a long time.
Then we took her to breakfast at Dennys and she got her favorite breakfast. She was getting to know me a little and we seemed to get along.
After breakfast we took her to the Mall to get her hair done. She had not had her hair done in many years.
Just her and my wife sat in the beauty shop as they washed her hair and made her up,''
I went out walking the mall .
She was so proud to have her hair done.
She kept looking at herself in the car mirror from the back seat.
Then we took her to McDonalds. On the way she asked me if I could stop at a liquir store. After all those years and she still thought of that love for whiskey. She broke out of whatever mental state she was in for the chance to just ask that.
I said no you will eat vanilla ice cream.
She also saw a yellow car and looked out and said for another nickel they could have got a yellow one. We all laughed. She actually had a sense of humor.
So we got her a vanilla ice cream cone at McDonalds and she ate it at a small park by a nearby lake where we talked some more.
When we got back to the nursing home it was almost dark. Everyone commented on her hair as we walked down the hall. For one day, just one day, she felt human again.
It was worth the trip to have seen her face.
It was like the old days for her when everyone respected her being married to a Lt Col.
So when it was finally time to leave we were in the hallway. She hugged us both and as she walked away she turned and said to us
Dont look back. Dont look back....
I will never forget her saying that. Or how that made me feel.
Bart is one of the nicest guys here and has always been supportive to most everyone.
Hopefully he will continue to talk about it and we can all learn something from his experience.
hedge aint gotten over his and its been almost a year I think. Problem with hedge is that if she started calling him and making the right gestures he would jump right back in because its the easy way.
stay strong bart
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Hey guys,
Just my daily sanity check-in......
I feel like things are going well so far. I went out last night and hung out with a few folks, had a couple of beers (didn't get drunk or anything......I just don't feel like that solves anything and I'm not trying to hide from hurt by covering it up with mass amounts of booze). But looking back at yesterday, I think it was a great day. No sadness or crying....hung out with some fun people that care about me, but don't pity me....and came home and got a good night's sleep. That last part (the good night's sleep part) is a big deal. I'm the type of guy that has a hard time turning his brain off. If something is bothering me, my brain will just churn and churn and keep me awake. I think this whole situation has been so emotionally draining that last night I just crashed finally. When i woke up at 9am this morning, I couldn't believe it. It's the first time I've woken up and the sun was up in a long time. Kinda nice, actually.
KOD......thank you for posting the things that you have. I think that you and Morris are both right actually. Considering what all is going on, I'm handling things ok....but of course I'm still devastated, and I will be for some time. I'm going to take things day by day, get through those days by working, talking to friends (which definitely includes all of you), and just trying to stay busy. But all the while, I'm still going to make sure I let the hurt and pain run its course. Just covering up pain with beer, pills, or whatever doesn't do me any good. All that does is postpone and delay me feeling better. And I know that I'll feel better someday. It's a light at the end of the tunnel that's a long way off.....but i know it's there.
Again, thanks for always listening guys. It helps me to unload everything that's going on inside my head and heart on here.
Just my daily sanity check-in......
I feel like things are going well so far. I went out last night and hung out with a few folks, had a couple of beers (didn't get drunk or anything......I just don't feel like that solves anything and I'm not trying to hide from hurt by covering it up with mass amounts of booze). But looking back at yesterday, I think it was a great day. No sadness or crying....hung out with some fun people that care about me, but don't pity me....and came home and got a good night's sleep. That last part (the good night's sleep part) is a big deal. I'm the type of guy that has a hard time turning his brain off. If something is bothering me, my brain will just churn and churn and keep me awake. I think this whole situation has been so emotionally draining that last night I just crashed finally. When i woke up at 9am this morning, I couldn't believe it. It's the first time I've woken up and the sun was up in a long time. Kinda nice, actually.
KOD......thank you for posting the things that you have. I think that you and Morris are both right actually. Considering what all is going on, I'm handling things ok....but of course I'm still devastated, and I will be for some time. I'm going to take things day by day, get through those days by working, talking to friends (which definitely includes all of you), and just trying to stay busy. But all the while, I'm still going to make sure I let the hurt and pain run its course. Just covering up pain with beer, pills, or whatever doesn't do me any good. All that does is postpone and delay me feeling better. And I know that I'll feel better someday. It's a light at the end of the tunnel that's a long way off.....but i know it's there.
Again, thanks for always listening guys. It helps me to unload everything that's going on inside my head and heart on here.
sorry to hear Bart, if you were in Texas id take you out for beer/wings/etc to hang out.
Whatever you do bud, stay BUSY!
Whatever you do bud, stay BUSY!
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