What food causes the Worst Farts For you?

[Clem D]

For me without a doubt it is the combination of pizza and beer. Now Im a pretty fat bastard so I'm talking about 6 slices and a twelve pack. The next day I'm just fcuking rotten. Today I let one rip in the bath tub and nearly lost it. Why do farts always smell worse in the tub? Any Scientists or foot doctors out there wanna splain that shit to me? Later on I was on the way home from The Card game and I let a little one go and I had to pull over and get the fcuk out of the old Pontiac and throw up. What the fcuk is up with that? Can't wait to do it all again tonight and then get in bed and give the old lady a little Dutch Oven treat.

Thats what the fat bitch gets for going on the south bitch diet and not cooking anything I can eat!!! :moon:

 

[MadJack]

white castle burgers. whew!

and you ain't fat, **********. not sure i met your wife. don't remember. those superbowl parties do that to me

 

[Mjolnir]

nothin says lovin, like a dutch oven!

 

[yyz]

Today I let one rip in the bath tub and nearly lost it. Why do farts always smell worse in the tub? Any Scientists or foot doctors out there wanna splain that shit to me?

The farts in the shower or tub don't smell any worse, it just seems like it. It is brought on by the humid conditions of the tub, and the fact that humidity causes our sense of smell to be more accute.

I happen to believe that the fact that most of us are naked at this time, and there is no clothing to filter out the stench, also is a contributing factor!

 

[kosar]

The farts in the shower or tub don't smell any worse, it just seems like it. It is brought on by the humid conditions of the tub, and the fact that humidity causes our sense of smell to be more accute.

I happen to believe that the fact that most of us are naked at this time, and there is no clothing to filter out the stench, also is a contributing factor!

Good write-up, yyz. :shrug:

 

[Clem D]

Thanks YYZ

 

[IntenseOperator]

Thanks for the analytical report YYZ.

Now get back to finding the cure for the commen cold and world peace.

 

[BahamaMama]

What food causes the Worst Farts For you?


i don't fart, but thanks for asking. (insert BS flag of your choice)


but let's just pretend for a minute that i did occasionally fart.... i don't think that any particular food would cause a tainting of that wonderful smell of a rose, although onions and cabbage just MAY cause an increase in frequency.

and assuming once again that i did fart, wouldn't want to be in enclosed area with myself while pregnant, because gas masks may become required.

 

[Nole]

I shittin' myself here at work.

:142smilie :142smilie

Clem D, you've outdone yourself.

On to your question. Without a doubt, w/o any hesitation, the combo for me is deviled eggs and pork and beans. I can't remember when I was invited to a picnic last. Lethal I'm tellin' ya.

Damn, Clem, funny stuff!

yyz...clothing to filter! OMG!! :142lmao:

nole

 

[Munson]

MJ hit it right on the head except down here in the South it's Krystal burgers. I haven't eaten any in quite some time. I had to stop because the farts they produce are just unbearable.

M

 

[Nole]

Wait til everyone gets home from work and sees this thread. Should be some real doosies later tonight.

:142lmao:

nole

 

[toastonastick]

I put my farts in two catagories.

1. Air horns.. These are loud and big, the kind to be proud of!! The kind that relieve pressure when expelled with a viloent roar. Air Horns Have a slightly unpleasent smell that quickly subsides. I usually get these from beer.

2. Heaters. I liken these to the hollows of hell. These actually give me warm sensation when leaving the body. By far the stinkiest nastiest stuff my body has to offer. All it takes is one little peep to put half my house out of commission for a good half hour. I have come to learn that these come from my diet usually. Tuna fish, eggs, sour kraut, cabbage all assist in a good bout of heaters.

 

[Trossi3389]

I put my farts in two catagories.

1. Air horns.. These are loud and big, the kind to be proud of!! The kind that relieve pressure when expelled with a viloent roar. Air Horns Have a slightly unpleasent smell that quickly subsides. I usually get these from beer.

2. Heaters. I liken these to the hollows of hell. These actually give me warm sensation when leaving the body. By far the stinkiest nastiest stuff my body has to offer. All it takes is one little peep to put half my house out of commission for a good half hour. I have come to learn that these come from my diet usually. Tuna fish, eggs, sour kraut, cabbage all assist in a good bout of heaters.

:142lmao: :142lmao:

 

[S-Love]

is this what a heater looks like?

 

[Tanner]

Roasted Garlic.... moon1

 

[Nole]

I put my farts in two catagories.

1. Air horns.. These are loud and big, the kind to be proud of!! The kind that relieve pressure when expelled with a viloent roar. Air Horns Have a slightly unpleasent smell that quickly subsides. I usually get these from beer.

2. Heaters. I liken these to the hollows of hell. These actually give me warm sensation when leaving the body. By far the stinkiest nastiest stuff my body has to offer. All it takes is one little peep to put half my house out of commission for a good half hour. I have come to learn that these come from my diet usually. Tuna fish, eggs, sour kraut, cabbage all assist in a good bout of heaters.

I knew it!!!

Tears are in my eyes. My kids are wondering, "What the Hell is Dad laughing about?" I'm telling them, "Funny man on the Internet!"

C'mon guys. I know there are others with some "explosive' responses.

OMG I'm dying.

nole

:142lmao: :142lmao:

 

[IntenseOperator]

. My kids are wondering, "What the Hell is Dad laughing about?" I'm telling them, "Funny man on the Internet!"QUOTE]

Mormons should use this thread in their next commercial......

"Family. Isn't it about time. From the Church of Jesus Christ"

 

[lawtchan]

This is easy to answer, since I've been on the atkins diet for a while now.

EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!

scrambled, fried, over-easy, runny, hard, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Great thing about EGGS, it takes a while to process, usually about 8+ hours.

Was on the elevator last week (alone) leaving the gym, and let one rip. Knew I shouldn't have done it, in that tight of a space, and Oh did I pay. Smell would have GAGGED a MAGGOT!!!

And, OF COURSE, NOT adhering to "Murphy's Law", the doors open, AND, you guess'ed it.

3 chicks, a guy, and an old man, waiting to get on.

NOW, I'm usually a gentleman and will hold the door open for a lady,

BUT,
I got the hell out of there without ever looking up,

I didn't read anything in the paper, about 5 people, passing out in an elevator here in town, so I guess they made it.

I haven't been back to the gym yet, and when I do, it will be at a different time of day.

lawtchan :scared moon1 oke :tmi: :bsflag :shocked: :shocked:

 

[The Big Tease]

Finally something interesting to talk about on here. Let me explain something to you ladies and gentlemen.......the art of farting is one that I cherish dearly.

I find that Chipotle Burritos give me the most impressive blasts. But I must forewarn you.....make sure that it is in fact gas that you are letting out.

I once ate a big burrito, got in the shower for the night, decided to let one go, and defacated the entire shower. I had no idea what happened........I looked behind me and much to by dismay, there was a trail of brown delight going down the drain.

And might I add that the White Castles are high on the list....only because these are the only farts that make me hungry again. It smells exactly like the burger that you just ate......I find myself farting and leaning down into the couch cushion to smell what I just created.

Thanks for the topic guys and glad I can contribute

 

[Clem D]

Now that was funny as hell.
Thanks for sharing