Alcoholic Insurance Agent

[The Joker]

She sent this to me yesterday.


True story.

A man and his mother came in.

the mother has on a sweatshirt that has cats all over it. at the end of the cat?s tails are cotton balls attached to the sweater. Around the cats necks are collars with jingle bells attached to the sweater.

The son has on a sweatshirt that has dogs all over it. at the end of the dog?s tails are cotton balls attached to the sweater. Around the dog?s necks are collars with the jingle bells attached to the sweater.

The end.

I wish I was joking but I?m not.

 

[MadJack]

She sent this to me yesterday.


True story.

A man and his mother came in.

the mother has on a sweatshirt that has cats all over it. at the end of the cat?s tails are cotton balls attached to the sweater. Around the cats necks are collars with jingle bells attached to the sweater.

The son has on a sweatshirt that has dogs all over it. at the end of the dog?s tails are cotton balls attached to the sweater. Around the dog?s necks are collars with the jingle bells attached to the sweater.

The end.

I wish I was joking but I?m not.

 

[The Joker]

Another email from my friend.


Guess what you suck balls. Guess what. true story. So its busier that a peanut in a turd in here today, my coworker gets back from lunch only to have her mom call in tears cuz she?s at the mall and can?t find her car or remember where she parked it so my coworker has to leave to go help her find her car. it?s like dude where my car.

Then this man comes in here wanting to know why we sent him a $3.17 check. I said who cares cash the damn thing. God I hate people

Sooo like I went to target last night. I thought I saw you cuz I saw a sweater vest. Ps I?m never going to target again cuz they are expensive as shit. I gotta go to a shower Saturday and she is registered there and I got like 3 things and it was $30 freakin dollars. Lesson learned, next time my ass is going to the dollar store.

p.s. rent the folloing movies in 7 days or you will be touched in places that hurt.

High lane
Stag night
Hereafter

 

[The Joker]

Got another one today.



Hee hee..okay so this DJ man, his name is XXXXXXX. I told you he was prob one of our crazy customers!! Lol. he has been driving us crazy for 2 weeks now cuz someone hit his piece of poo 1983 Buick and he?s been trying to get his money ( which the car is prob not worth $100).but around 4:30 yesterday my stepdad stopped by on his motorcycle to say hi and he was wearing chaps which is so wrong on so many levels but that?s another story, and XXXXX pulls up and I go, oh god that?s Mr. XXXXX, he is annoying and Jeff goes I know him. yeah he is crazy. about 500 years ago, there was this long distance thing called Excel that people tried to sell and my stepdad worked with him selling the long distance stuff. lol. anywoo XXXXX comes in and starts telling us he?s going to be famous, he just met with advtiserers and got his own website. He?s a dj and he?s started his own dj clothing line and a clothing line for babies and he?s got the right people in his life and he?s gonna make a difference and he?s gonna be on TV maybe even oprah.


And I got a midget story to tell you but I?ll have to call you later.

 

[ppabart]

I cant wait to hear the midget story :0corn

 

[Sportsaholic]

Why do I continue to read this thread sober :0003

 

[LetsMakeMoney]

and at first glance i thought this thread was about agent being an alcoholic or something :wall:

 

[The Joker]

Omg omg omg omg ..major news.. I?ve been dying to tell you?..okay here it goes..gotta clear my throat here?..cough cough hack hack snort snort???..

1.) I won a $20 gift card at panara bread. Yeah I know. calm down

2.) My boss just got a package and it?s from?..are you ready?.are you sitting down?.it?s from that Sara gabbard crap ziga or zebra whatever! eeekkk!! I go Patti ( that?s my boss) what in the world. She goes my friend said it was really good and will help clean out your system?.(I know I know were done??anyyywaaayyyss)

3.) You will never believe what our cool down song at zumba yesterday was?.are you ready?? Are you sitting down???....waterfalls. yes that waterfalls. Don?t go chasing waterfalls. And the instructor, Jamie, who?s my friend, dedicated it to me cuz she said my fb status was waterfalls the other week and she forgot how much she loved that song. Hahaha. It was awesome. Best cool down song ever. and of course I thought of your nerdy self through the whole dang sweaty song. Lol.

4.) ***EDITED***

5.) And last but not least, my coworker?s daughter in law is seriously taking off work tomorrow and putting her baby in daycare so she can stay home and watch the royal wedding. I so wish I was kidding but I?m not.
And well that?s about it??..oh I?m watching 2 movies tonight, I will report back tomorrow. your welcome

 

[MadJack]

4.) ***EDITED***

:0003

This was not necessary. You should have made 5 to 4 and not had this. Now all kinds of stuff is going thru many minds out here :facepalm:

 

[The Joker]

:0003

This was not necessary. You should have made 5 to 4 and not had this. Now all kinds of stuff is going thru many minds out here :facepalm:

It's not what anyone thinks.:0003

 

[MadJack]

It's not what anyone thinks.:0003

:00011

 

[DOGS THAT BARK]

Omg omg omg omg ..major news.. I?ve been dying to tell you?..okay here it goes..gotta clear my throat here?..cough cough hack hack snort snort???..

1.) I won a $20 gift card at panara bread. Yeah I know. calm down

2.) My boss just got a package and it?s from?..are you ready?.are you sitting down?.it?s from that Sara gabbard crap ziga or zebra whatever! eeekkk!! I go Patti ( that?s my boss) what in the world. She goes my friend said it was really good and will help clean out your system?.(I know I know were done??anyyywaaayyyss)

3.) You will never believe what our cool down song at zumba yesterday was?.are you ready?? Are you sitting down???....waterfalls. yes that waterfalls. Don?t go chasing waterfalls. And the instructor, Jamie, who?s my friend, dedicated it to me cuz she said my fb status was waterfalls the other week and she forgot how much she loved that song. Hahaha. It was awesome. Best cool down song ever. and of course I thought of your nerdy self through the whole dang sweaty song. Lol.

4.) ***EDITED***

5.) And last but not least, my coworker?s daughter in law is seriously taking off work tomorrow and putting her baby in daycare so she can stay home and watch the royal wedding. I so wish I was kidding but I?m not.
And well that?s about it??..oh I?m watching 2 movies tonight, I will report back tomorrow. your welcome

Nick I bet your friend knows my wife. Li has
Zumba classes at same place (BAC) as Jamie.

 

[Sportsaholic]

:00011

:0074



:142smilie

 

[luvmy$$$]

"busier than a peanut in a turd".....made me giggle

 

[The Joker]

so there this sweet old man that comes in here every month to pay his bill. He's so sweet but he has no teeth and he's real country and every time he talks you cannot understand him but he laughs after everything he says so donna and I just laugh right along and we have no clue what he is saying. Lol. he?s prob saying he is going to murder and rape us and we are just smiling and laughing right along with him. lol lol

 

[The Joker]

This lady was telling us about how her son wears shorts that don?t have pockets and he accidentally left his wallet behind at the dollar store the other day and when he went to get it back it was gone. I told her he should get a fanny pack if he wants to keep wearing shorts without pockets. And a shirt that has a horse on it. She said that was a good idea. The fanny pack. Not the shirt with a horse on it. snort snort

 

[The Boys]

This lady was telling us about how her son wears shorts that don?t have pockets and he accidentally left his wallet behind at the dollar store the other day and when he went to get it back it was gone. I told her he should get a fanny pack if he wants to keep wearing shorts without pockets. And a shirt that has a horse on it. She said that was a good idea. The fanny pack. Not the shirt with a horse on it. snort snort

Oh I'm sorry, I forgot you lived in Kentucky....:SIB

 

[Blitz]

Here is a pic with that Josh Durhmel guy from the transformers movie - not a photoshop. This is the only photo I could find.

I thought you said she looks like Jennifer Aniston...

 

[Sportsaholic]

I thought you said she looks like Jennifer Aniston...

Not when you're sober........:0003

 

[The Joker]

Not when you're sober........:0003

Exactly.