In the spirit of Thanksgiving - thanks so much for all of your best wishes. Despite my situation, I have so much to be thankful for, including all of you who I consider my friends.
An update: Wife and I met with the urologist this morning. Side note: he had a med student with him and he told us that she would be joining us today, if that's alright. Wow... how presumptuous, really, but in the big picture, I couldn't have cared much less. I know the value of that kind of situation for students, and it didn't change anything. Just off-putting, ya know? For those keeping score at home, yes, she was attractive. And she looked sick most of the meeting, can't imagine how out of place she must have felt. I said it was fine that she was there, and I didn't consider her again after the discussion.
Here are the specifics. Clearly, I was ignorantly optimistic, but in the big picture, I'm lucky in some ways. Other ways, not so much. Urologist is recommending surgery to remove the prostate. He does not consider any other option to be worthy of consideration, other than a procedure that is done by a colleague of his in Minneapolis that does some kind of precise, directed treatment (it escapes me now) that he would fly with us to Mexico and have it done. It's relatively quick, precise, and in his words "your on the beach in the afternoon," with great results. He said it was commonplace in other countries, just not officially approved here by the FDA. Maybe covered by insurance, maybe not - probably so, but not assured. Total cost runs about $25K. So, essentially I put off buying a new car for a couple of years, right?
Clearly, plenty of things to be concerned about with all of this. I'm frustrated because the only real option he offered me was the removal of prostrate option. For those of you scoring at home, that means a legitimate 50/50 chance I would face pissing myself for the rest of my life and wearing diapers - AND - not having any more erections. I think we can all agree, those are not remotely positive options, despite the whole "choose life" option. His rationale was I'm relatively young, it's the best chance to remove the cancer and not have concerns later. He said other options (plenty of them) were not recommended by him or any other doctor (he would hope) in dealing with the cancer.
Issues I am having a hard time with. His suggestion of removal of prostate means almost certain removal of the cancer, which is good. But, percentages show in this scenario, cancer will reappear in about 8 years in about 20% of all patients. And, I run a 50/50 chance of not being able to control my urination and not having erections for the rest of my life, with those things in place.
I don't know what the other option success scenarios are, how fast the cancer could come back with them, how probable cancer could come back overall with each scenario. There are multiple options, including doing nothing at all.
The numbers I can relate: The biopsy procedure showed cancer in one of 12 biopsies. The amount of prostate showing cancer is 2% or less. Prostate cancer is slow moving, and the best cancer to have from a controllable standpoint. I don't know for sure when cancer came on in my body, so impossible to know if it will be non-slow-or-fast moving from here on out. It's possible I could do nothing and be fine. Not something that I would really entertain in the big picture, but compared to a 50/50 piss yourself with no erections future in a couple of months, I assure you it's a part of my thought process. Evidently the cancer stage is low on the low-mid-high ranking system. I think he said it was very low. I think you're starting to see my quandary...
We'll know for sure about our insurance coverage hopefully soon after the holiday weekend, which will remove the ultimate cost concerns. But we have a lot of work to do in considering all options. My wife is awesome about getting things accomplished with people. I'm great with the soft approach - she is great with the in-your-face I need answers now approach. So, I defer to her in these situations. We're going to try very hard to get into the Mayo Clinic here, but that is not easy to accomplish. There is no place better for this kind of thing, from what I know. My sister was there, and they did amazing things for her.
I post all this, not to keep the sympathy train going (which I do appreciate - thanks to all of you for your well wishes), but to gain information and knowledge from the MadJack's community. I know there are plenty of people who have dealt with cancer and some who work in the medical field and can have some valuable opinions.
We have some serious, tough decisions to make. In the BIG picture, I am fortunate. In the smaller picture - THIS SUCKS. Thanks for the opportunity to ramble on this and ask for opinions and info you folks have. Any input is very welcome, and thanks for your time. I consider all of you my friends, and know how powerful this community really is.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your friends and families - or just yourself. Thanks again for your well wishes.
