Good gifts for guys

[Eddie Haskell]

Esso:

It's true though, Esso, its true. I cant help myself. My wife, the former Miss Ohio 1995, is a wonderful charming senior partner at Deloitte however she can't hold a candle to my little sassy shortstop.

Little Eddie, honor student, valdictorian and captain of the golf team at a prestigious private school here in the Cincinnati area will get along fine without me as long as I can be with the Helmeister. What can I say, I love her.

I will follow her wherever she goes. She is my true love, my true love, my true love and where she goes I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow. I will follow her.

Ed, the hopelessly in love lawyer

 

[Helen]

Well Ed, you lose again. My husband is 6'2 and weighs 220lbs.. In my opinion you sound a little skinny. A little more advice don't go bragging about your bat size, it is only average at that.

You keep talking about my thighs as if they are big or something. Which, I now realize, that you can not come up with anything true to say about me. So I see that you are forced to resort to such things as making up lies. It is a shame that every person on here can see for themselves, what they look like, so it is apparent that those saying about lawyers are true.

I guess your wife must make an incredible living to afford that Lexus for you, beings you are still unemployed and all!!!

 

[Private Petey]

thighs mastered

thighs mastered

I like your thighs, helen.

 

[Helen]

Thanx Pee Pee.......I know that they are really nice. This guy is just trying to make up some lies because there really isn't anything else he can say!!!!!!!!! That is a common problem for homebound people (and unemployed lawyers). Which Ed is both. They make up extravagant stories about their own lives (to make themselves feel better) and lies about others (which also helps them feel better)

 

[Eddie Haskell]

Thanks Petey, but I'm the one giving advice here. As my client, I suggest that you, me and that made-up gay guy, leave the lesbo legion alone and return to a discussion of porn, sports, politics and porn.

The dyke horde will continue to tell each other how cute they are, congratulate each other on their softball prowess and plan meetings at sleezy east coast bars for beer guzzling after there next game.

Lets watch the cyber-flirts on this board buddy up to the gals only to be slammed back to earth by either lowered expectations upon actually meeting them at the superbowl party or by there subsequent revelation as to their true sexual preference.

However, I will always love the Helenmeister. I hope she dumps Mr. Helen as I have already told my wife, I'm leaving her.

Ed

 

[Helen]

THE WINNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE WINNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Girls looks like Ed Haskell is taking his Pee Pee somewhere else to play. Seems like we win again!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ESSO]

Eddie~ Just let me tell u that I think u are the biggest jackass in this thread. Open ur eyes boy, u got no chance with Helen.

Petey~ Thanks for ur vote of confidence. It is the quiet ones u gotta worry bout, they always keep u on ur feet.

 

[Eddie Haskell]

Esso:

Until Helen comes around, what are you doin tonight?

Eddie

PS. How do I get to Bensalem from Philadelphia?

 

[Helen]

Hey Ed, I thought that you liked being on your knees not your feet????? Oh, my fault, that isn't you!!!!!!!!

 

[ESSO]

I am not sloppy seconds, besides u got no shot with me. But dont hold ur breath for Helen, she would never resort to u. To get to bensalem I believe u would take Humeville.

 

[Eddie Haskell]

No really, Esso. Your the only one for me. Helens playing hard to get. She better watch out though if she continues to play this way she may lose me. Then she'll have to stay with that portly husband of hers Mr. Helen.

How bout you and me meet somewhere on Broad Street, pop a few Yeagers, and get a room. I'm tellin you once you go with Big Ed from Ohio you'll never go back to that slimy Italian east coast, Sly Stallone look-a-like, guys you probably are used to going out with.

Ed, the horny

 

[ESSO]

Thats pretty tempting. Taking a girl out to the bar, get her drunk, and have ur way with her. Sorry not my style, and neither r u . I am not that easy and, unlike u, I am very happy in my current relationship. U dont hold a candlestick to my man. Well y don't u try ur lines of gibberish on soemone who gives a s**t. U'll never be good enough for any of our madjack softball ladies.

 

[Eddie Haskell]

Okay Esso: I give up. But dont ruin it for me with Justinsmom and TBonez. I havent asked them out yet and I dont want them to know that all I'm interested in is gettin some strange. Can you give me some help with how I should approach them? Flowers and white wine or the bad boy approach I've taken with you and Helen?

Ed, I need a date, Haskell

 

[Private Petey]

dip the wick

dip the wick

haskell, judging by how much time these dollies spend in bars it seems like it wouldn't take much more than buying them a couple of drinks to get them loosy-goosy. i'm not being critical though, I think it's a good thing and look forward to exploring this option with them out in vegas.

 

[ESSO]

There is no good way of approaching either TBONE or JM bc u got no shot with them either. They will see right through u and realize exactly what u r after. Women are a lot smarter than u think. Right when u think u got them, they come out with stuff you would not believe. Believe me it takes us ladies a lot more than a couple drinks Petey. We r definitely not light weights.

 

[Eddie Haskell]

Peter:

I wouldn't get my hopes up. Remember no matter how good looking and buff you are I dont think they will be able to switch from their team to our team.

Eddie

 

[Eddie Haskell]

Esso:

No matter what you say, I know all four of you want me. Why do you want me? Because I'm a man and I tell it like it is. I don't suck up to you male wannabes like some of the other limp wristed members of this site.

Why the hell are you all playin a mans game anyway? You should be in the kitchen where you belong. Do you know how embarrased Justin is gonna be when he has to tell his friends that his mom plays softball.

Please watch the best movie ever made (The Stepford Wives) and get a clue how you should be. Women like you four are whats wrong with this country. Never should have given you the right to vote let alone drive.

Ed

 

[Justinsmom829]

Esso did you read that post that I put up about the fridge I didn't know there was a line on the contest I think I am gonna have to put some action on the skinny guy!!

Missy

 

[Helen]

Eddie, you are hysterical!!!!!!!!!! Your attempts at getting a reaction are in vain. You have to stick to only one opinion. You can't change them from one post to another and expect to be taken seriously. Dude, you have me laughing my a** off here. Please stop, my stomache hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ESSO]

Excuse me "male wannabes" seriously doubt that one. Just because some women like to be athletic and enjoy sports doesn't make them butch, lesbians, or pigs (or any other comments u made bout us). Justin is not going to be embarassed of his mom, its more like he will be proud of her. Women sports are very popular now a days. Sorry we arent as old as u, but get ur head out of ur a** and get with the program. Besides softball, I enjoy soccer, basketball, darts, miniature golf, chess, volleyball, and many others. U got anything else u want to say bout girls in sports. I will never be caught dead staying in the kitchen all day. I will be out doing what I enjoy. It just sucks for u that u dont have a life and are probably athletically challenged, that u feel the need to insult people that are better than u just to make u feel better bout urself. I honestly feel bad for ur pathetic life that u got.