im trying to change some of my words. I use prick a lot but it seems like it offends people to much. I use it a lot but i guess if some never see it that much it offends them and since we are not face to face i guess they have a point. I wanted to say piss and i wanted to say balls instead of onions but i wasn't sure guys would step up and post because i think this is a funny topic.
Lets see who has the onions to admit this
- Thread starter The Sponge
- Start date
im trying to change some of my words. I use prick a lot but it seems like it offends people to much. I use it a lot but i guess if some never see it that much it offends them and since we are not face to face i guess they have a point. I wanted to say piss and i wanted to say balls instead of onions but i wasn't sure guys would step up and post because i think this is a funny topic.
I had a buddy who would habitually piss in his fish tank when he got drunk.
We'd wake up to find 1 or 2 fishies floating on the top, and then we knew tober had pissed in the damn tank again.
We'd wake up to find 1 or 2 fishies floating on the top, and then we knew tober had pissed in the damn tank again.
Its always nice to have that something in the back pocket. I never did anything like that tho. You knew you were you were but you pissed anyway?
Heard an old story while I was a kid.....
During the holidays multiple families are over and it gets late and kids go to bed. All the grownups are watching TV when one kid comes walking in the room with no recognition to anybody in the room. He walks straight up in front of the TV, pulls down his pjs and starts pissing.....all over the screen.
When he gets finished, he pulls up his pjs and turns the TV off (push knob on the TVs of that era)...... (like he is flushing the toilet) then proceeds back to bed.
One of the funniest stories I have ever heard.
During the holidays multiple families are over and it gets late and kids go to bed. All the grownups are watching TV when one kid comes walking in the room with no recognition to anybody in the room. He walks straight up in front of the TV, pulls down his pjs and starts pissing.....all over the screen.
When he gets finished, he pulls up his pjs and turns the TV off (push knob on the TVs of that era)...... (like he is flushing the toilet) then proceeds back to bed.
One of the funniest stories I have ever heard.
caught a drunk buddy of mine trying to piss on my fax,scanner, copier.
i dont remember ever pissing anywhere but a toilet, but once i stayed at a friends house, got drunk and left in the middle of the night. he called me all pissed off the next morning and i had thrown up in the guest bed. the way he found out was, his wife kicked him out of the bed the next morning and he went into the guest bedroom, saw i wasn't there and laid down in it.
fun stuff. isn't alcohol great?
i dont remember ever pissing anywhere but a toilet, but once i stayed at a friends house, got drunk and left in the middle of the night. he called me all pissed off the next morning and i had thrown up in the guest bed. the way he found out was, his wife kicked him out of the bed the next morning and he went into the guest bedroom, saw i wasn't there and laid down in it.
fun stuff. isn't alcohol great?
One New Years Eve I crashed in my brothers spear bedroom after drinking all night. In the middle of the night he comes in my room and pisses in the washer machine in the closet!!He's 6-4 so I guess it felt natural.
MJ the funny part is that you sit there and watch the guy wondering what he is doing. Then you realize it and have to hurry before your stuff is all pissed up. When you confronted him was he startled?
LOL oh shit he lifted the lid like a toilet seat? Did he put the lid down for the ladies?
absolutely, i was tired and didn't want to get out of bed. needless to say, we don't live in that house anymore.....
i've peed in a few places i shouldnt have.
Once, I was with a gal, i peed on her while she was sleeping. She woke up, and yelled at me. I apologized and told her i must have had some bad liquor or something and been waaaaay drunk.
Morale: chicks will believe anything when they are soaked with pee. I was stone cold sober and hated the b*tch.
another time, after a heavy 6 hour power drinking session we are sitting around playing cribbage in the barracks room, a guy who was passed out on the floor next to us, stands up, pulls down his shorts, pulls out his clothes drawer and started pissing in it.
its the worst dilemna ever... do you stop him? or do you let him keep on doing it because its soooo damn funny?
Once, I was with a gal, i peed on her while she was sleeping. She woke up, and yelled at me. I apologized and told her i must have had some bad liquor or something and been waaaaay drunk.
Morale: chicks will believe anything when they are soaked with pee. I was stone cold sober and hated the b*tch.
another time, after a heavy 6 hour power drinking session we are sitting around playing cribbage in the barracks room, a guy who was passed out on the floor next to us, stands up, pulls down his shorts, pulls out his clothes drawer and started pissing in it.
its the worst dilemna ever... do you stop him? or do you let him keep on doing it because its soooo damn funny?
:mj12: Pissed in the back seat of a brand new patrol car, while cuffed, several years back...all charges were dismissed :142smilie
I was not able to 'unzip', we were traveling at a high rate of speed on the interstate, officer new I had to 'go' and kept informing me it was a brand new patrol car and to just' hold on!' :142smilie
Told him I couldn't, I was cuffed........oooooooooooooo......ahhhhhhhhhhhh
Apparently, at different times in my life, I've pissed in someone's clothes hamper, bathroom sink (they were using the bathroom), and once, I pissed on the middle of my front lawn at 4:30 in the morning.
I did know a guy that used to get drunk at bars or nightclubs and he would think that the bottom tray of cigarette vending machines were actually urinals. :shrug:
BTW, my newspaper guy delivers the paper at 4:30am. :com:
I did know a guy that used to get drunk at bars or nightclubs and he would think that the bottom tray of cigarette vending machines were actually urinals. :shrug:
BTW, my newspaper guy delivers the paper at 4:30am. :com:
Have two good ones. Holiday party, we are at this couples house, guy gets HAMMERED about 9:30, by 10:00 he's passed out on the couch. We going about our business just mingling and the like. All of a sudden, dude pops up off the couch, whips it out and starts peeing on the carpet in the middle of the living room in front of everybody. Now to the best part. Out of nowhere here comes his girlfriend running full sprint. Runs over to him and sticks her cup under the stream and starts catching the "tinkle". I don't know who took the worst of the ribbing over the next month.
Another time, we were in college and we had a friend come up to stay with us, and he got jacked up, we lived in a two bedroom apartment, and he was out on the couch. Well middle of the night, I hear all this crackling noise. Sounded almost like a campfire popping. So I come running out of my bedroom, and he is just hosing down the back of my kitchen trying to pee in the trash can, the crackling was the piss hitting another trash bag already full sitting next to it. So I just mumble and go back to bed, thinking I'll make him clean it up in the morning. So next morning I come out and my roommate is wading around in it barefooted trying to figure out why the dishwasher leaked all over the floor. Man was he pissed when I told him.
Another time, we were in college and we had a friend come up to stay with us, and he got jacked up, we lived in a two bedroom apartment, and he was out on the couch. Well middle of the night, I hear all this crackling noise. Sounded almost like a campfire popping. So I come running out of my bedroom, and he is just hosing down the back of my kitchen trying to pee in the trash can, the crackling was the piss hitting another trash bag already full sitting next to it. So I just mumble and go back to bed, thinking I'll make him clean it up in the morning. So next morning I come out and my roommate is wading around in it barefooted trying to figure out why the dishwasher leaked all over the floor. Man was he pissed when I told him.
I have to admit that I have been guilty of this a few times. My sophmore year in college, we were at the beach (Dewey). I was sleeping in the house of some good friends of mine who were girls. They had a few hot ass roommates (there were like 8 girls in all) and I hooked up with 1 this particular night. In the middle of the night, I evidently got up, opened the bedroom door of my two friends (who were sleeping in bed with their boyfriends), opened the dresser drawer & pissed in the drawer. The next morning we were all at the beach when they came down & the 2 girls were all in my face SCREAMING at me "how dare I...." & blah blah blah. I didn't remember a bit of it, but we were all laughing about it later that day. I felt like a real asshole, but they were really cool about it in the end.
This past October my girlfriend & I were at a wedding at the Four Seasons in Boston. We wake up the morning of the wedding & all her clothes in her suitcase were wet & the top flap looked like it was splashed with something. She couldn't figure out what it was & neither could I. As she was wiping the top flap with a white washcloth, I started to remember taking a piss in the middle of the night. Then I saw the washcloth not bright yellow, but discolored. It turns out that in my drunken stupor, I opened her suitcase like a toilet & pissed on her clothes. She still hasn't figured it out & I told her that she must have spilled something in her suitcase in the middle of the night.
This past October my girlfriend & I were at a wedding at the Four Seasons in Boston. We wake up the morning of the wedding & all her clothes in her suitcase were wet & the top flap looked like it was splashed with something. She couldn't figure out what it was & neither could I. As she was wiping the top flap with a white washcloth, I started to remember taking a piss in the middle of the night. Then I saw the washcloth not bright yellow, but discolored. It turns out that in my drunken stupor, I opened her suitcase like a toilet & pissed on her clothes. She still hasn't figured it out & I told her that she must have spilled something in her suitcase in the middle of the night.
A guy I used to party with was the same way. His wife almost killed him one morning when she found that he had pissed in a basket full of folded laundry. Legend has it, he also pissed on the foot of his inlaws bed while they were sleeping in it.
I've done it myself a few times. It's embarrassing to get the call the next day. I remember one time I got a call that said the guy's golf clubs were scattered all over the basement and the place smelled like a urinal...and he found my underwear in the garbage can....good times.
