Less than 36 hours away.....

[fatdaddycool]

Give me a ring on Friday... Chin up.

Dude? The ink ain't even dry and you are already hitting him up for a ring? Too soon bro, way too soon. Besides, bigamy is illegal. Even gay bigamy.


I will leave the chin up comment for someone else that is needing some low hanging fruit tonight.


Sorry Bart, obviously I couldn't let that one go right over the plate without taking a hack at it.

Sorry.

 

[hedgehog]

Been there, dude, and it can suck and does suck for awhile. It does get better. We can talk anytime, you know the number. The best advice I can give is do the opposite of hedgehog. I promise.

:0008

Talk soon. :toast:

my advise, fwiw, I would go to work and act like it didn't bother me, I would not help her at all, its her decision to leave...do not contact her for any reason after she leaves, no matter how hard it is do not contact her... thats my opinion...I wish you the best PBart...If she calls or texts you, do not answer the phone for any reason, it makes it easier, trust me...

 

[BobbyBlueChip]

Be strong, Bart

I'd handle it different than you, but you're a better person than me.

If you must, help her move, but don't even waste a thought on her again. Time to move onto better things and now that you have a better idea of what you want for the rest of your life, it should be easier.

 

[LuvThemDogs]

Geezus. I can't believe I'm actually gonna say this, but Hedge is somewhat right. If you let that butterfly go, it more than likely will comeback. Mark my words, if you stay tough and don't call or text, she'll want to be back at some point. May not be soon, but there's a good chance she will. At that point, you may not want her back as you alluded, but you'll have the upper hand. Been in this spot with GF's and an ex wife.

What I don't agree with, is not helping her leave. Be kind and helpful and act like she needs to do this to find herself. Point being, they usually don't find themselves and realize it's not what they wanted.

The wise old saying is, let butterfly go free, if it comes back, it was meant to be.

The hardest part is getting over the loneliness. It took 5 years but I finally met a great woman. It's easy to say just be patient, but it's about all you can do.

Surround yourself with friends and stay active. Being home alone a lot is a recipe for disaster. An idol mind is a devil's workshop. I know I'm throwing out old cliche's, but they run true...

Good luck. Don't be surprised if you get a 2am text from your ex asking how you're doing in a couple of months.

LTD

 

[kickserv]

"The best advice I can give is do the opposite of hedgehog"

Now that was funny:142smilie


ppabart.......you have got a lot of great advice, excellent advice actually. But it is time for a :canada1 to chime in.

1st off it goes without saying that Samantha is a great person, I mean after all she is a Canuck. So yes, it is going to suck seeing her go. In fact as others stated it will suck a lot.

Just think of it this way:

- If you didn't miss her then you wasted many years of your life.

- You will want to get on an airplane and go see her, trust me, you will. Guys on here will talk all tough and say "Screw her" and "I'm glad she's gone" and all that shit. You will want to pick up the phone and call her, you will. You will contact her again, you will. Just be prepared for that. It will happen. And no, it doesn't mean you are weak and pathetic, it just means that Samantha is a great person. You spent many years with her, it will not just "go away". Again, all guys will sound all tough, they aren't. It is not some chick flick where the girl drives off and you never ever contact her again. Let me say this again, you will contact her again, or she will contact you. She will not "drive off" and the credits roll, it does not work like that.

- I actually disagree with the "not be alone" part that some have said. My advice is that being alone is the best thing that can happen to you. Being alone clears your mind and doesn't allow for any distractions. I am not talking about you locking yourself in your bedroom for 3 months, but you get the idea.

- You say now that you were lucky to find Samantha. Trust me when I tell you this, you will really really really realize how lucky you were. When you finally "move on" you will see just how completely fucked up the female species are. 90 percent of the female species annoy the living fuck out of me. You will soon find this out. Yes, there are some incredible women out there, but most are taken. Good fucking luck finding a stable, smart, attractive, well adjusted, humble, funny female out there. I mean good fucking luck.


That is all.

 

[MadJack]

Geezus. I can't believe I'm actually gonna say this, but Hedge is somewhat right. If you let that butterfly go, it more than likely will comeback. Mark my words, if you stay tough and don't call or text, she'll want to be back at some point. May not be soon, but there's a good chance she will. At that point, you may not want her back as you alluded, but you'll have the upper hand. Been in this spot with GF's and an ex wife.

What I don't agree with, is not helping her leave. Be kind and helpful and act like she needs to do this to find herself. Point being, they usually don't find themselves and realize it's not what they wanted.

The wise old saying is, let butterfly go free, if it comes back, it was meant to be.

The hardest part is getting over the loneliness. It took 5 years but I finally met a great woman. It's easy to say just be patient, but it's about all you can do.

Surround yourself with friends and stay active. Being home alone a lot is a recipe for disaster. An idol mind is a devil's workshop. I know I'm throwing out old cliche's, but they run true...

Good luck. Don't be surprised if you get a 2am text from your ex asking how you're doing in a couple of months.

LTD

^^^
This!

 

[THE KOD]

I would not help her at all, its her decision to leave...

..........................................................

bad advise hedge

I broke it off with a fiancee . I not only helped her move all her stuff, but I rented her a new apartment and paid for her first months rent.
you just dont act that way with someone you have been with a long time.

 

[Penguinfan]

..........................................................

bad advise hedge

I broke it off with a fiancee . I not only helped her move all her stuff, but I rented her a new apartment and paid for her first months rent.
you just dont act that way with someone you have been with a long time.

What's got into you lately Scotty? You've been right, a lot. I don't even know you anymore.

 

[hedgehog]

..........................................................

bad advise hedge

I broke it off with a fiancee . I not only helped her move all her stuff, but I rented her a new apartment and paid for her first months rent.
you just dont act that way with someone you have been with a long time.

You broke it off, not her...different scenario, I would do the same :shrug:

 

[hedgehog]

act as if does not bother you...and do not contact her for any reason whatsoever, you will hear from her trust me, and at that point do not answer the phone or text back, give it a couple days then respond.

I should take my own advise for myself :facepalm:

 

[ppabart]

Hey guys....

Woke up pretty early this morning (been much more the norm for me lately). It's weird knowing this is the last day that I'll be here with her. Today, we pack up her car and make sure that she has everything this needs for a safe trip home.

I think everyone gives advice based on situations that they perceive in their heads and based on experiences they have had. I really appreciate everything that all of you have said. I honestly can't say what tomorrow holds once she leaves. I'm not a guy that wallows in self pity. I will absolutely grieve and hurt....but if I didn't, what the hell was my marriage really about, after all.

She and I are sitting here, having coffee together, like we have so many times. It hurts knowing that this will be that very last time. Today will be full of those very last times for things. When she woke up, I met her with a big hug....no words....as I figure my hug told the story.

Ya know, time and life are just both funny animals. No matter what happens, life keeps going on....and time keeps on passing. I'm so grateful to all of you that care. What I type on here is genuine, raw emotion. Shit....I've wiped tears away several times just in typing this entry now. It's just how I'm made though. I have a big heart....my Mom gave me that gift. It has the ability to love greatly....but also hurt equally as much. Unfortunately, the latter is true right now.

As far as contacting her in the future, I know myself well enough to know that in the beginning, she and I will talk here and there. We still care about each other and want to know the other person is ok. We have that type of relationship. This isn't a situation where either of us are walking away with anger. I know she's hurting....and I know I am hurting, I can't say that she and I will talk a lot in the more distant future as I don't see why that would do much good. She needs to find what she's looking for...I need to live my life....and sometimes, the hardest thing to do is the right thing to do.

I know I'll be back to write more later on. For now, I just need some more coffee with my wife

 

[Woodson]

Seriously get off madjacks and spend the time you have left with her...

Madjacks will be here forever...:0008

 

[vinnie]

WOW ! Sorry to hear this, I wish you both the best.

I really don't what to say other than.... my wife is my best friend & always will be no matter what.

Bye Sammy ! :sadwave:

 

[hedgehog]

Hey guys....

Woke up pretty early this morning (been much more the norm for me lately). It's weird knowing this is the last day that I'll be here with her. Today, we pack up her car and make sure that she has everything this needs for a safe trip home.

I think everyone gives advice based on situations that they perceive in their heads and based on experiences they have had. I really appreciate everything that all of you have said. I honestly can't say what tomorrow holds once she leaves. I'm not a guy that wallows in self pity. I will absolutely grieve and hurt....but if I didn't, what the hell was my marriage really about, after all.

She and I are sitting here, having coffee together, like we have so many times. It hurts knowing that this will be that very last time. Today will be full of those very last times for things. When she woke up, I met her with a big hug....no words....as I figure my hug told the story.

Ya know, time and life are just both funny animals. No matter what happens, life keeps going on....and time keeps on passing. I'm so grateful to all of you that care. What I type on here is genuine, raw emotion. Shit....I've wiped tears away several times just in typing this entry now. It's just how I'm made though. I have a big heart....my Mom gave me that gift. It has the ability to love greatly....but also hurt equally as much. Unfortunately, the latter is true right now.

As far as contacting her in the future, I know myself well enough to know that in the beginning, she and I will talk here and there. We still care about each other and want to know the other person is ok. We have that type of relationship. This isn't a situation where either of us are walking away with anger. I know she's hurting....and I know I am hurting, I can't say that she and I will talk a lot in the more distant future as I don't see why that would do much good. She needs to find what she's looking for...I need to live my life....and sometimes, the hardest thing to do is the right thing to do.

I know I'll be back to write more later on. For now, I just need some more coffee with my wife

your a better man than me...I would act like I didn't care she was leaving...When she gets to Canada safe and sound and lets you know, DO NOT CONTACT HER FOR ANY REASON AT ALL AFTER THAT...it will be hard but after a week or two she will miss you and you will hear from her

 

[ppabart]

your a better man than me...I would act like I didn't care she was leaving...When she gets to Canada safe and sound and lets you know, DO NOT CONTACT HER FOR ANY REASON AT ALL AFTER THAT...it will be hard but after a week or two she will miss you and you will hear from her

Hedge....will all due respect, I'm not trying to play games with her. It has nothing to do with me contacting her or not because I want her to contact me. I'm taking care of myself here. For my own well being, I want to make sure that she gets there, that she gets settled in and is ok. She's my best friend. I am not the type of person that can just turn that kind of thing off. I'll distance myself over time because that's what it will take. But I'm not playing the game of answering or not answering her calls. If she calls, I'll answer....but because I'm her friend....not because I'm hoping for her to come back. I've already shut that door in my mind and heart.

 

[Cie]

Hedge....will all due respect, I'm not trying to play games with her. It has nothing to do with me contacting her or not because I want her to contact me. I'm taking care of myself here. For my own well being, I want to make sure that she gets there, that she gets settled in and is ok. She's my best friend. I am not the type of person that can just turn that kind of thing off. I'll distance myself over time because that's what it will take. But I'm not playing the game of answering or not answering her calls. If she calls, I'll answer....but because I'm her friend....not because I'm hoping for her to come back. I've already shut that door in my mind and heart.

You are a better man than I am. We can all learn from the class you are displaying through this tough situation. Hoping for the best for you going forward.

 

[LuvThemDogs]

Let me give a little more detail why I think she'll be back. And I really don't know anything about your relationship other than what I just read in this thread. Which isn't much to go on and not knowing the specifics as to why she's leaving.

It sounds like you're a great guy and treat her well. Hugging, emotional, her best friend, etc, etc....Those kind of guys are hard to come by.

She will get lonely. She might try and date. This works into your favor. There are a lot douchebags out there. They want the one night stand or treat women like crap. Women have trouble meeting guys. Where do they go to do that? Bars? Especially a woman who is moving somewhere. She doesn't have automatic friends in the area that will try and set her up. She might try the dating sites. Again, a bunch of bad options usually.

Women love the best friend and if her guy was great, they really love familiarity. That would be you in this case. They also get VERY lonely just as we do.

You need to do what you think is best obviously, but allowing her time to figure out what she wants is good, and leaving her alone will only make her want you back. It sounds like you definitely don't want her to go but you need to for the short term.

Good luck again!

 

[hedgehog]

Hedge....will all due respect, I'm not trying to play games with her. It has nothing to do with me contacting her or not because I want her to contact me. I'm taking care of myself here. For my own well being, I want to make sure that she gets there, that she gets settled in and is ok. She's my best friend. I am not the type of person that can just turn that kind of thing off. I'll distance myself over time because that's what it will take. But I'm not playing the game of answering or not answering her calls. If she calls, I'll answer....but because I'm her friend....not because I'm hoping for her to come back. I've already shut that door in my mind and heart.

She is walking out on you. your a better man than I am...its not games to ignore her, if you want her back that is your way to do it. If she contacts you talk to her or text her back, be brief...do not contact her for any reason, she will miss you...not many guys like you out there, nice down to earth guys are few and far between, she will realize it...

Best of luck to you Bart, it will all work out

 

[ppabart]

She is walking out on you. your a better man than I am...its not games to ignore her, if you want her back that is your way to do it. If she contacts you talk to her or text her back, be brief...do not contact her for any reason, she will miss you...not many guys like you out there, nice down to earth guys are few and far between, she will realize it...

Best of luck to you Bart, it will all work out

As previously stated.....She and I will not get back together. There is a 0% chance of that. I'm not saying that out of spite or hatred. I'm saying that because I know her....and I know myself. Why would I want to take someone back who already left me once? Relationships are all about foundation. What kind of foundation is set knowing that someone has the ability to completely walk away?

 

[hedgehog]

As previously stated.....She and I will not get back together. There is a 0% chance of that. I'm not saying that out of spite or hatred. I'm saying that because I know her....and I know myself. Why would I want to take someone back who already left me once? Relationships are all about foundation. What kind of foundation is set knowing that someone has the ability to completely walk away?

fair enough, I would not take anyone back either if they did this to me :shrug: Best of luck to you