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  1. Cricket

    Railroad Tracks

    The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates designed the U.S. Railroads. Why did the English build them like that...
  2. Cricket

    Llittle Bruce.

    ----- ----- ----- Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, But they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, So Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are...
  3. Cricket

    Carrying Things To Far

    Carrying things too far??? I agree with our Native American population. I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins. One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay. We must be...
  4. Cricket

    Funny Commercial

    What a girl!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak_l2IcVn1g
  5. Cricket

    Weather Today

    Yesterday it was 60 degrees.
  7. Cricket

    Sex With A Patient

    *A doctor had sex with one of his female patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal of his patient were overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that...
  8. Cricket

    $2 Bet

    Husband takes the wife to a disco. There's a guy on the dance floor living it large break-dancing, moon-walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says...
  9. Cricket

    Best round of golf

    Best Golf Round Ever Sal Wallerstein was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying...
  10. Cricket

    Happy Mental Health Day

    Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the...
  11. Cricket

    Rice a Roni

    Subject: Fwd: FW: A Colonoscopy In San Francisco After having experienced the discomfort and embarrassment of a colonoscopy in my home state of Alabama, I decided to have my next one performed while visiting friends in San Francisco, where beautiful nurses are said to be much more gentle...
  13. Cricket

    Vacation(Joke)

    A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy...
  14. Cricket

    Alcoholic Test

    ! If you see the bar sign you are an alcoholic!!!!!!
  15. Cricket

    Fast Thinking

    The Fastest Thing... Jennifer a manager at MadJack Accounting Firm had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of 20 resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their...
  16. Cricket

    Might be a repost but still funny....

    A young cowboy from Montana goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money .... he calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Missoula that will teach our dog, Ole'...
  17. Cricket

    Tuber

  19. Cricket

    Hell explained

    HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet...
  20. Cricket

    Go Deep!!

    http://www.flixxy.com/hubble-ultra-deep-field-3d.htm
  21. Cricket

    Computerproblem(joke)

    SENIORS & COMPUTERS As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers. Yesterday, I had a problem, so I calledGeorgie, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over...
  22. Cricket

    Onoins and Christmas trees

    *Onions & Christmas Trees* A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs: In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to...
  23. Cricket

    Dead Penquins

    > Dead Penguins - I never knew this! > > > Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? > Where do they go? > > Wonder no more ! ! ! > It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives > an extremely ordered and complex life. The...
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